Pray
by The Unbelievable
Summary: Nnoitra died fighting Kenpachi. Now he is reborn as Harry Potter, throwing everyone through a loop. Harry isn't exactly what everyone expected him to be. Nnoitra-is-Harry fic. Rated 'M' mainly for Nnoitra's mouth.
1. Year One

**I can't help it! I must! XD**

**So I've browsed around in the crossovers (someone keep me out of there), and I have come across some very interesting stories. Some have Harry being Hitsugaya, or the other way around, some have Harry as Ulquiorra or Ulquiorra as Harry ('Waiting in Sin' is hilarious, go read it!), one with Grimmjow being Harry, and even one with Szayel being Harry and Gin being him as well. So I just had to write something.**

**Everyone, this may seem unlikely, but so did two of those things I just listed. Be ready for this.**

**Nnoitra as Harry. Awesome. I just have to!**

**Warnings: I like making Nnoitra gay for Szayel because they, in my opinion, make the cutest pairing. GrimmUlqui make one of the best, but I like NnoiSzay. No mpreg (le gasp!) but yes, Nnoitra/Harry will be gay. Don't like? Go away.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter of Bleach. I'm just playing with them for the time being.**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Zanpakutou speaking**

_**Chapter Start**_

Young Harry Potter is an enigma to many, especially to his relatives. They absolutely refuse to be called his family. The day he arrived with a letter in the basket with him, he was thrown into the cupboard under the stairs, hidden away from their normal lives. Out of sight, out of mind, after all. A week had passed before the mere thought of the boy entered Petunia's mind. When she opened the cupboard under the stairs, she expected a child of nothing but skin and bones, on death's door. Instead, what she saw was a glaring one-year-old boy, accusing her of a great crime. He had not lost any weight and did not even look like he was anything but healthy.

He scared her with that one glare. She shrieked and slammed the door closed, locking it. Vernon had come to investigate why his wife screamed, not expecting it at all. She told him about the boy and Vernon went red, thoughts already racing through his mind about the boy using his 'freakishness' on his normal family. Petunia backed away and Vernon opened the door this time.

The boy was looking around the cupboard until the door opened again and Vernon stuck his head instead, ready to start shouting and possibly wave a fist around. He stopped dead in his tracks. The boy glares at the obese man, heavily. Darkly. Deadly. A promise of pain and suffering should he try anything. It unnerved Vernon. A glare like that should not be on the face of an infant. He backed away from the cupboard, closing and locking it as well, his face pale.

Over the years, the family of three and Harry Potter had come to a silent agreement. They don't bother him, he won't bother them. Dudley had to be trained, but after that incident when the two boys were six and Dudley wanted to show his new friends how tough and strong he thought he was by picking on his cousin, Dudley never bothered him again. Dudley did not get a talking to about picking on Harry, and a glare later, Harry did not get one for kicking Dudley in the balls and breaking the boy's nose with his knee.

Many in the neighborhood believed Harry Potter to be a criminal child. Two reasons for this are his violent tendencies and his language. Whenever his teachers in Primary School tried to make him socialize with other children or to do his work, he would start swearing. Petunia and Vernon were contacted about this problem, but they could do nothing. Not because the boy has a problem with authority, but because he frightens them to the point where they don't even want to look at him.

Another strange thing about the boy is his physical aspects. Petunia expected a carbon copy of that dreadful man her freakish sister married, but Harry turned out very different. He is tall for a child his age, and lanky. He has muscles that he built up from swinging sticks around in the backyard and exercising when he could, but no matter what he wears, his muscles are near impossible to find. He truly looks like a walking, human-shaped stick. Unlike his father, whom had wild and unmanageable hair, Harry's hair is pitch black and straight, flat on his skull. His once bright green eyes developed a tinge of violet to them. Strangely enough, that only made his glares even worse. His eyes are not the same almond shape of his mother's, but slanted, as thought in a permanent glare.

Many are scared of him. He can fight better than anyone had ever seen. He had no friends because he tends to drive everyone away from him, believing them to be nothing compared to him. Also, if he has a stick in his hand, he is formidable.

Petunia and Vernon both decided that no matter what happens, they never mention his freakishness. He makes a vase explode in anger, he brushes it off and his relatives are not going to say anything about it. When he was ten, just days before his own eleventh birthday, it did not even phase him when a glass wall vanished.

In fact, he laughed. Dudley deserved it, after all. He got bored with the snake, after all, and moved on. Harry, or Nnoitra as he was called before his death in Hueco Mundo, though, continued to stare at the serpent.

"Geez, laying here all day, you remind me of Stark," he muttered lowly. The snake rose and stared back at him. "What?"

"A ssspeaker," the serpent hissed, making the young boy jump in surprise. "An honor, it isss."

Nnoitra chuckled. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, wide grin on his face. Now his glares are one thing. They mainly scare. His grins tend to make people hide under a rock or just run in the opposite direction.

"Mom!" he heard his fat cousin cry out before he was suddenly shoved to the side, knocked down to the ground because of his momentary shock and his cousin's momentum. "Dad! Come over here! You won't believe what this snake is doing!"

A growl escaped the taller boy as he rose to his feet and glared at his obese cousin. "Dudley," he growled. "I think we need to talk about your behavior and treatment of your superiors!"

In the second it took Dudley to look over and realize who he had pushed out of the way, the glass wall of the serpent cage vanished and Dudley fell into the little water pit. Nnoitra's glare disappeared as his eyes grew wide at the sight of his cousin flailing around in shallow water. He started to laugh loudly, clutching his stomach and pointing to Dudley, unaware of the large snake leaving its cage and approaching him.

"Thanksss," the snake said, breaking Nnoitra out of his laughter.

"For that sight, anytime," he snickered, the back of his hand centimeters from his lips.

His snickers turned back into laughter when the snake went chasing after other people in the reptile house, snapping at their heels as they scream and run. Then he heard banging and turned his attention back to the snake cage. The wall returned, trapping Dudley within. Fat tears stream down his face as he cries for his mother. Nnoitra only laughed even more.

Their fear of the boy made Petunia and Vernon never speak of his…abilities. Sometimes, they think he suspects, yet they still say nothing. In their mind, he is dangerous enough.

Then he turned eleven and his letter that Petunia dreaded arrived.

* * *

"This is bullshit," he commented, looking at the letter he received. "Total bullshit." His aunt doesn't try to reprimand him about his language, but he can see that she wants to. In his hands, on parchment –of all things!- is a letter. Not just any letter, an invitation.

"Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress_"_

For a moment, he is tempted to just rip it up and throw it into the fireplace. Then something dawned on him. He may be slow at times, only quick thinking in battle, but he's not stupid or unobservant.

His aunt collected the mail. Meaning she saw that the envelope says it is for him. She tried to hide it in her pocket, out of his sight.

"Oh, Aunt Petunia," he chimed, looking at her with a small grin. "Anything you want to tell me?"

She paled and started babbling, trying and failing to speak. Her hands even tried to wave around, but she brought them back down.

"Why were you hiding my mail from me?" he asked, his grin growing little.

"Well…obviously, it's just a joke!" Aunt Petunia said with a slight, nervous chuckled. "After all, magic! Well, obviously someone is trying to pull your strings."

He didn't say what the letter contained, and the wax on the back of the envelope is still intact. Even Yami could catch that little piece. "I didn't say anything about magic," he pointed out. "So, any one of you fuckers want to explain this to me?"

Vernon's face turned all sorts of colors that Nnoitra was amazed the man didn't pass out.

* * *

"You're a wizard, Harry," the large and hairy man in front of his stated, a smile probably on his face, yet lost because of the shaggy beard and moustache.

Nnoitra stood there, a blank look on his face, before he grins. The older Dursleys' cowered at his wide grin, the younger too busy stuffing his face with cake. "Well this should be fun, then," he commented.

The man, Hagrid, seemed shocked that Nnoitra had not started demanding proof about the existence of magic or firing question after question. He just accepts it.

Before he could say anything, Nnoitra scowled and looked over at the fat tub of lard he refuses to call his cousin, bent over a table and shoveling food into his mouth. That cake is supposed to be his! It has his name on it! "Fucker, what the hell are you doing?!" he shouted, making Dudley jump and spin around. The evidence is smeared all over his face. Hesitantly, he swallowed the mouthful he had. "Can you not fucking read?! That had my goddamn name on it!"

"Now, Harry, you should watch your language," Hagrid stated, uncomfortable with a eleven-year-old swearing so casually.

"Fuck you!" Nnoitra yelled at him then turned back to Dudley. "Back the hell off before I make you a chick."

Dudley nodded and scurried over to his parents. Nnoitra sighed. Tesla knew things right off the bat, even if he did screw things up. These guys are a pain in the ass to train.

"Language," Hagrid scolded again.

Nnoitra glared at him. "Fuck. You."

* * *

He is very antisocial. This is a fact that many should know by now. And if they don't they are idiots.

This giant man should have noticed he hates crowds, then he takes him into a pub and announces his name loudly for all occupants to hear. In a split second, he was swamped and everyone was taking his hands and shaking them.

Needless to say, Nnoitra was not amused.

"BACK THE FUCKING HELL OFF!"

* * *

Well the bank was fun. He should go more often. That roller coaster was fun and he wanted to know exactly how rich he is.

Eat your heart out, Barragan, 'King' of Las Noches.

* * *

A white owl. Well Ulquiorra would like it. Grimmjow would eat it, being a cat and all. Szayel would probably carry it around everywhere.

He wanted that chimera in the back corner.

* * *

"Ah, no," Nnoitra scoffed, looking around the wand shop. The place looks ready to collapse, for crying out loud! "Ain't there somewhere else to get a stick?" he asked, hating the fact that he is still small enough that he has to look up at this man. Well, he kind of had to do the same thing with Yami, but that's different.

"Nope," Hagrid cheerfully sighed, looking around with nostalgia in his eyes.

Nnoitra gagged then sneezed when dust tickled his nose. Then a old man appeared and looked at him before smiling. "I was wondering when I would see you here, Mr. Potter," he stated.

"Just cut to the damn chase and I can get the hell out of this shithouse," Nnoitra growled.

"Language," Hagrid scolded again.

The boy looked up at him with a smile. "Fuck you." He wonders how long it will take this giant to realize that is the response he will get every time he is told to watch his language.

Hey, it got Kaname Tousen to stop bugging him about it!

* * *

Sticks can have brothers? Weirdo.

This stick's brother gave him his scar? Okay, that stick gets broken. This isn't a battle scar. He wants battle scars!

* * *

"Hey, I'll need a ride to the train station the day before school starts," Nnoitra told his uncle.

Said uncle ignored him.

Nnoitra growled under his breath and lifted his leg before dropping it onto his uncle's stomach.

Vernon coughed and tried to recover his lost breaths.

"I said I'll need a fucking ride to the damn train station the day before school starts!" he yelled. "Are you suddenly deaf or something? Useless piece of shit!"

"Alright!" Vernon gasped out, attempting to yell.

Pleased with the response, Nnoitra returned to his room upstairs, one he had commandeered from Dudley a few years ago.

The small cupboard was starting to make his back hurt as he grew taller and he refused to sit there like a bug. He deserves a bedroom.

* * *

"Are you retarded?" he asked after reading his ticket. Hearing no response, he looked around. The giant man is gone. "How the hell did he leave like that without me noticing?" he wondered out loud to himself.

With an uncaring shrug, he pushed his trolley, stupidly looking for the platform Nine and Three Quarters. No such thing should even exist.

"Come along now!" a feminine voice said loudly. He looked over to see a clan of redheads. "Everyone stay together! Keep your wands hidden away! Platform Nine and Three Quarters is this way!"

He scoffed to himself. An obvious set-up. Wizards want secrecy, yet they yell the name of the platform at the top of their lungs? Not to mention his guide mysteriously disappears then these people show up. He isn't that stupid.

He watched the three eldest disappear through a brick wall, phasing through it instead of crashing into it. Szayel would have so much fun with that.

The woman, he noticed, squatted down to mess with her youngest son, yet she is also looking around. Obvious set-up, two points now. What shall number three be?

With a scoff, he pushed his trolley around her and ran at the wall. No problem going through it. Problem on the other side.

People packed together like sardines in a very large can. "Well shit," he mutters, pushing his way through the crowd. Forget manners, he wants to sit down.

* * *

The train lurches, signaling its departure. Nnoitra lays on the bench in his empty compartment, his white owl the only other occupant. Well he has to admit, she's good company. She doesn't invade his personal space and she doesn't nag him. "Your name is…" he paused, unsure about what he should name this bird. The only female he ever liked in a tolerable way was his zanpakuto, whom he has not been able to contact since his rebirth. "Teresa," he finished.

The owl hoots at him approvingly.

He closes his eyes after that and lets his mind wander. Flashes of pink hair and amber eyes, a mad grin and a lithe form. He wants him back, most of all. Santa Teresa is a hand down, that is his zanpakutou. But he really wants Szayel back. And Tesla.

The door slides open and a redhead boy pokes his head in. Nnoitra scowled at him. "Mind if I sit here?" he asks. "Everywhere else is full."

"Cry me a damn river," he sarcastically commented.

Turns out, no matter how much of an asshole he is, this boy is very determined to sit in his compartment.

_Damn._

"I didn't catch your name," the boy, introducing himself as Ron Weasley, stated.

He hates his new name. "Harry Potter," he scowled, just for the sake of getting the boy to shut up.

His eyes grew wide. "So, it's true then?" he whispered. "Do you really have the…the-"

"What the hell are you going on about?" Nnoitra snapped.

Undeterred, Ron finished. "The scar?"

_Double damn. A fan-boy._

* * *

"You'll soon learns that some families are better than others," the blond rat said. "I can help you there." He held out his hand, waiting for Nnoitra to shake it.

Nnoitra stared at it then back up at the smirking blond. He rose to his feet with a sigh. This little shit reminds him too much of Barragan, arrogant bastard. The blond, Draco Malfoy he says his name is, pales at the sheer height of him, not expecting such a tall boy that is his age. Then Nnoitra grins his wide grin, showing his piano-like teeth, making Malfoy pale even more. "Fuck off," he said before kicking the smaller boy in the stomach, resulting in him landing in the hall on his ass.

Satisfaction.

"Whoa," Weasley commented as Nnoitra slams the door shut.

"Will you stop showing me your mouth full of smashed sweets that I fucking paid for?!" Nnoitra snarled at him.

Ron is quickly learning that Harry Potter is nothing like what he heard.

* * *

"Haven't seen the damn toad," Nnoitra sighed harshly. "He epically fails at magic and believes anything his joking brothers tell him. Quit being a damn show-off. No one like show-offs. Now beat it, bitch."

On the verge of tears, the bushy-haired girl known as Hermione Granger left the compartment, slamming the door closed.

Both boys were silent. "Damn, haven't had that happen in a while," Nnoitra comments with a smirk. "Weak little bitch can't handle a little insult." Even softhearted Nel could handle that.

* * *

The boat ride, boring. The castle, enchanting.

"Meh, seen better," Nnoitra grumbled, crossing his arms.

* * *

A talking hat. No, a _singing_ hat. And he's supposed to wear the ratty thing so it can yell out one word and tell him where he's supposed to go.

Fun.

Please, do note the sarcasm.

Soon his name was called and he approached the talking/singing hat. He can hear all the whispers around him, commenting on his appearance (since he hardly looks a thing like his father) and can see one of the teachers, the Headmaster, lean forward a bit in interest. Nnoitra rolled his eyes and sat on the stool before the hat was put on his head.

He hates the fact that either he is still small enough for the brim of the hat to cover his eyes, or the hat's just that big. Stupid hat.

'Interesting, very interesting,' a voice comments in his mind. Not Santa Teresa. Who the hell is in his head without his permission?! 'Easy, boy. I am the Sorting Hat. Now calm down so I can properly place you. Hmm. You are very difficult. Smart, but only battle wise. Not enough for Ravenclaw. Loyalty to none but those whom are special to you. Hufflepuff would probably anger you. Cunning, but not like a serpent, so Slytherin is out. Quick to fight and brash about it, yet not in the way of the Gryffindors.'

_You mind hurrying it up?_

'Very well then. I think you would do well in Slytherin, but I believe you would try to strangle them in their sleep. So it better be…' "GRYFFINDOR!"

The table of red and gold exploded in applause. Nnoitra yanked the hat off his head and nearly shoved it into McGonagall's hands, not that she minded, too proud to have Harry Potter in her House. He heard and saw a pair of identical twins singing "We have Potter!" at the top of their lungs. He couldn't help but roll his eyes.

* * *

The old man is nuts. That's all there is to it.

"Aren't you hungry?" the redhead, Ron, asked him, a chicken leg in his hand.

Nnoitra raised an eyebrow at him then at the table. Where the hell did all this food come from?

He piled some onto his plate then ate at a sedated pace. Szayel was the only one to ever get him to eat slowly instead of stuffing his face. Guess the habit stuck around.

A lot of these annoying kinds kept asking him questions. He just told them to shut up and leave him alone. His narrowed eyes scanned over the line of teachers, mentally noting their personalities.

_Stick up the ass. Strict bitch. Raving madman. Freaky, paranoid fu- shit!_

His hand flew to his forehead, rubbing at his scar. The man he was observing had his back to him, talking with a man dressed in black.

"Who's that guy?" he asked, nudging a redhead's side, probably a brother of that annoying brat who won't leave him alone. Like an annoying version of Tesla, one he wants to kill.

"Oh, that's Professor Snape, Potions Professor and Head of Slytherin House," the boy answered. "But everyone knows he'd rather teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. He's been after Quirrell's job for years."

Why is it that when asked a simple question, he gets a life story?

* * *

"Fuck off, shut the hell up, and go to sleep," Nnoitra grumbled as he climbed into bed, curling up under the blankets. Ah, his one weakness. Soft, comfortable blankets.

Tesla always supplied him with thick, soft blankets.

Then Szayel stole them when he wanted Nnoitra to behave.

_Damn, rebirth sucks._

* * *

Out of habit from his past life, he was up and ready to go at the crack of dawn, while the other boys slept for another hour then groaned and grumbled as they woke. Deciding that they are a waste of time, Nnoitra left the Gryffindor Tower and headed down for breakfast.

He is one of the first students at the table, leisurely eating a few pieces of fruit and a little bit of meat. One complaint he had about the food, too greasy. He had taken to making his own bits of food when at home simply because the food that the Dursleys' ate was mainly grease and fat. No wonder the two walking tubs of lard can't lose any weight.

Timetables were passed out and he left, determined to find the right classroom before classes start. He may not like going to school, but damn it he wants to make an impression!

* * *

Potions class. Nnoitra thought it would be clean and pristine like Szayel's lab. Weren't scientists supposed to be obsessed with clean labs so nothing is contaminated?

The last thing he expected was for the potions class to be in a dark, dank dungeon with a greasy-haired man-bat who didn't seem to care that there is grime everywhere in the room. As Snape does roll call, Nnoitra plays with the thought of how Szayel would react to…**this**.

"Mr. Potter," Snape drawls, making Nnoitra look towards him boredly. "Our new celebrity. But I believe you will find that fame won't give you everything. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Now, being around Szayel, Nnoitra does know what those are (though paid little attention) and does know the effect of them combined. So he can answer this question quite easily.

But, this is Nnoitra.

"I don't care if you give me detention or take away points," he growled. "Cause listen here, asshole! I'm a fucking eleven-year-old kid who is in his first class of this subject and doesn't know a damn thing because his fucking asshole of a teacher decides to ask advanced question instead of doing his motherfucking job and teach! So fuck off and do your goddamn job and leave me the hell alone! I don't know you, so I didn't do anything to make you so pissed at me before now. So whatever stick is up your ass, pull it the hell out and shut up!"

Snape (as well as the rest of the class) were stunned into silence at his outburst. Then Snape glared at him. Nnoitra glared back. Snape's glare faltered little, but enough to make Nnoitra smirk.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for your language and your cheek, Potter," he said. "As well as detention for the rest of the week. I expect to see you down here as soon as supper is over to serve your detention."

Oh, a battle of wills, huh?

Nnoitra got to his feet, and even at his impressive height for his age, he still had to look up at Snape. "Well then," he chuckled. "I hope that during these detentions, you'll fucking grow the hell up and by tonight, pull that stick out of your ass before I do it for you. Because I ain't gonna tolerate shit."

"Twenty more points of Gryffindor, Potter," Snape added.

"Like that's gonna bug me!"

"Harry, stop it," the bushy-haired girl next to him attempted to order.

"Shut the fuck up, no one likes you," he commented, dropping back into his seat. Not out of obedience or surrender, but because he just feels like it.

He also noticed Snape didn't take points off for his comment.

* * *

Scrub cauldrons clean? Write lines?

"Do I look like a damn servant? Or a scholar?"

"You will not leave until you're done."

"Oh yeah? Let's see who lasts longer."

Needless to say, Nnoitra won that battle.

* * *

Flying is more Emospada's style, but wouldn't hurt to try, right?

Turns out, he's quite a natural, and with his brashness, also a little dangerous.

Neville fell off his out-of-control broomstick (why are they flying on these things?) and broke his wrist, meaning the flying instructor had to take him to the Hospital Wing. Also meaning, trouble is stirred.

Malfoy picked something up, commenting about it belonging to Longbottom, then proceeded to insult the other boy while he is away.

Now Nnoitra had his fair share of throwing insults around, and then some, but at least he always said it to the person's face. And if he got in trouble, he didn't go whining about how his 'father' would hear about it. He isn't a coward and this kid is pissing him off.

So he chased Malfoy around in the air, Malfoy tossed the object, Nnoitra shot by him and straight down (bumping into him as he passed), arm stretched out and fingers wide. Then the item is in his hand and he pulled up, missing the ground by a hair.

_Damn, what a rush!_

"Harry Potter!"

_Mother fu-_

* * *

Seeker? For the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Once everything was explained to him, he firmly stated he wanted to be a Beater, then was told they already had a pair of Beaters but needed a Seeker.

He only gave in because he hopes for more adrenaline rushes. He doesn't get those much anymore.

* * *

A midnight duel? With little redhead fanboy as his second?

Not like he'd need one. He'd just punch the little fucker in the nose and call it a night.

* * *

"Don't need you and you're just annoying," Nnoitra snarled at the two following him.

"Well too bad, because all Wizarding duels need a second," Ron replied. "Practically a law."

"Don't need you to fight my fight," he snarled then look at the bushy-haired girl. "Name and what the hell are you thinking?"

"My name is Hermione Granger," she huffed, seemingly annoyed that he didn't know her name. "And I'm trying to stop you two from losing our House anymore points."

Nnoitra actually stopped in his tracks and looked at her. "You haven't noticed by now I don't give a fuck about that shit?" he asked. "And seriously, that's you're only reason?!"

* * *

One: He hates Malfoy, chickening out on him and sending the old man on him. Coward.

Two: He hates the Poltergeist.

Three: Why the hell is there a giant three-headed dog standing over a trap door in a locked room on the third floor in a castle full of idiotic children?

Four: That chick Hermione has her priorities royally screwed up.

* * *

Halloween. Time of candy and ghosts. Nnoitra hated candy. It put too much fat on the body too quickly and messed him up big time, not to mention some of it would always stick to his teeth and he enjoys having no cavities, thank you. True he will divulge himself once in a while, mainly out of curiosity, but now…no. Not to mention, some wizard candy is just messed up. Cockroach Clusters? Blood-Flavored Lollipops? Really? Gross.

The door banged open and Quirrell came running down between two tables, yelling about a troll in the dungeons then proceeded to faint.

_Seriously? Over dramatic._

Students then burst into screams of terror, throwing their sugary substances onto the tables before Dumbledore ordered silence then for the Prefects to escort the students to their common rooms.

Nnoitra, though, wanted a good fight. And he gets a troll!

With a wide grin, he broke free from the other students, Ron following him. Why? He doesn't know. Probably to try and stop him.

He smelled it before he saw it. It smelled worse than Szayel's lab after a failed experiment. He rounded a corner and there it is, in a doorway with twitching little ears. "Shit, who shrunk that thing's head?" he commented as the creature slowly entered into the room.

"We should close it in the room, lock the door," Ron suggested.

Nnoitra looked at him like he was insane. "And pass this up?" he asked with a cocky smirk then ran into the bathroom. Later on, he will decide that without a proper weapon, it was a pretty stupid idea.

* * *

Now the know-it-all chick is following him. He sighed. At least she knows she isn't above him in anything except grades. Who knows? She might be useful.

* * *

Quidditch. The only reason he joined the team was because of the danger possibilities. Seriously, this is better than football. There is little protection, they are flying on sticks, and there are two flying balls that are determined to kill them.

Now that is what he calls a game.

Added bonus, he got the newest and fastest broom made yet, courtesy of his Head of House.

Hello awesome rushes.

* * *

Most of the game was boring to him. He mainly just flew around, eyes searching for that golden glint in the sunlight, the annoying Slytherin Seeker following him. Sure, he saw it once…then that asshole knocked him off course by nearly hitting him.

He knows he's being hypocritical since he remembers blind-siding quite a few people in Hueco Mundo, but they were adults! This is a damn kid!

So he hovered, merely leaning away when a Bludger flew by him, then his broom started to rise. The hell?

He could feel it twitching as it rose higher into the air, away from the game, then it started to roll. Anyone else would be scared to death about falling off.

But again, this is Nnoitra.

He whooped. In joy. And got some very weird looks.

He merely just finds it funny that a household cleaning product is trying to kill him, and is enjoying the ride. He was slightly disappointed when it stopped rolling before it suddenly jerked. Caught by surprise, he fell off, but managed to hold on with one hand. Many students started to scream.

He noticed the broom continued to vibrate and when anyone came close, it got higher. He also noticed the asshole that tried to hit him had scored five times without being noticed since everyone was fixated on him.

With a smirk, Nnoitra reached up and grabbed his broom with his other hand, tightly gripping the wood. He tried to pull himself up, but the broom would lurch and he would just drop again, hands holding firm.

Then the broom stopped and he heard a yelp in the distance. Curious, he looked over at the stands to see Snape's robes on fire. With a shrug, he flung a leg over the broomstick, straddling it once more, and shot back down to rejoin the game.

After a few seconds, something flew into his mouth. Once close enough to the ground, he jumped off the broom and landed on his feet and one hand, keeping the other hand on the broom so it wouldn't fly off. Tucking the broom under his arm, he opened his mouth and spat out a golden ball.

Well, that's one way to win a game.

* * *

He doesn't know why, but he was dragged along after the game. Ron and Hermione would not listen to his protests to join Hagrid for tea right after the game. Then they told him everything.

"It was Snape," Ron explained. "Hermione and I saw him. He was cursing your broomstick, muttering, and he wouldn't take his eyes off you."

"Glad to know I can still piss people off so well," Nnoitra commented, earning incredulous look from the other three. "What?"

The talk turned into a debate as to why Snape would try to kill Harry, then the dog was mentioned.

"How do you know about Fluffy?"

…_Fluffy?_

* * *

_Nicholas Flamel. Why does that sound so familiar?_

Oh well, he'd worry about it after the holidays.

Though his two Fraccion-in-training seem unwilling to drop it for later.

* * *

"We'll keep looking and we'll send you the damn owl, now get on the damn train and beat it," Nnoitra practically ordered.

Hermione huffed, but left anyway.

They're getting used to his language and attitude.

* * *

A sweater and homemade fudge, a whittled flute from the giant man that sounded like an owl, and a fifty pence from his aunt and uncle, along with a note promising not to touch his other presents left in his room until he gets home. _Damn straight_. Hermione's seemed more like she didn't know what to get him, so settled on chocolate frogs.

The last parcel puzzled him. The note merely said it belonged to his father and now is returned to him. He opened it up and saw a silvery cloak. Ron seemed fascinated by it.

"I've heard of those!" he stated. "If that's what I think it is – they're really rare and really valuable."

Nnoitra rose and put it on, then looked in the mirror.

"Holy shit! Where's my body?!"

* * *

No one every said he follows rules. If something says 'restricted'…he's going for it. That was the second thing Aizen learned about Nnoitra. Never say something is forbidden or restricted. The first thing he learned is that Nnoitra is a bloodthirsty nut.

Though most restricted things he came across did not have defenses that screamed at him…literally.

He slammed the book closed with a curse and put it back, then left the library as Filch came running in. Not paying attention to his surrounding, he ran.

* * *

Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

_I show not your face but your hearts desire._

Are wizards even able to produce something hard to translate? Nnoitra stared at the frame then looked at his reflection.

_What_ _the_…

There he is, full-grown Arrancar in full Espada outfit, Santa Teresa over his shoulder and wide grin on his face. Tesla behind him, small smile on his face. Szayel right next to him, Nnoitra's arm over his shoulder, holding the taller man's hand over his chest, amber eyes gleaming with madness.

Hypnotized, Nnoitra reached out and ran his fingers over Szayel's face, though felt only cold glass.

"Never thought I'd miss you two so much, you more so, Szayel," he muttered. Szayel smiled at him. "Fuck, stop making me so damn mushy!"

Szayel only chuckled behind his hand.

* * *

He went again the next night, drinking in the image of his lover and his Fraccion. The only people he ever let close to him. Szayel, the only one who made him feel complete, whole. Tesla, the only one he would actually call friend. Sometimes, he regretted the way he treated him.

"Back again, Harry?" a aged voice asked him.

Quickly, Nnoitra rose to his feet and spun around, ready for a fight. He didn't relax a bit when he saw the Headmaster sitting on an unused desk against the wall.

_How the hell did he get there without me noticing him?_

"I assume you, like so many others before you, have discovered the power of the Mirror or Esired," Dumbledore said, motioning to the mirror.

"Shows us what we want the most," he replied.

"Exactly," Dumbledore said with a nod of his head. "Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they've seen, or driven mad by it, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible."

"My image was real, once," Nnoitra stated. "It may never happen again. I don't know. I can hope, I guess."

With a soft sigh, Dumbledore spoke again. "The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow and I must ask you not to go looking for it again," he said lowly.

* * *

A tiny chance, but one all the same. "It mentions him on this card I got from a Chocolate Frog," Nnoitra stated, tossing the card over to Ron, who read it out loud.

Hermione then gasped and ran off, probably to the library. When she returned, she carried a large tome and said she checked it out before for some light reading.

_Light? Right, and I'm Luppi._

"Nicholas Flamel," she whispered dramatically, "is the only known maker of the Sorcerer's Stone!"

"The what?" Ron asked.

Nnoitra scoffed and shook his head. Hell if he knows.

"Honestly, don't you two ever read?" she asked.

"Do you ever not?" Nnoitra shot back, twirling a knife between his fingers.

* * *

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell," Snape said.

"I-I don't what you-" Quirrell stuttered.

"You know exactly what I mean."

_Well this is interesting._ Nnoitra remained in his spot in the tree and simply watched.

* * *

Hagrid hatching a baby dragon? No problem.

Being seen by Malfoy? Problem.

Him reporting to McGonagall for all of them being out after curfew and about Hagrid's baby dragon? Problem.

McGonagall giving all of them – including Malfoy- detention for being out past curfew?

_Karma, bitch._

* * *

"Detention in the dark, creepy forest," Nnoitra said in awe, looking around then gave out a low whistle while Hagrid explained what they are trying to do. Someone's attacking unicorns and killing them. With a grin, Nnoitra looked at Malfoy. "Man, if something is hungry, crazy, and dangerous enough to attack a unicorn, imagine how quickly it can snatch one of us up and gobble us whole!"

Malfoy turned white and let out a whimper.

Nnoitra cackled in glee. It's too much fun picking on Daddy's Boy.

They reached the point where they had to split up. Thinking the dog would be more help, Malfoy claimed him. Not wanting to lose his bit of entertainment, Nnoitra volunteered to go with Malfoy. Hagrid took the other two.

Shortly after, Nnoitra and Draco came across a fallen unicorn with a cloaked figure drinking its blood.

Draco whimpered.

Nnoitra pulled a Nnoitra.

"Yo! Fucker!"

The hooded head rose, silver blood gleaming on its lips. It glided over, Malfoy already running away screaming, but Nnoitra stayed his ground. He sneered at the creature as it got closer, silently daring it to do anything.

A galloping sound echoed through the air from behind Nnoitra, making the figure draw back.

* * *

"So Snape is after the Stone for immortality?" Nnoitra asked in confusion, Forbidden Forest Detention story told and theories tossed around. "He looks normal enough to me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione huffed.

"Do you really think there would not be some kind of shitty disfiguration after drinking unicorn blood?" Nnoitra shot back. "I ain't a genius, and I ain't gonna claim to be one, but the bits of face I saw out there don't match that fucker at all."

"Oh?" Hermione scoffed, lining facts up in her mind. "It's obvious he's up to something. He tried to jinx your broom."

"That was a fun ride."

"Tried to get past that Cerberus and got bit by it."

"Probably deserved it."

"Oh will you stop that!"

"Use that oversized brain of your for one second," Nnoitra sighed heavily. "No one is doing shit because Dumbledore is here." How he hated saying that.

* * *

Dumbledore's gone, summoned to the Ministry.

_Well that bit me in the ass faster than I thought._

* * *

"You're not coming," Nnoitra said slowly, as though speaking to someone of lower intelligence. Which Hermione did not appreciate.

"Yes we are!" she huffed. "What if you need help?"

"Not interested."

He lost that fight. How? He'll never know.

* * *

A harp playing in the corner already had the dog asleep, and kept it asleep. Without a care in the world, Nnoitra shoved the massive paw off the trapdoor, flipped it open, and then jumped down without a word. Hermione and Ron quickly followed him, not wanting to be left behind.

All three landed on something soft. "Well that was fun," Nnoitra commented, looking up. "Hell of a fall, though."

"Did you not even think about the fall before you jumped in?" Ron exclaimed in shock.

"Nope," Nnoitra replied, popping the 'p' before he felt something wrap around his stomach. "Oh, that's not good."

"Don't struggle," Hermione ordered. "It's Devil's Snare. The more you struggle, the faster it'll kill you."

"Hell, a plant that can kill!" Nnoitra exclaimed with a grin as more tendrils of the plant wrapped around him. Not too far away, Ron struggled endlessly, panicked. "Ain't nothing sane in this world!"

"What did Professor Sprout say about it?" Hermione muttered to herself. "It's likes the dark and damp…"

"Oi, dumbass," Nnoitra called. "Light a fire."

"Of course – but there's no wood!"

"HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!" Ron bellowed, full-blown panic attack. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR AREN'T YOU?!"

Nnoitra could have smacked Hermione for forgetting that tad bit of knowledge.

* * *

Flying keys. A simple broom.

A nagging feeling in his gut.

"Trap," Nnoitra scoffed, walking to the door. He inspected it for about ten seconds then walked away from it. He stopped at the other side of the room then ran back to the door. He crashed into it, throwing his full bodyweight into the wood. He, to the astonishment of his two stalkers, managed to knock it off its hinges.

"Ain't nobody got time for that shit!" Nnoitra exclaimed, jabbing a finger to the flock of winged keys. Then he looked around as the other two caught up to him. "Hey, a giant chess set."

_Aizen would love this place._

* * *

Freaking weirdo brats. One sacrifices himself to the crazy white stone queen. The other tries to get all mushy on him. He decided not to stick around and just went on ahead once Hermione had shut up. She gathered up Ron and left once he left them.

Now, Nnoitra knows he isn't bright. But it just makes no sense for Snape to be behind it all. If he was behind everything, his scar would hurt whenever Snape was around. But it didn't.

Only around… "Quirrell," he greeted, entering the room.

Quirrell gave him a small smile. "Well, you don't seem surprised to find me here," he commented.

Nnoitra chuckled lowly, shaking his head. "Never trusted the quiet ones."

* * *

"Use the boy."

The voice echoed through the room, but Nnoitra, even from his bound spot, could tell it originated from Quirrell. But where?

"Yes – Potter. Come here!" He clapped his hands and the ropes, still wrapped around him, flew to Quirrell. The professor grabbed him and stood him upright in front of the mirror. "What do you see?" he nearly demanded.

Nnoitra scoffed, looking away from the mirror. "Go fuck yourself," he growled.

Quirrell grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look in the mirror. "Tell me! What do you see?!"

Slanted eyes narrowed slightly when he saw what the image in the mirror is. Him, his Espada self, watching Szayel tinker with a blood red stone, a grin on Szayel's face. He handed it to Tesla, who stuck it into Nnoitra pocket. Just as the stone fell into the pocket of his reflection, a weight suddenly appeared in his pocket.

_Well that's different._

"What do you see, Potter?" Quirrell hissed, grabbing Nnoitra's hair and yanking it back a bit.

"I see you in pieces," he growled, jerking his head out of Quirrell's grasp then swinging his head back again, hitting the professor's nose. Quirrell released him, pressing a hand against his bleeding nose as he cried out in pain. Nnoitra managed to get the ropes off of himself and got a few feet away from Quirrell. "Bring it on, bitch!"

"Let me speak to him…" the voice said, calm. "Face-to-face."

"Master," Quirrell whimpered, his voice stuffy from the damage to his nose. "You're not strong enough."

"I have strength enough for this."

Quirrell straighten and reached up to his turban before slowly unwinding it from his head. With the turban gone from his head, Quirrell slowly turned.

"Harry Potter. We meet at last." A second face. On the back of Quirrell's head.

Nnoitra gagged. "You look like one of Szayel's failed experiments that he just tossed aside to die on it own since he couldn't find the time to do it himself," Nnoitra commented, earning a confused look. "And he's just sadistic in that way."

Cue monologue! And tempting offer. Along with a, "There is no good or evil. Only power and those too weak to seize it."

"Fuck you."

"Seize him!"

Quirrell spun around and started to run to Nnoitra. Easily, Nnoitra kicked him in the stomach then grabbed his face to throw him to the side and off balance. As soon as his hand touched his face however, Quirrell started to scream in pain.

Throwing him to the side anyway, Nnoitra noticed a large burn on Quirrell's face, right where his hand was. With a grin, Nnoitra charged him and kicked his legs out from under him. Quirrell fell flat on his back. Quickly, Nnoitra straddled him, holding him down, and wrapped his hands around the professor's throat.

Quirrell scream in pain. Voldemort yelled in fury. Soon, the burn went completely through Quirrell's throat, killing him.

With a heavy sigh echoing through the now silent chamber, Nnoitra got to his feet and started to walk away. He paused when he felt a ripple of reiatsu in the air.

He turned in time to see a wisp fly through him. A suffocating feeling overwhelmed him and he fell to the ground, loosing conciousness in seconds.

* * *

He woke to white. Los Noches? Was all that just a freaky dream?

"Good afternoon, Harry," someone said by his side.

_Ah, damn it all to Aizen!_

"Where the hell am I?" he asked, sitting up a little bit.

"In the Hospital Wing," Dumbledore answered. "Naturally."

Nnoitra groaned. He hated going to infirmaries. He glanced to the side then nearly jumped off in shock. A mountain of candy by his bed.

"Tokens from your admirers," the old man explained.

"Admirers?" Nnoitra scoffed with a sneer. Too much candy. He only indulges once in a while. Preferably once a year.

"What happened down there between you and Quirrell is a secret," Dumbledore assured. "So naturally, the whole school knows."

"Alright, I'm gonna cut to the damn chase here," Nnoitra growled. "How the hell did the Stone end up in my pocket? Why did Quirrell burn when I touched him with bare fucking skin? What'd you do with that Stone anyway?"

"Ah, well," Dumbledore chuckled. "One question at a time, shall we? The Mirror was enchanted with one of my own defenses. Whoever wishes to find the Stone –find it but not use it – would be able to get it. Otherwise they would see themselves with gold or drinking the Elixir of Life.

"As for why Quirrell could not touch you, it has to do with your mother's sacrifice. Your mother died to save you, and if there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love."

"Love?" Nnoitra snorted.

"Yes, Harry. Love. He did not realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you has left its own mark. Not a visible mark, but in your very skin. Quirrell, full of so many negative emotions and sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It is agony to touch a person marked by something so good."

"So 'love' basically saved my ass," Nnoitra chuckled. "Man, you're full of it. It's just a useless emotion for useless attachments."

"Is that truly what you think, Harry?" Dumbledore asked. "What of those two you saw in your reflection in the Mirror?"

Szayel. Tesla. "I don't gotta tell you shit about them!" he snarled defensively. "How do you even know about that, anyway?!"

"Calm yourself, Harry, lest Madam Pomfrey has me thrown out," Dumbledore attempted to placate. "Now as for the Stone itself, well, Nicholas and I discussed it and decided it was best for its destruction."

_Well, damn._

"And they're fine with that?"

"Of course. After all, to the well-organized mind, death is just the next great adventure."

_You have no idea._

* * *

Amazing how House points can either make students feel superior or bring them down. Slytherin won, of course.

Nnoitra only scoffed and ate a bit of beef as Dumbledore announced the amount of points to all Houses, the Hall decorated in green and silver. "In fourth place is Gryffindor with three hundred and twelve points. In third place is Hufflepuff with three hundred and fifty-two points. Ravenclaw has four hundred and twenty-six. Slytherin, four hundred and seventy-two."

Idly, Nnoitra wonders how did they end up with twos. He's only seen points taken or rewarded by fives or tenths.

He caught Malfoy's smug expression, but only grinned and flipped him the finger. Malfoy seemed to sputter indignantly.

"Yes, yes, well done Slytherin," Dumbledore said. "However!" The Hall fell silent. "Recent events must be taken into account. I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes…

"First – To Mr. Ronald Weasley for the best played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years. I award Gryffindor house fifty points." Gryffindors cheered at the reward and Percy could be heard bragging to other prefects.

Again, Nnoitra just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Second – to Miss Hermione Granger… for the use of cool logic in the face of fire, I award Gryffindor house fifty points."

Gryffindors cheered again, happy to be up by one hundred points. Hermione ducked her head and Nnoitra suspected she was hiding tears.

"Third – to Mr. Harry Potter." The Hall fell into silence once more. "For pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house sixty points."

_Old man must be good at math in his head._

Four hundred and seventy-two points. Tied with Slytherin. To him, still a dumb competition, but he wants to see Malfoy cry now.

Dumbledore managed to calm the cheering house down into silence one more time. "There are all kinds of courage," he continued. "It takes a great deal a bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom."

_And there's the shock and disbelief. I want to see tears._

He remembered Neville trying to stop him and his two stalkers from leaving that night. He also remembered Hermione stopping him with a spell that made him as stiff as a board and fall over.

Three out of four tables erupted in cheers, glad to see Slytherin lose the House Cup. Dumbledore clapped his hands then the green and silver changed to red and gold, signifying Gryffindor's triumph.

All Nnoitra wants right now is silence and a bit of food.

And to see Malfoy cry, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon.

* * *

Before he boarded the train, Hagrid handed him a photo album. A little curious, he looked through it as Hagrid went on about contacting old friends of Nnoitra's parents for a few pictures of them.

He wasn't sure why, but seeing the pictures of his parents, smiling and happy, left a pleasant feeling in his stomach. "Can't believe I'm saying this," he sighed, looking up at Hagrid. "Thanks."

"Of course," Hagrid said with a smile. "Just try to watch that language of yours."

Nnoitra grinned and climbed onto the train. Before it moved, he yelled out at the top of his lungs "FUCK!"

* * *

"Try to have a good summer, Harry," Hermione said, watching Nnoitra's uncle like she could not believe someone can be so unpleasant.

"Well I know I'm gonna have some fun," Nnoitra chuckled. "Dumdasses don't know we're not supposed to do magic outside of school."

_**Chapter Ends**_

**I suppose we can call this the test run chapter. If it turns out people like it, then I will continue it.**

**I hope I kept Nnoitra in character. He just seems like the type of person who could care less about authority figures and swears every chance he gets. That, and he likes to piss people off.**

**He just seems like that type of person to me.**

**Anyway. Review and let me know what you think! ^^**


	2. Year Two

**Well I'm surprised. Not many reviews, but a lot of favorites and alerts for this story. It's liked more than I thought. Glad all of you like it! ^^**

**Now this chapter, we will have a couple of other people show up. Mainly because they will keep Nnoitra a little calmer and happier. He kind of needs it for what he's about to go through.**

**Probably not as funny as the last one. A bit of serious stuff going on with Nnoitra.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Harry Potter.**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Zanpakutou Speaking**

**For the sake of this chapter **_"Parseltongue"_

_**Chapter Start**_

The heat of the sun beat down on his sweaty back. The grass soft and flat under his hands. Sweat slid down his face and dropped off the tip of his nose and chin as hair clung to his face. He would lower until his face was close to the grass than rise as far as his arms would let him, muscles rippling under his skin. Inhale, exhale. Down, up.

"Potter," his aunt called to him.

Nnoitra growled, placing his left arm onto his bare back and continued doing his push-ups one-handed. "What?!" he snapped. He does not like it when his exercises are interrupted.

"Vernon is having some important people over tonight for dinner," Petunia explained quickly.

A scoff escaped him. "Well count me out of that shit," he stated, not pausing in his exercise. "I'll stay up in my room. Keep the damn noise to a minimum." Swiftly, he switched arms and continued.

Petunia went back into the house without saying another word.

* * *

Exercises done for the day, finishing around late afternoon or early evening, Nnoitra went back into the house for a glass of water. When he entered the kitchen, he could hear the Dursleys' going over their 'schedule' for the evening. Bored, Nnoitra went to the living room to see the trio all dressed up. Petunia looked more like a stiff worm in her salmon pink cocktail dress. Vernon and Dudley just looked like whale-sized penguins

"You look like you're stuck-up assholes trying to brown-nose gullible people into doing your shit," Nnoitra commented, sipping at his cold water.

Glancing at him momentarily, Vernon went on. "Now, Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be-"

"In the lounge," Petunia said with a smile. "Waiting to welcome them graciously into our home."

"More like shit hole," Nnoitra muttered, smirking when Vernon went a little red.

"Good, good. Now Dudley?"

"I'll be waiting by the door," Dudley said with a simpering smile. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Mason."

"So long as you don't eat them," Nnoitra chuckled. "Like you do everything else."

Vernon went a little redder, but inhaled deeply and continued on. "Excellent, Dudley," he went on. "I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, and pour them drinks. At eight-fifteen-"

"I'll announce dinner," Petunia finished.

"Grease, fat, and more lard!" Nnoitra cackled. "Love how so much shit you guys got planned can possible end so epically. Well, keep the noise down. I'm going to my room. I won't disturb your little boring as hell tea party so long as you don't disturb me. Sound like a deal, Vernon?"

Red-faced once more, Vernon nodded. "Very well," he replied.

"Good," Nnoitra said, turning around and going into the kitchen to deposit his empty glass. "Disturb my peace, and you'll regret it. I'll make you look like the biggest asshole in the world!"

Glass in kitchen, Nnoitra headed upstairs seconds before knocks came from the door. He could hear Vernon greet the Masons before he went into his room and silently closed the door.

_Now for some hopeful peace and quiet so I can try and communicate with – what the hell is that thing?_

Bouncing on his bed was a scrawny creature wearing a pillowcase of all things, large bat-like ears and large green eyes staring at him pitifully.

_Holy shit! Emospada's been reincarnated as a mutant_!

"Harry Potter!" the thing squeaked its high-pitched voice as it bowed to him. "Such an honor it is!"

"Ah, you're not Ulquiorra reincarnated as a mutant, are you?" Nnoitra warily asked, pointing at the thing with a skeptical look on his face.

"No, sir. Dobby is its name, sir," the creature replied. "Just Dobby. Dobby the house elf."

Nnoitra let out a sigh of relief. He didn't hate nor like Ulquiorra, but even he wouldn't want him reincarnated as something like this. He would have to kill the poor bastard out of mercy.

"Okay, what the hell is a house elf doing in my room, bouncing on my damn bed?" he growled lowly, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

"Oh, yes, sir," Dobby earnestly said. "Dobby has come to tell you, sir…it is difficult, sir… Dobby wonders where to begin…"

"Well sit your ass down, off my bed, and start from the beginning," Nnoitra said, waving a hand to his chair.

"Sit down!" Dobby wailed.

He was quickly silenced by Nnoitra's hand. "Hey, I don't feel like interacting with those assholes downstairs more than I need to," he growled. "So do me a favor. Shut the hell up!"

Dobby nodded his head slowly before Nnoitra's hand was removed from his mouth. "Dobby apologizes, sir," he said. "Dobby has just never been asked to sit down by a wizard – like an equal."

Nnoitra held a single finger up. "I'm gonna stop that thought process right there," he stated, glaring at the little creature. "You are not my equal. I have no equal. You know why? Because I'm the fucking strongest there is."

_Except for a select few… I would have beaten them eventually._

"Now why are you here?"

"Dobby has come to deliver a warning, sir. Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"

"Give me one damn good reason not to."

"There is a plot, sir," Dobby continued, looking around in paranoia like he was expecting someone to show up and beat him. "Harry Potter must stay where he is safe. He is too great, too good, to lose. If Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts, he will be in mortal danger."

Nnoitra just stared at the elf. "You obvious know nothing about me because that just sounded like a damn good reason to go back," he stated with a grin.

"No, no, no!" Dobby yelled, making Nnoitra flinch.

"Shut it!"

"There is a plot, Harry Potter! A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!"

"Yeah, I'm going," Nnoitra chuckled. "Terrible plots? Mortal danger? Sounds fun."

"But-"

"Shut up," Nnoitra growled, slapping a hand on the house elf's mouth again. "Now you listen here. I hate it here. It's dull. It's boring. School, from last year's experience, is the only place where I've had any fun."

* * *

Turns out, the reason as to why he had no mail from his two stalkers (not that he was really complaining, they were really annoying) was Dobby stopping him from getting his mail. The little creature thought that if Nnoitra didn't think he had friends, he wouldn't want to go back to school. Then he tried to bribe Nnoitra.

Give his word that he won't go back to school, he can have his letters.

Now Nnoitra really doesn't care about his two stalkers, but he does care about the fact that things that are his are being kept from him.

"Get back here, you little fucker, so I can wring your neck!" he snarled, chasing Dobby down the hall and down the stairs.

He could hear his relatives and their guests in the dining room. Ignoring them, he went into the kitchen and froze. Petunia's pudding was floating in the air, Dobby crouched in a corner on top of a cupboard.

"Fucking try it," he dared, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.

Taking it as a threat, Dobby tried again. "Harry Potter must promise not to go back to school!"

Nnoitra glared. "Fuck. You."

The pudding fell. A scream sounded from the dining room. Dobby disappeared with a crack.

Vernon stormed into the kitchen and saw the pudding splattered all over the place, Nnoitra uncaringly covered in it.

"Even if I told you the damn truth, you wouldn't fucking believe me," he pointed out. "So what the point?"

With that, he went back upstairs, leaving a large mess (that was completely not his fault in any way) and returning to his room for clean clothes he could change into after his shower. He could hear Vernon placate the visitors about him. Meeting new people disturbs his nephew, so they kept him upstairs. Well, it isn't a total lie.

An owl flew through his open bedroom window and dropped the letter it was carrying on his bed.

_Eh, shit can wait. I need a shower._

One shower later, Nnoitra finally read the letter, a simple warning saying any other magic preformed by him will cause him to be expelled.

"Assholes can't get their shit right," he commented, tossing the letter to the side.

* * *

A faint voice called to him, pulling him from his sleep.

_Santa Teresa?_

"Harry!" the voice called again.

…_I swear to Aizen, that better not be who I think that is._

He rose and stretched his long arms before getting up and looking out his window. A flying car. With his stalker Ron and two identical teens with him. He kind of likes those two. They're funny.

"All right, Harry?" one of them, George he believes, asked as soon as he opened his window.

"What's been going on?" Ron started. "Why haven't you been answering my letters? I've asked you to stay about twelve times, and then Dad came home and said you'd got an official warning for using magic in front of Muggle-"

"How does your dad know about that? By the way, it was a fucking house elf with shit for brains."

"Oh, well, Dad works for the Ministry," Ron continued. Then his face scrunched up in confusion. "Where are your glasses?"

"Contacts," he replied with a shrug. "Glasses got annoying. I threw them into the fireplace as soon as I got these things."

"See, Harry doesn't really need a break out," Fred pointed out.

"So, Harry-" George started.

"Would you be interested-"

"In staying at-"

"Our humble abode-"

"For the rest of-"

"The summer?" they finished together.

Nnoitra grinned. "You guys are fucking awesome," he stated. "Sure. Place here is boring anyway. Assholes ain't gonna miss me. Let me just get my shit together. Can one of you guys get Teresa? Less for me to carry and less time wasted."

Teresa hooted in annoyance. She is not baggage, thank you very much!

* * *

It was tiny and looked like it would be cramped. Several stories high, he'll give it that, but still kind of small.

"It's not much," Ron stated as they got out of the car. "But it's home."

Nnoitra remained silent. No need to agree with the idiot.

Fred started to explain the plan to his brothers when Nnoitra noticed a woman marching up to them. Though short and plump, she sent shivers down his spine at the moment. "Pissed off madre," he said.

"So!" she snapped, fists on her hips and making the other three boys jump. "Have you any idea how worried I've been?"

"Sorry, Mum, but see-" one of the twins started, but was cut off.

"Bed empty! No note! Car gone! You could have died! You could have been seen!"

"Yeah, they were pretty stupid pulling that shit," Nnoitra agreed as he opened Teresa's cage, letting her happily fly in the air. "Just for the record, I didn't ask them to do it."

"Well, of course I don't blame you, Harry, dear," Mrs. Weasley told him softly, making Nnoitra flinched.

Only one person ever got away with calling him that…and mainly because it led to kinky sex afterwards. Chains and whips are child's play compared to what Szayel used to do to him.

"Come in and have a spot of breakfast," she told him, leading him into the house. She looked over her shoulder at her three younger sons. "Just you wait until your father gets home!"

* * *

"Your sons flew that car to Harry's house and back last night," Mrs. Weasley told her husband.

"Did you really?" Mr. Weasley asked in excitement. "How'd it go? I-I mean," he coughed, his wife swatting him with a glare. "That was very wrong of you boys. Very wrong indeed."

_Kind of obvious as to whom wears the pants in this relationship._

* * *

It was sunny when the Hogwarts letters came in, along with a list of their supplies needed. Nnoitra noticed one thing, though. Most of the books are by a Gilderoy Lockhart.

This can mean one of two things.

One, their new teacher is a fan of this guy.

Or two, and he dreads two, the man himself is teaching and he's an egomaniac.

"Well there's only one place to get all of this," Mrs. Weasley said, looking over the lists. "Diagon Alley."

Moments later, they were all lined up in front of the fireplace. The Weasleys wore their robes, but Nnoitra wanted to wear something more comfortable. So he wore black slacks with a red long-sleeved T-shirt and a black hoodie over that. Black steel-toed boots adorned his feet, reaching up halfway to his knees. Ron tried to get him in a robe, but he refused.

Persistently.

"We're running low, Arthur," Mrs. Weasley said, looking into a flowerpot. "We'll have to buy some more today. Ah, well. Guests first! After you, Harry, dear!"

Nnoitra held up one finger. "Stop calling me that. I link that word to some very unusual memories and I really don't want to link those memories to you," he said. "No offense. It's just those memories are special, and I would hate to have ties elsewhere concerning them." He held up his second finger. "What the hell is that and how do I fucking use it? I was raised by dumb as hell Muggles."

She huffed at his language but brushed it off, probably got a warning from her youngest son about him, then started to explain. Take a pinch, get into the fireplace, say where he wants to go, and throw the ashes down.

Expecting him to be skeptical, she had Ron show him an example. Ron held his hand in front of him then yelled "Diagon Alley!" He threw the ashes down and was engulfed in green fire, gone once the fire subsided.

"You must speak very, very clearly," Mrs. Weasley tried to warn him as he grabbed a bit of the ashes and jumped into the fireplace.

It looks easy enough with the chance of something going wrong. And knowing his current life, a lot of stuff goes wrong very quickly. He isn't looking forward to possibly getting burned, but it still looks like fun.

* * *

_I love how everything goes wrong when I am around._

He definitely ended up in the wrong place. It was dark and dusty, creepy items scattered around him. With a shrug, he walked out of the shop and nearly bumped into Malfoy.

Both Malfoy and the older man by him, whom Nnoitra assumed is his father (they look way too alike), stare at him in shock.

"Potter?" Malfoy spoke with a sneer.

"Bitch," Nnoitra replied with a grin. "Just came out of the wrong fireplace is all. First time using…what's that shit call again? Anyway, fun like hell, wrong damn fireplace, I am fucking leaving."

He brushed past Malfoy and anyone else that came across him until he saw a sign directing him to Diagon Alley.

* * *

"Harry!" a voice called out before someone grabbed a hold of him, another body pressing against his side.

"Get the hell off me!" he snapped, glaring at Hermione Granger.

"Well sorry!" she snapped back. "I'm just relieved to see you're alright! I haven't heard from you all summer, not a single response to the letters I sent you! What happened to your glasses?"

"Contacts," he answered, walking through the crowd. "Easier to manage."

"Well we better go find the Weasleys," she stated. "Mrs. Weasley has been frantic, worrying about you. Not that you care!"

"Finally caught on, have you?"

* * *

He didn't want to go into the bookstore. It was packed with people, all wanting to get their chance to meet Gilderoy Lockhart. Hermione, of course, was excited to see the man who had written a majority of their schoolbooks.

_I get the feeling he's the type of guy I wanna punch in the face…_

He just closed his eyes and leaned against a wall, not interested in meeting the guy. He retreated into his mind, trying the same thing he had been all summer.

**-ra!**

His eyes snapped open. He knows that voice.

**- ter Nnoi-!**

_Santa Teresa?_

"It can't be Harry Potter?" someone asked, a bit loudly.

Nnoitra scowled. He was so close! He could hear her!

"Harry Potter!" another exclaimed even louder before a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder and he was pushed over to Lockhart. The blonde man wrapped an arm around Nnoitra, holding the younger to him.

_Fucking pedo!_

Ignoring Nnoitra's expression, Lockhart simply told him, "Smile, Harry. Together, you and I make the front page."

Deciding to just make Lockhart look like a fool, Nnoitra grabbed his arm and twisted out of Lockhart's grip then pushed him down to the desk in front of him with one hand.

"I just don't associate with pedophiles," he commented with a grin. "Don't fucking touch me. Every. Again!" With a final twist of the blonde man's arm, Nnoitra finally let him go.

He noted with amusement that he did that with perfect timing. The photographer got that picture.

Still grinning to himself, he attempted to leave the store before hearing Lockhart announce he would be teaching at Hogwarts.

_Why is it that when I'm right about something, it's the thing that pisses me off?_

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" a recognizable voice called out.

Nnoitra looked up to see Malfoy on the second floor of the store.

"Famous Harry Potter," Malfoy continued. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page!"

"Why, yes, I did enjoy hurting that fucker," Nnoitra stated with a grin. "And I will enjoy hurting you if you don't stop pissing me off."

"You don't scare me, Potter!" he blonde boy stated, crossing his arms. "My father is on the Board and can easily get you tossed out of school if you try anything."

"Leave him alone!" another person broke into the conversation.

Nnoitra looked over with narrowed eyes. He doesn't need some little girl defending him.

"Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" Malfoy teased.

"First of all," Nnoitra sighed heavily, looking at Ginny. "I fight my own damn fights. You stay the hell out of my shit. Second," he looked at Draco. "I don't need a girlfriend, don't want a girlfriend. I already like someone, and you just happen to be the unfortunate little shit that I get to beat up because said person ain't here to stop me from kicking your sorry ass."

Draco paled a little bit.

* * *

Nnoitra quickly decided he does not like Lucius Malfoy. He's an older, more arrogant version of Draco.

_That apple really did not fall very far from the tree._

"Your scar is legendary," the elder Malfoy commented, using his snake head cane to move some of Nnoitra's bangs to the side. "As is the man who gave it to you."

"Voldemort was a fucking pansy, trying to kill a baby," Nnoitra commented with a chuckle. "And failed quite epically at that. Probably why I'm here and he's hiding in some pile of shit."

Malfoy tensed from that comment and pulled away. "You must be very brave to speak his name," he commented stiffly.

"Like I'm gonna be a fucking coward and shiver in fear for saying or hearing 'Voldemort'," he growled. "He's just an egotistic asshole bent on world domination. Who lost to a one-year-old. Epically."

Then Arthur Weasley showed up. "Come on, kids," he said cheerfully. "Let's go wait for Molly outside."

"Well, well, Arthur Weasley," Lucius spoke, disgust in his tone.

Mr. Weasley looked up and went rod straight. "Lucius," he greeted as stiffly as he looked.

It started out as a slight verbal battle, then Lucius Malfoy made a comment about the Weasleys sinking even lower than he thought.

To the delight of his own children and Nnoitra, he threw himself at Malfoy and thus, a fight started. Mrs. Weasley called for her husband to stop, but he kept on going. It took Hagrid showing up and grabbing the men to separate them.

Ginny's book in his hand from taking it earlier, Mr. Malfoy held it back to her harshly. "Take your book, girl, it's the best your father can give you." He pulled himself out of Hagrid's grip and marched out of the store with as much dignity as he could muster.

Nnoitra was amazed as to how much he could get after that unexpected beat-up.

"Fucking awesome," he cackled.

* * *

He can't help but find it a little suspicious. The rest of the Weasleys went through only seconds before Ron and himself. So why would the wall not let them pass just a few seconds before eleven? To him, it makes no sense.

Ron's bright idea was fly the car to school.

"Can you even fly that old piece of shit?" he asked, looking at Ron skeptically.

"No problem," the redhead reassured as he wheeled his trolley around and started heading for the exit.

* * *

Now that he knows this thing is here, he can get some proper exercise and work on his stamina and speed again.

For now, though, he wants to strangle Ron for crashing them into a tree bent on killing them.

Eventually, the car started back up again and Ron managed to reverse out of the tree and out of its reach. As Ron was telling the car 'well done', both boys were tossed out, their luggage following after them, and then their pets. Ron caught his rodent clumsily and Nnoitra easily caught Teresa, who screeched at the car in fury.

Then it sped off. Not that Nnoitra blamed it. Ron was a shitty driver. He would run too if someone drove him into an attacking tree.

"As much fun as that was," Nnoitra commented. "Let's not do that shit with a car again. It limits the movements."

"You want to go through that again?!" Ron squeaked, pointing harshly at the tree.

"Hell yeah," Nnoitra replied with a nod and a grin. "That was fun!"

* * *

They missed the feast. They missed the Sorting. Snape finds them first. Now he's gone to find Dumbledore and McGonagall, the people with the 'happy power' to expel both boys from school.

Ron paled and internally panicked. Nnoitra just kicked up his legs, leaned back, and closed his eyes. Might as well do something productive while he waits for his fate to be decided.

**-tra!**

_I can hear you. Faintly._

**Y- re-ber m- n-?**

_I can barely hear you!_

The door banged open, making him jump in surprise. _Damn it!_ McGonagall walked in, looking angrier than Nnoitra remembers her ever being. Granted he only knew her for a year, but he had seen her mad plenty of times.

* * *

They got off with a slap on the wrist. Dumbledore writing to their families. The Dursleys' won't care. They'd probably be disappointed that he wasn't killed. As well as a detention for their troubles.

Snape was pissed. Murderously so.

They had to eat in that little room and went straight to their new dorm. Hermione got to them when they were outside the portrait hole, then started to lecture them.

"Shut the fucking hell up before I sow your damn mouth shut!" Nnoitra snapped. "I am tired. That fucking tree left me a bit sore! So tell us the fucking password and lay off!"

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Nnoitra learned that the wizards can do a new thing concerning their mail. Ron got a Howler. By his mother.

And Nnoitra knows how loud she can get by herself.

So when he saw Neville cover his ears, Nnoitra wisely did the same thing. Even with his ears covered, Molly Weasley's voice still sounded like she was screaming at the top of her lungs into his ear.

As soon as it was done, it burst into a small ball of fire. Hermione put her book down and started to say something, but Ron stopped her. Nnoitra just scoffed and continued eating.

* * *

Nnoitra stared in shock. A little mousy-haired first year with an old Muggle camera in his hands stared at him in surprise before grinning.

_No way…What the hell are my chances?_

The first year Gryffindor ran up to him with a large smile, stopping barely a yard from him and bowing deeply.

"Tesla?" he spoke softly.

"Nnoitra-sama," he greeted in response, standing up straight with wide, bright eyes.

To Tesla's completely surprise, Nnoitra grabbed him and pressed him tightly to his body, arms wrapped around him and squeezing him as much as he could. "Fucking hell," he gasped. "Thought you were gone…all alone…I'm so sorry, Tesla. I am so sorry." Tesla hesitantly hugged back before Nnoitra held him at arm's length away. "You gotta call me Harry while we're here, all right?" he said. "Can't have anyone know. Yet."

"Yes, sir," Tesla replied with a nod and a smile. "My new name's Colin."

Nnoitra smirked and ruffed Tesla's dirty-blonde hair. "I swear I will treat you better," he started. "And I am never losing you again. Ever!"

Tesla's smile only grew more. He knew that even in Hueco Mundo, Nnoitra did care more than he let on. After all, he could hit a lot harder than he did whenever Tesla disobeyed him. Being Hollows, they couldn't risk anyone getting too close.

Nnoitra just had a unusual way of showing he does care by making others think he doesn't. But there had been plenty of times when someone wanted to hurt Tesla or devour him for a little bit more power, and Nnoitra was right there protecting him.

"Aww, famous Potter is showing affection," Malfoy taunted when he came across them.

Nnoitra scowled and straighten up, Tesla standing by his side.

"Figures," the Slytherin sneered, staring at Tesla like he was nothing but dirt on his shoe. Seeing a possible confrontation about to happen as they were passing by, Ron and Hermione was suddenly behind Nnoitra. "Seem to attract his kind no matter where you go."

"Watch what you say, Malfoy," Ron warned with a (quite pathetic) glare.

"Shut up," Nnoitra growled at him then looked at Malfoy. "And what kind of people would Colin be a part of? What kind of people do you think I associate myself with?"

Malfoy sneered at the three around Nnoitra. "Nothing but blood traitors and Mudbloods," he said slowly.

Many people gasped in shock at Malfoy's words. Ron turned livid. Hermione flinched. Tesla just glared. Nnoitra smirked. "Now I don't know a lot of wizard words, but I get the feeling Mudblood is meant as a fucking insult," he stated, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Then he looked down at Tesla. "Am I right?"

"Yes," Tesla replied with a sharp nod. "It means we have dirty blood, that we are nothing because we are not born from magic, but from Muggles, normal people."

"Huh," Nnoitra sighed, shoulders sagging. "Bet this little first year 'Mudblood' here can kick your ass six ways to Sunday before you even know what the hell is going on." For some reason, is sounded less like an insult when Nnoitra said it, and only Tesla knew why.

Malfoy scoffed and looked around at the laughing Slytherins behind him. "What can a little firsty Mudblood do to me?"

"Shut your mouth!" Ron yelled, pulling out his wand.

Nnoitra grabbed his arm and made him lower it. Then he looked at Tesla. "This little shit is insulting you and mocking the honor you have, but he lacks," he pointed out. "Feel free."

With a smirk, Tesla stepped forward and placed his camera on the ground, out of the way. Malfoy looked at him like he was expecting him to back off at the last second. Crabbe and Goyle flanked Malfoy, crossing their arms over their chests to look intimidating. Tesla found them to be as scary as wet kittens, to be honest. After all, Nnoitra in the morning without any breakfast was much scarier.

Sighing deeply, Tesla put his hands behind his back. He stared at Malfoy with a blank expression. Everyone stayed quiet, watching the interaction, refusing to miss a second.

All it took was a blink. A single blink and Malfoy was on the ground, holding a hand to his bleeding nose and Tesla standing in front of him with a fist held out. No one had really seen him move.

"Well, looks like blood ain't everything, asshole," Nnoitra stated with a laugh as Tesla picked his camera back up and went over to his side once more. "Nice one. Glad to see you in shape."

"Habit," Tesla stated with a small smile.

* * *

For the punch to Malfoy, Tesla faced the wrath of Snape and McGonagall. Nnoitra vouched for Tesla about the need to defend his honor after being called a derogatory term, and then told them what the term was. Many witnesses agreed that Malfoy did say 'Mudblood'.

McGonagall just gave him a detention for punching Malfoy.

Nnoitra, on the other hand, just kept laughing whenever Tesla made a move to Malfoy and the other boy would flinch.

* * *

"What do you think about this Defense teacher?"

"Fucking egomaniac. Bit of an asshole. Damn fraud. Probably a pedophile. Watch yourself around him."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Nnoitra did not know what to expect for his first Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He sure as hell did not expect Lockhart to give them a quiz on pointless shit. Fifty-four questions all about Lockhart himself. Not about spells. Not about the creatures he supposedly fought against.

Himself.

So when Lockhart announced the start of the quiz, he simply put a large "Fuck you" on it and leaned back in his chair.

**Ca- -u he- me?**

_Very little. _

The connection between him and Santa Teresa is still weak enough that he can barely hear her. But simply the fact that he can hear her at all is good enough. It means their bond is reconnecting and becoming stronger.

**Nnoitra!**

There is no doubt in his mind that the feminine voice in his head is his zanpakutou. There is just no one else it could be.

He delved deeper into his mind, her voice getting clearer and clearer the farther he went.

**Master Nnoitra. Can you hear me?**

_Yes!_

There it was. The bond. He just needed to grab it.

He could see Santa Teresa there, in the darkness of his mind. Her short, spiky forest green hair. Her large violet eyes. Emerald green armor covered her body, hugging her form and scythes tucked against her four arms. She reached out one hand, long and clawed fingers spread. Transparent wings with a silver vein design on them fluttered behind her. A thin, black, sleeve-less coat on her, long enough to reach the floor behind her, open at the front.

She smiled brightly and called to him happily.

**Master Nnoitra!**

He reached out. Then Lockhart's boisterous voice flooded his mind, announcing the end of the quiz. Santa Teresa seemed to panic then reached out and grabbed him, securing the bond before he was pulled from his own mind.

His eyes snapped open and he looked around momentarily. Lockhart was making his way to the back of the room, collecting papers as he went.

**Master? Can you hear me? Did it work?**

_Yeah, Santa Teresa. It worked._

**Good. And it's about time. I've been trying to reconnect the bond since last year.**

_You don't say?_

Lockhart rifled through the papers, tutting as he pointed out what the students got wrong and supplied the correct answers, praising Hermione about getting all the questions right. Then he reached Nnoitra paper. "Oh my," he gasped.

* * *

"Cornish pixies?" one of the other Gryffindors laughed out.

"Freshly caught Cornish pixies!" Lockhart corrected with a beaming smile.

Nnoitra gagged.

"Devilish little blighters they can be!"

"Probably the only creature you were able to catch without making yourself look like a total idiot," Nnoitra commented with a grin, lacing his fingers behind his head.

**Master? I think he's about to do something stupid.**

_Like what?_

"Let's see what you think of them now!" Lockhart dramatically exclaimed, opening the cage the pixies were locked in.

**Like that.**

_…Oh…_

The pixies flew everywhere, wrecking the entire room. Students dived under their tables for safety. Some grabbed their books and were using them as weapons. Very few others actually shooting spells at the little creatures to immobilize them.

"Come on, round them up, round them up," Lockhart called out over all the noise. "They're only pixies!" He raised his wand and yelled, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

No effect. And the pixies grabbed his wand. "You suck!" Nnoitra yelled out, the only student not hiding under his desk or helping out.

Nnoitra, Hermione, and Ron were all volunteered to collect the pixies once the bell rang and all other students were out the classroom door. Then Lockhart fled to his own office.

With an annoyed sigh, Nnoitra yelled out as loud as he could, "You little fuckers!" Every pixie actually froze and stared at him with wide eyes. "Get your sorry asses in that damn cage or I'm gonna have some fucking new pixie skin boots!"

Every pixie flew back to the cage as quickly as they could, closed and locked the door themselves, shivering in the cage.

Ron and Hermione looked at him in shock.

He grinned. "Works every time."

* * *

"I am quite confused about this game," Tesla admitted as he followed Nnoitra and the rest of the team to the pitch for their practice.

"Plain and simple, I get the boring job of finding a fucking gold ball no bigger than your eye," Nnoitra sighed. "At least I can get a few rushes. Not to mention there are also two flying balls trying to knock me out of the damn air. It's kind of fun."

"I will assume you say that because of those two flying balls trying to knock you out of the air," Tesla commented with a smirk. Nnoitra truly had not changed a bit.

* * *

"You got a new Seeker," Wood said, trying to reign in his anger from the Slytherins walking in on their practice time. "Who?"

Flint stepped back and Malfoy stepped forward.

Nnoitra burst out laughing. "Are you fucking serious?!" he exclaimed, still laughing. "Daddy's boy? 'Ow, you stupid Bludger! Wait until my father hears about this!'"

Tesla chuckled, covering his mouth to stifle the laughter. Ron didn't even bother and Hermione just rolled her eyes with a giggle.

"You laugh now, but you won't stand a chance this year," Malfoy said, leaning on his broom.

"Draco's father sent us a generous present," Flint said, pointing out the seven new Nimbus Two Thousand and One broomsticks.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," Hermione shot at them. "They got in on pure talent."

"No one asked you, you filthy little Mudblood," Malfoy spat.

"You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!" Ron yelled, pointing his broken wand at the blonde boy.

"Sir, do you get the feeling…?" Tesla started, looking up at Nnoitra.

"Something either really fucking stupid or really funny is going to happen?" Nnoitra finished. "Yeah."

A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of Ron's wand, only instead of hitting Malfoy, hit Ron himself in the stomach.

Seconds later, he was belching up slugs.

"Correction, something really fucking bizarre and gross," Nnoitra stated.

* * *

"You will both do your detentions this evening," McGonagall told both him and Ron.

"Seriously? Instead of the first day of school, you decide to give it to us now?"

"What're we doing, Professor?" Ron asked.

"You will be polishing the silver in the trophy room with Mr. Filch. And no magic, Weasley – elbow grease. And you, Potter, will be helping Professor Lockhart answer his fan mail."

Nnoitra was silent for two seconds. "If I punch him in the face, I am not at fault."

* * *

_"Come…come to me…Let me rip you… Let me tear you… Let me kill you…"_

Nnoitra looked around with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell?!" he said out loud.

"I know!" Lockhart exclaimed. "Six solid months at the top of the best-seller list! Broke all records!"

"Shut the fuck up, I wasn't talking about your sorry ass," Nnoitra snapped. "Fucking voices in the walls, I swear."

**Master, that was not normal by any stretch of the word. There is something in this place.**

_I kind of figured that._

"Voice? What voice?" Lockhart asked, puzzled. "Perhaps you're getting a little drowsy? Great Scott – look at the time! We've been here nearly four hours!"

_Tune him out. Just tune him out._

**Would you like me to play the violin for you, Master?**

_Piano would be better._

Soft notes from a piano filled his mind, successfully tuning Lockhart out, except for the part where he was told to leave.

As he walked down the hallway, Santa Teresa suddenly stopped. Nnoitra, curious as to why, froze and looked around.

"…_rip…tear…kill…"_

Not seeing anything, but hearing it clearly, he pressed his ears against the wall. Maybe it's in there…

"Harry, what are you-?"

Stalkers plus Tesla showed up, apparently leaving the Halloween Feast.

"Shut up."

"…_so hungry…for so long…"_

"Fucking voice messing with my head," Nnoitra grumbled, pushing away from the wall and following the direction it was coming from.

"It isn't…"

"Established contact, and no, it isn't."

"Never hurts to ask."

"I'm not fucking crazy."

"I never suggest it. I was simply asking."

Nnoitra turned his head and stared at Tesla. "Really?"

"…_kill… time to kill…"_

"Okay, follow the creepy voice," Nnoitra said then took off in a run.

"Harry, what're we-" Hermione started.

"Shut the hell up!" Nnoitra snapped at her.

"…_I smell blood… I SMELL BLOOD!"_

"It's gonna kill someone," Nnoitra stated, ignoring Ron and Hermione's bewildered faces. Tesla's eyes grew wide before he picked up speed until he was right next to Nnoitra.

"What is it? I don't know about them, but I can't hear anything."

"We'll find out."

They made it to the second floor. Nnoitra finally stopped in the last deserted hallway, looking down at the shallow water at his feet. Tesla bent down slightly, seeing nothing unusual about the liquid. "Just water, but why is it flooded?" he asked.

**Master, there is something on the wall.**

Nnoitra looked up, ignoring Ron and Hermione as one tried to demand an explanation as to his behavior.

Written in a red substance, possibly blood, THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE. Hanging underneath it, Mrs. Norris. Hanging from a torch bracket by her tail.

* * *

"Why is that first year in our dorm?" Ron asked quite loudly, pointing at Tesla on Nnoitra's bed. "This is the second year dorm! He shouldn't be in here!"

"Shut the fuck up, I have a headache," Nnoitra growled before Tesla pulled a brush out of his pocket. Without any instruction, he started to work on Nnoitra's hair. While it is only shoulder length, Tesla knows it helps Nnoitra calm down. Not to mention, Nnoitra just can't take care of his own hair without feeling like he was yanking off his scalp.

Nnoitra grabbed a drape and closed it, blocking the view of his bed from the others. For extra, he also erected a silencing ward. He saw it in a book and thought it would be useful.

"It no doubt has something to do with that voice you heard earlier," Tesla stated. "At least you were saved from an unfair punishment."

"That's not what's bugging me," he stated, fingers laced together and chin on his hands. "Why am I the only one who fucking heard the damn thing?"

"It is a mystery."

They were silent for a moment before Nnoitra sigh. "See, this is why I would like Szayel around, too. He can figure this shit out, no problem!"

* * *

Nnoitra barely paid attention to the story, but still listened to it.

**So a Founder created this Chamber?**

_Yep._

**And this Founder placed a dangerous monster inside it to cleanse the school of Muggleborn children?**

_Sounds like it._

**…Did the thought of this creature possible killing everyone in the school ever cross his mind?**

_Hell if I know. Sounded a little full of himself._

* * *

"Come and look at this! This is funny," Hermione stated, drawing their attention to a peculiar sight.

A line of spiders crawling out of a cracked window, seeming to be in a hurry to leave.

"You know, when you said 'funny', I wasn't expecting for it to mean strange," Nnoitra commented, giving her a blank stare. "How about you quit trying to do a man's job?"

"How about you stop being a chauvinist pig?" she shot back, hands on her hips.

Tesla sighed gently. "It will never happen. By the way, it seems like the sight of spiders has petrified the other one."

"Little shit's afraid of tiny little eight-legged bugs?"

"Arachnids."

"Don't care."

* * *

"So who could be Slytherin's Heir?" Tesla asked, looking towards Nnoitra instead of either of the other two.

Ron, still holding a grudge against the first-year for being accepted so easily by Nnoitra while Ron himself is still having trouble, quipped quite sarcastically, "Let's think. Who do we know who thinks all Muggleborns are scum?"

Nnoitra, quite effectively, smacked him upside the head.

"If you're talking about Malfoy-" Hermione sighed heavily.

"Of course I am!" Ron exclaimed, rubbing his head. "You heard him – 'You'll be next, Mudbloods!' – come on, you've only got to look at his foul rat face to know it's him."

"It's not him," Nnoitra commented. "Fucker's too chicken-shit to try anything like that. Bastard would probably faint at the sight of another's blood. Can't handle a damn thing. Not to mention, he doesn't do anything. He gets those two dumbass gorillas of his to do everything for him."

"That takes someone out, but doesn't narrow it down any," Tesla sighed.

"It could totally be Malfoy!" Ron nearly shouted.

"We need to find proof," Hermione determinedly stated. "And there might be a way. But it'll be difficult. And dangerous, very dangerous. Not to mention we'd be breaking about fifty school rules-"

"Everything you are saying is only tempting me to go ahead with it," Nnoitra pointed out. "Shit, whatever the hell you're planning, go ahead!"

"You have a habit of doing anything dangerous."

"Only if there is a chance of me dying!"

"What?!"

"He's just that way."

"No one asked you, Creevey."

"Hey, dipshit, shut up."

* * *

"Getting a hold of the recipe will be very difficult. Snape said it was in a book called Moste Potente Potions and it's bound to be in the Restricted Section of the library."

"Fun…"

"No, last time you went in there, you were nearly caught."

"That's why it's fun!"

"I would like the limit the amount of rules broken!"

"And that's why you're a damn suck-up with no sense of fun."

Hermione sighed. "We need a teacher's permission and signature. I think that if we made it sound as though we are interested in the theory, we might stand a chance…"

"Oh, come on! No teacher's gonna fall for that!" Ron pointed out. "They'd have to be really thick…"

Nnoitra and Tesla shared a look. "First one that comes to mind?"

"Lockhart?"

"Damn straight!"

* * *

If he thought Quidditch was fun before, he is definitely enjoying it now. This particular Bludger seems to be obsessed with knocking him out.

But he wasn't planning on giving that little shit Malfoy the pleasure of beating him. Hell no.

"Someone's tampered with this Bludger!" Fred yelled over the loud wind.

"Just fucking go somewhere else!" Nnoitra yelled at him. "You're making it worse!"

If there is one thing he's noticed about these things, they're at a constant speed. Hitting them, though, throws more momentum their way and makes them faster.

And he really does not want to give Malfoy that pleasure of seeing him in pain.

The two finally did leave him alone after much arguing. The Bludger continued to chase him.

"Training for the ballet, Potter?" Malfoy taunted him.

"That seems more like your hobby!" Nnoitra shouted back, spotting the Snitch above Malfoy's head. "Hey, dumbass! Want a Bludger?" He flew right at Malfoy, making the other boy yelp and jerked out of Nnoitra's way. Then he finally saw the tiny golden Snitch.

Nnoitra reached out, trying to grab it. The Bludger flew around him and shot his way, successfully hitting his arm.

"Damn it!" he yelled, holding that arm to his chest yet didn't lose sight of the Snitch. Holding onto his broom tightly with his legs, he reached out with his other arm and grabbed it seconds before Malfoy could, winning the game.

Spotting the Bludger coming his way again, he did the first thing that came to mind. He dived to the ground, still on his broom. He jumped off feet from the ground, using his good hand to try and slow his fall, and rolled to soften the landing. He sat up from his position on the ground, but didn't stand. Above him, the Bludger was hit with a spell and exploded.

_I miss my hierro. _

**Master?**

_This is nothing._

**Not that, Master. I know you can handle this. But that pedophile is coming your way.**

_Thanks for the heads up._

"Stay the fuck away from me!" Nnoitra yelled as Lockhart approached him.

"Doesn't know what he's saying," Lockhart chuckled. "Not to worry, Harry. I'm about to fix your arm."

"You're going to make it worse and I'll strangle you with my good arm!" Nnoitra shouted at him, holding his broken arm to his side now.

"He should just go to the Hospital Wing," he heard Tesla say.

"Not to worry, I've done this plenty of times!" Lockhart attempted to reassure.

"Colin, get this fucker away from me before he does something!"

"Stand back," Lockhart ordered as he rolling up his sleeves then waved his wand around in the air before pointing it at Nnoitra's broken arm.

A moment's pause.

**Master, I hate to tell you this, but he just made your bones vanish in that arm.**

…_I'm gonna kill him…_

Tesla finally made his way over and stared in shock at Nnoitra's arm.

"Ah, yes, well," Lockhart stammered. "That can sometimes happen. But the point is, you no longer feel any pain. And the bones are obviously not broken."

"They're gone, you bastardo!" Tesla shouted.

Calm as he could, Nnoitra rose to his feet. Lockhart stood as well and started to ask Ron and Hermione to take him to the Hospital Wing. "Hold it right there," he said.

"Oh, no need to thank me, Harry," Lockhart said.

Nnoitra grinned then threw a fist to Lockhart, hitting him in the face. Before Lockhart hit the ground in pain, Tesla was already trying to push Nnoitra away. "I told you not to fucking touch me! Do you see what kind of shit you just pulled?! My arm has no bones in it, you asshole! When I get my bones back, I'm snapping your damn neck! You hear me?! Snapping it!"

* * *

"What did Madam Pomfrey give you?"

"Skele-Gro. Taste like shit."

"You know Professor Lockhart was only trying to help. You didn't have to punch him!"

"I believe I was at full pardon to do whatever the hell I wanted at that point. I have a damn good excuse."

"He did remove Harry's bones instead of healing them, like he said he would."

"Asshole deserved it."

* * *

Later on that night, Nnoitra got a surprise visitor. "You little piece of shit!"

"Harry Potter came back to school. Dobby warned and warned Harry Potter. Ah, sir, why didn't you heed Dobby? Why didn't Harry Potter go back home when he missed the train?"

And thus, Nnoitra quickly found out a few things.

Dobby has been responsible for the train and for the Bludger. The house elf also spilled that the Chamber does in fact exist and was opened before. Now that it's been open again, Muggleborns will be the target.

_I am not losing Tesla again!_

He grabbed Dobby by the front of his pillowcase outfit. "Tell me who is doing this shit right now!" he growled.

Dobby did not answer, only jerked his head when he heard voices and snapped his fingers, disappearing with a crack.

Dropping to his bed and covering himself up, Nnoitra watched as Dumbledore came in, helping McGonagall carry what appeared to be a statue. They placed it on a bed before Dumbledore ordered her to get Pomfrey. Pomfrey came back with McGonagall and gasped.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Another attack," Dumbledore replied gravely. "Minerva found him on the stairs."

"There was a bunch of grapes next to him," Minerva added. "We think he was trying to sneak up here to visit Potter."

…_Don't let it be…_

**Master.**

_It's not him!_

"Petrified?" whispered Madam Pomfrey.

**He lives, Master, but is stone still.**

"You don't think he managed to get a picture of his attacker?" McGonagall asked eagerly.

A jet of steam hissing out of the camera answered that question.

"Melted. All melted…"

"What does this mean, Albus?"

"It means that the Chamber of Secrets is indeed open again."

"But, Albus…surely…who?"

"The question is not who…but how…"

* * *

Ron and Hermione came up to the hospital wing to see how he was doing. Nnoitra just sat on Tesla's bed, staring at him. Tesla's eyes were wide and glassy, his arms fixated in a position of him holding his camera.

"Harry?" Hermione called softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Nnoitra jerked it off with a growl. "I don't need your damn sympathy," he stated. What could petrify someone like this and melt camera film as a picture was being taken?

"When we finish the potion," Ron attempted next, "then we can get a confession out of Malfoy! And you can beat his arse until you can't anymore."

"Fuck off," another growled response.

**Master? There is something on his left arm.**

Nnoitra looked and spotted what Santa Teresa was pointing out to him. A scratch on his arm that looked as though it was written in a hurry. Sung-Sun. What does Halibel's Fraccion have to do with this?

"That's an odd scratch," Hermione noted, seeing what Nnoitra was looking at. "What does 'Sung-Sun' mean?"

_What is Tesla trying to tell me?_

**Halibel had three Fraccion. Apache, Mila-Rose, and Sung-Sun. I do not imagine Sung-Sun doing anything like this. She is the calmest of the three, second only to Halibel herself.**

_It's a hint to something… What was Sung-Sun?_

**An anaconda. A serpent.**

"A snake," Nnoitra said out loud in a low voice.

"I've never heard of a snake called a Sung-Sun," Hermione pointed out. "Neither normal or magical."

"Shut the fucking hell up!" Nnoitra yelled at her. "You are starting to do nothing more than piss me off! Let's get one thing straight here, you little bitch. You are not better than me! So get that damn thought out of your head before I bash it in!"

Ron and Hermione both froze before he shoved them out of his way and marched out.

He has a snake to find and skin.

* * *

A dueling club?

**Perhaps the students would like the example of a master swordsman?**

_Tempting. And it could help me get ready for whenever I get that damn snake.  
_

* * *

Lockhart had called him up after the demonstration that made him seem like a fool. Snape called up Malfoy.

Both stood face to face. "Scared, Potter?" Malfoy taunted.

"In your dreams," Nnoitra replied with a wide grin.

Lockhart started the count, but at 'two', Malfoy fired the first shot. Nnoitra ducked to avoid it and he fired another spell at him, hitting the other easily.

"I said disarm only!" Lockhart yelled, but was ignored.

"Serpensortia!" Malfoy yelled out before a long, black snake shot out of his wand. Obviously pissed, the snake raised itself and bared its fangs.

Snape attempted to get rid of it, but Lockhart cut him off, only succeeding in pissing the reptile off even more.

"Nice one, dumbass," Nnoitra commented as the snake started to go for a student. "You're better than that python I met when I was ten."

The snake stopped and looked at Nnoitra. "_A sspeaker_!"

"Second one to call me that," Nnoitra sighed, sitting on the floor. The snake, without hesitance, went over to him and circled its body around him. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think you're playing at?!" the nearly-attacked student yelled.

Nnoitra glared at him. "Hey, I'm trying to have a conversation here, asshole!"

* * *

"You're a Parselmouth! Why didn't you tell us?"

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"You can talk to snakes!"

"…I think that's kind of obvious by now, dipshit!"

* * *

The whole entire school now thinks he is the Heir of Slytherin.

_Swell._

**This could be a good thing, Master.**

_Why?_

**Less people will bother you?**

…_Yeah, I guess so._

* * *

Justin Finch-Fletchley was the second human attacked, along with Nearly Headless Nick. Peeves saw him near the two and started yelling.

He really hates Peeves.

* * *

"Fawkes is a phoenix, Harry," Dumbledore explained after the bird caught on fire. "Phoenix burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes. Watch him…" A little curious, Nnoitra watched as a little, wrinkled, newborn bird emerge from the pile of ash. "Fascinating creatures, phoenixes. They can carry immensely heavy loads, their tears have healing powers, and they make highly faithful pets."

The talk then steered to how Dumbledore did not think Nnoitra did anything wrong and asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell him.

"No," Nnoitra replied quite easily. "Nothing."

* * *

The Christmas holidays came around and the feast was enjoyed. Then Hermione, apparently forgetting his blow up at her or figuring he was just that upset, dragged him and Ron to the bathroom for the Polyjuice Potion.

Crabbe and Goyle were quickly dealt with and soon after, the three were back in the bathroom of Moaning Myrtle. Each had a glass of a mud-looking potion and added whatever hairs they collected. Two ran to the bathroom stalls, but Nnoitra merely went to the sink. When he looked at the mirror, he saw Goyle.

_Please tell me you're still there._

**Only your appearance changed, not your mind. Thankfully.**

* * *

"That was a waste of time and completely useless!" Nnoitra growled. "I told you two he wasn't doing a damn thing because he doesn't do anything! Geez, blaming everything on the shit seems to be the easiest thing for you to do. Where's the little bitch?"

"Go away!" Hermione's voice rang out.

Nnoitra quirked an eyebrow.

"The potion should have worn off by now," Ron stated. "Do you still have Millicent's nose or something?"

Nnoitra kicked open the door she was hiding behind and blanched. She was covered head to toe in cat hair, had a cat face, and even a tail!

"Holy fucking shit!"

Some time after Nnoitra finally stopped laughing, Ron led Hermione to the hospital wing. Nnoitra was still cackling.

* * *

Moaning Myrtle's bathroom was flooding for some reason. Nnoitra found a book that Ron tried to keep from him, believing it to be dangerous and went off about other books that were dangerous. While he went on and on, Nnoitra simply grabbed the diary and opened it.

_There's nothing in it._

**Do not be so sure. There is something wrong with it. I sense something.**

_What?_

…**I am unsure…**

When the diary was shown to the cured Hermione, she tried many things to try and get it to reveal its secrets. Nothing happened when she tried a spell or the Revealer.

"Why did you get that damn thing anyway?"

"I thought it may come in handy."

"Seriously?"

* * *

Valentine's Day came around. And Nnoitra wanted to gouge his own eyes out. The Great Hall was covered with pink. Not Szayel's hair color pink, he can stand that pink. Bright pink, neon pink, Pepto-fucking-Bismol pink! It was hideous!

_I swear to God, Aizen, or whoever the hell runs the world now, I am killing that guy!_

**Calm, Master. Calm.**

_You're the calm one. I'm the fucking psychopath!_

**At least you admit it.**

* * *

The diary opened, an ink bottle next to it on the desk with a quill already dipped in it. Earlier that day, the bottle of red ink he had bought a while back (he thought it would be funny to use it and make the teachers think he wrote in blood) broke and spilled over everything. Yet Riddle's diary remained…untouched.

He picked up the quill and let it drip a single drop of black ink then watched. Within seconds, the book absorbed the ink.

With a grin, he wrote 'My name is Harry Potter.' Limited information.

The diary absorbed the words then showed new ones. 'Hello, Harry Potter. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you come by my diary?'

'Someone tried to flush it down a toilet. Fail.'

'Lucky that I recorded my memories in some more lasting way than ink. But I always knew that there would be those who would not want this diary read.'

'No shit, Sherlock. That's why the only way to read it is to have a fucking conversation.'

'…Touché. What I meant was that this diary holds memories of terrible things. Things that were covered up. Things that happened at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'

'Cut to the chase. Know anything about a Chamber of Secrets?'

**Master…**

_I know! Just wait!_

Riddle told him about the Chamber opening fifty years ago, the monster being released, and Riddle catching the culprit after a Muggleborn girl died.

'Same shit's happening now, but no deaths. Yet. Who did it last time?'

'I can show you, if you like. You don't have to take my word for it. I can take you inside my memory of the night when I caught him.'

Nnoitra quirked an eyebrow. 'Or I can simply rip all these pages up and say fuck it all because there is no way in hell I am doing that. I don't know you. I don't know what you want to do in order to show me this memory. And I sure as hell doubt that I will be left unharmed or even allowed back. Do you take me for a fucking idiot?'

'No, no, of course not! I was just offering.'

'This is tell and no show. Okay? Tell. And. No. Show.'

'…Very well.' He then went on about the night of the girl's death and about the Headmaster saying that Hogwarts may end up being closed. Determined to keep the school open, Riddle confronted the culprit out of sight of anyone else. He said he tried to get rid of the monster himself, but it got away.

**I sense lies.**

'What was the monster?'

'It was covered with black hair, a tangle of black legs, a gleam of many eyes, and a pair of razor-sharp pincers.'

_A spider. Doesn't match anything at all._

'Culprit?'

'Rubeus Hagrid.'

"Bullshit!"

* * *

The following day, the boys returned to their dorm to find it trashed. "Someone's been looking for something," Ron observed.

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious," Nnoitra scoffed, pushing his way past him and started to look around. With great pleasure, he noted Lockhart's books destroyed. When he finally cleaned everything up, he noticed it. "Riddle's diary is gone."

* * *

_"Kill this time…let me rip…tear…"_

"Damn voice again," Nnoitra growled, hand clenching into a fist. He knows it's a snake, but what kind?

"Harry!" Hermione gasped. "I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!"

Before either boy could say anything, she was gone. "When does she not go to the fucking library?" Nnoitra asked out loud.

"That's what Hermione does," Ron answered. "When in doubt, go to the library."

* * *

Hermione was attacked. Now she, too, lays petrified on a bed in the hospital wing, in the bed next to Tesla. A second girl, older, at her other side.

Ron sits on Hermione's bed, but Nnoitra simple sits on Tesla's.

"What did you see, Tesla?" he asked lowly. "What snake?"

* * *

Nnoitra went down to see if Hagrid knew anything. Obviously, he was involved in some way. Ron decided to join him no matter what, so he didn't bother arguing.

Shortly after their arrival, safe under the Invisibility Cloak, Dumbledore came in with the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. They want to take Hagrid away. Then Lucius Malfoy came in and Nnoitra wanted to blow their cover just for the sake of punching the asshole in the face.

**Calm, Master. Perhaps something useful shall be revealed.**

Dumbledore took the news of the suspension with ease, Fudge and Hagrid taking it harsher. Dumbledore just went on about how he would not truly be gone so long as there are those loyal to him inside the castle. Then he left without another word.

Hagrid left soon after with a very clear instruction. Follow the spiders.

* * *

Nnoitra looked around. Webs everywhere, large spiders surrounding them.

Being a mantis, Nnoitra is quite nervous being around this many of this size. Ron seemed scared stiff.

"Aragog!" a spider yelled, scurrying away. "Aragog!"

A large spider the size of a small elephant emerged slowly, patches of gray on its body and its eyes, all eight, a milky white.

"If you start talking about justice, I'm gonna slice you apart," Nnoitra warned.

"Who is it?" Aragog asked, seeming to ignore Nnoitra's comment.

"Strangers!" the smaller spider answered.

"Kill them. I was sleeping…"

"Hell, I like you!" Nnoitra exclaimed with a laugh. "All faith in blind people restored. Hagrid sent us."

"Hagrid?" Aragog repeated in confusion. "Hagrid has never sent men into our hollow before."

"Yeah, well, he wasn't deep in a pile of shit called trouble before, I bet," Nnoitra shot back. "Look, long story short. Monster lose in damn castle. Hagrid taken to Azkaban. Everyone thinks he set the monster lose, everyone thinks you're the fucking monster. I ain't stupid like them. I know it's a snake of some sort. Answers. Now!"

"Spunky little human," Aragog complimented with a snip of his pincers. "Very well. We do not speak of the monster. It was born in of the castle. It had been freed fifty years ago, but everyone thought I was the monster."

"Idiots," Nnoitra scoffed.

"Yes, some humans lack intelligence," Aragog agreed.

**Master, so many.**

_Shush. We're getting somewhere._

"The girl that died?" Nnoitra pressed.

"She was killed in a bathroom by an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others. Well do I remember pleading with Hagrid to let me go, when I sensed the beast moving about the school."

"Well thanks, old guy," Nnoitra said with a snort. "Surprisingly, you gave us the most information. We're going."

"Go? I think not," Aragog argued. "My children do not harm Hagrid on my command. But I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wonders so willingly into our hollow."

Ron whimpered, but Nnoitra grabbed his arm to keep him from running.

"Look, I kind of like you, actually," Nnoitra stated, leaning to the large spider. "And I normally step on any little fucking spider I come across and rip its little legs off because I just damn well hate them that much. Don't. Push. Me."

* * *

"I can't believe he just let us leave like that!"

"Hell, I've faced scarier things than him and I think he damn well knows that. That, and I'm pretty damn sure threatening to burn his home to the fucking ground helped get us out of that."

* * *

"I have good news," McGonagall announced to the school.

"Dumbledore's coming back!" several people yelled happily.

"Maybe, maybe not," Nnoitra muttered.

"You've caught the Heir of Slytherin!" a Ravenclaw girl cried out.

"Chances of that, slim to none," he added as he picked up an apple.

"Quidditch matches are back on!" Wood shouted excitedly.

Nnoitra just threw his apple at Wood's head. Wood yelped with it made contact.

"Professor Sprout has just informed me that the Mandrakes are ready for cutting at last. Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been petrified. I need hardly remind you all that one of them may very well be able to tell us who, or what, attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our catching the culprit."

**That means Tesla will wake up again!**

Glad to know his zanpakutou is excited about that.

* * *

_Can I punch him again?_

**No.**

_But I wanna!_

**No, Master.**

"Mark my words," Lockhart went on and on as he led the students to their next class. "The first words out of those poor Petrified people's mouths will be 'It was Hagrid.' Frankly, I'm astounded Professor McGonagall thinks all these security measures are necessary."

"Believe me, this is bullshit," Nnoitra commented. "Seriously, I'm sure we can handle ourselves for the last damn corridor."

_Just one punch?_

**Master, we've had this talk before.**

_Which one? I think we've had five around this subject._

"Yeah, why don't you leave us here, sir," Ron chipped in. "We've only got one more corridor to go."

"You know, Weasley, I think I will," Lockhart agreed as he left them behind. "I really should go and prepare my next class-"

"More like fix his hair," Ron commented.

"Or put on his make up," Nnoitra snickered.

* * *

One last visit to the hospital wing. Nnoitra mainly wanted to visit Tesla. Petrified they may be, but he believes they can still hear. Ron went to visit Hermione.

"You'll be able to move around soon," he told Tesla lowly. "By tonight, they said." He sighed heavily and lowered his head. "Damn, being by myself for so long has changed me, Tesla. I never realized what I had until I lost it all. I was lucky to have someone like you around. Everyone else would not put up with all my bullshit. Thank you for putting up with me in the past. Thank you for being the only friend I ever really had, even when I treated you like shit."

"Harry," Ron called.

_Damn it! I was having a moment!_

**I'm sure Tesla heard you anyway.**

The redhead pointed out a piece of paper in Hermione's hand. Nnoitra carefully removed and unfurled it. A page ripped out of a book about a creature known as a basilisk. As he read over everything, it all fit. Even the word pipes written down in the corner.

* * *

Ginny Weasley was taken into the Chamber. Lockhart was volunteered to go save her, claiming to have known what the monster is and where the Chamber is. Nnoitra thought it would be pointless to get him. Ron thought otherwise.

Then when they confronted Lockhart, they found him packing his things away and going on about this never being in the job description.

"Fucking coward!" Nnoitra snapped, grabbing Lockhart by the back of his neck and slamming him down on a table. "Piece of fucking shit! You go talking about all that shit you pulled in your books and now you're going to tuck your fucking tail between your legs and run?!"

"Books can be misleading!" Lockhart defended.

"You wrote them!" Ron pointed out.

"No he didn't," Nnoitra growled, squeezing the back of Lockhart's neck. The man made a small choking sound. "You took the fucking credit for other people's work, didn't you, asshole? You little fraud! Cowards like you piss me off and make me sick!" He suddenly yanked Lockhart up, still holding him by his neck. "Guess what, dickwad. You're coming with us to the Chamber. If that basilisk tries to get us, he'll get you first. I hear cowards make the best meat shields." Lockhart whimpered as Nnoitra forced him to walk out of the room.

* * *

"I just remember seeing a pair of great, big, yellow eyes. My whole body seized up, and then I was floating away…" Myrtle told them after Nnoitra asked how she died.

"Okay, where were the damn eyes?" Nnoitra asked, snapping Myrtle out of her dreamy state.

"Somewhere there," Myrtle asked, pointing to the ring of sinks.

Still holding Lockhart by the neck, Nnoitra inspected the sinks until he found one with a snake etched on the faucet. "Damn, Slytherin must have been a real pervert," Nnoitra commented. "Put the entrance to his secret chamber in the girls' bathroom."

"Maybe he just thought of this place because no one would ever think of it?"

"No, he's a pervert. I can tell." He inhaled deeply then hissed out, "_Open_."

The sinks pulled forward, all of them, until there was a large hole revealed hiding underneath them. The sink with the snake on it sunk down into the floor then was covered by a grate.

"Well, you hardly seem to need me," Lockhart started, trying to get Nnoitra's hand off of him.

"Think again, asswipe," Nnoitra growled then threw him into the hole. He took great pleasure in listening to Lockhart's terrified screaming until he heard a thud followed by an 'Ow'.

"Think that was a little harsh?" Ron asked.

Nnoitra just glared at him then jumped down into the pipe.

* * *

"The adventure ends here, boys!" Lockhart declared dramatically. "I shall take a bit of this skin back up to the school, tell them I was too late to save the girl, and that you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body – say good-bye to your memories!"

Nnoitra really wasn't worried. After all, dumbass had grabbed Ron's broken wand. As expected, the spell backfired and hit Lockhart instead.

The shock wave of the spell from the broken wand made the tunnel shake. Nnoitra jumped backwards to avoid large falling rocks. Then he ducked down and covered his head as more fell. As soon as everything stopped, he looked up to see rocks blocking his path and heard Ron crying out fearfully.

"Shut the fuck up!" Nnoitra yelled. "Listen here! You start digging. I'm going ahead and skinning a giant fucking snake! Don't let the asshole try anything else!" With that, he turned and walked off, ignoring Ron's shouts.

* * *

Nnoitra looked around the large room. A large stone face dominated one wall, a pool of water in front of it. In front of the pool, a little red-haired figure laid, pale and still. He went over and knelt by her side, pressing a finger against her neck.

"She won't wake," someone said, making Nnoitra jump to his feet.

"Riddle, right?" Nnoitra asked. "I know she's still alive. I'm just the type of guy who doesn't give a flying fuck. I'm after the damn snake."

Tom Riddle seemed surprised by that announcement. "It won't come unless it's called," he explained. "I've waited a long time for this, Harry Potter. For the chance to see you. To speak to you."

"Well ain't I just a special guy," Nnoitra chuckled, throwing his arms open. "Okay, before you say anything else, I'm gonna go on a limb here. You accused Hagrid of setting the monster of Slytherin lose, a creature you claim to be a spider. Well obviously, you're taking me for some dumb little shit. One of your victims left me a clue. One no one else would understand because it is something only he and I know about. In that clue, he told me the best way he could about what attacked him. A fucking snake.

"I also noticed little bitch over here getting worse as the year goes by. And your diary, some weird piece of shit going on there. I'm gonna assume that she got it somehow, started writing in it, told you her deepest, darkest desires, and you just absorbed her life energy, making you stronger and her weaker. Stop me if I'm wrong."

Riddle stared at him. "Well, I'm actually surprised by all the facts you have," he admitted. "I did not think you would figure it all out like that so quickly. Of course, she didn't know what she was doing at first. It was very amusing. I wish you could have seen her new diary entries…far more interesting they became."

"She was starting to figure it out and wanted to chuck the damn diary, am I right?" Nnoitra interrupted before Riddle could start reciting the entries. "Then I found it. So why were you so interested in meeting me?"

"Well, you see, Ginny told me all about you, Harry. Your whole fascinating history." His eyes managed to locate the lightning bolt scar hidden by the fringe of Nnoitra's hair. "I knew I must find out more about you, talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to try and show you my famous capture of that great oaf, Hagrid, to gain your trust-"

"Fail," Nnoitra cut him off. "Very badly."

* * *

"How is it that you – a skinny boy with no extraordinary magical talent - managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?"

"You little fucker," Nnoitra chuckled. "I may be skinny, but you can ask anyone. I can pack a fucking punch. I don't need extraordinary magical talent to kick your sorry ass."

**Master?**

_What is it now?_

**He is Voldemort, his younger self. A piece of his soul he broke off of himself. Not like Stark had done. He did so for a companion, and he did so without mutilating himself, becoming two different people. This one…he used different means. He purposely tore his own soul apart for power and immortality, in small pieces it seems. All the same soul, all the same person. One small piece in front of you.**

Nnoitra's eyes widened before he sneered. "You make me sick!" he growled. "What the hell you did, even a fucking Hollow wouldn't do!"

**Except for Stark.**

_He doesn't count._

"Alright, Voldemort," he chuckled, nearly laughing at Tom Riddle's surprised face. "Want to kill me? Fucking try it! Send out your pet snake! I need new snake skin boots and gloves anyway."

"Very well," Riddle scoffed, then turned to the statue and spoke in Parseltongue. _"Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four!"_

* * *

Nnoitra was pressed against a wall, eyes closed, with the basilisk in front of him. He could feel its eyes on him, watching him. Riddle ordered it to attack him, to kill him. He could hear it rear back.

**Left!**

Quickly, Nnoitra jumped to the left, successfully dodging the strike.

**Master, you must summon me.**

_How the hell do I do that now?!_

**Roll forward!**

Nnoitra ducked down and tumbled, evading another strike.

**Like you did before. Statue to your right, three feet. Duck behind it!**

As he followed her instructions, he could feel the basilisk barely brush his foot. His hand found the statue Santa Teresa mentioned and he slid behind it. Then he inhaled deeply. He held out his hand and concentrated.

"Santa Teresa," he said lowly, concentrating on bringing his zanpakutou out.

"No matter what you try, I doubt you can summon another creature to battle my basilisk," Riddle taunted.

"I'm not summoning another monster," Nnoitra stated with a smirk, feeling the familiar weight of his zanpakutou in his hands. "I'm summoning something better."

**Move to your right, around the statue, then spin around and swing horizontally behind you.**

Nnoitra barely missed the fangs coming at him. On one foot, he spun around and slashed through the air. He felt Santa Teresa make contact and heard the monster shriek in pain and start to thrash.

"Where did you get that?" Riddle asked in shock. "No, my basilisk! You've blinded it!"

Risking it, Nnoitra opened his eyes and grinning. He did indeed blind it. A jagged gash across the giant serpent's eyes, effectively blinding the creature and leaving it badly injured.

"Santa Teresa's a bit of a bitch, ain't she?" Nnoitra chuckled, balancing the zanpakutou on his shoulder. "Come at me, asshole!" The snake, finally getting over its pain, reared back and sniffed at the air. Nnoitra remained still. Then it shot its great head towards him. He dodged to the left then lifted Santa Teresa above his head and swung her down on the monster's neck.

It shrieked in pain once more. Nnoitra had the crazy grin on his face as the basilisk's blood spray over him and memory Riddle. He pulled his weapon out and the beast, still alive, pulled back. Before it was too far away, Nnoitra swung again, this time hitting the creature's mouth while it shrieked and cut off its bottom jaw.

It thrashed about, blood flying everywhere. Riddle seemed so shocked by the brutality, he couldn't say a word. The basilisk lowered to the ground with a whine.

_Well might as well give it a mercy killing._

**I was thinking the same. And imagine how many clothes you can make with this much snake skin.**

_I like the way you think!_

He raised his faithful zanpakutou above his head then swung her down, the curved blades sinking into the basilisk's skull and killing it instantly.

"Now what to do with you," Nnoitra said, yanking his sword out of the beast's corpse. "You said your memories are recorded in that diary, right?"

"You cannot save her," Tom pointed out. "I am almost as full strength now!"

"I'm not trying to save her life," he pointed out, holding Santa Teresa upside down over the diary. Basilisk blood dripped from her points, falling onto the book. "But you sent this thing out on my little brother. You sent it out on someone I already lost and don't plan on losing again."

"Get away from that," Riddle started.

Nnoitra just smirked. "Enjoy Hell, or Hueco Mundo," Nnoitra said. "I hope your little soul piece is ripped to shreds." Then he stabbed one of the points of Santa Teresa into the diary. Tom Riddle let out a long, dreadful, piercing scream. Ink bubbled up from the pages of the diary, pouring over like blood.

Once Tom Riddle was gone, Santa Teresa spoke up.

**Little brother?**

_Don't say a word._

**I think it's sweet. You do care for him.**

_Santa Teresa, I fucking swear._

**Give me a proper cleaning and I will never bring it up again.**

…_Deal. Don't want this damn ink staining you anyway._

* * *

Ginny was saved and reunited with her family. Tears were shed. Nnoitra wanted to leave. Santa Teresa needed to be cleaned and he didn't have the time before he quickly made the sword vanish since Ginny was waking up. No need to let them know his past yet.

Dumbledore had returned, the story was told, and the information on the diary given. McGonagall led the Weasleys out of the room with Ginny. She had to go to the kitchens anyway. Both of the boys got a reward for Special Services to the School and a total of four hundred points to Gryffindor. Then Ron was asked to take Lockhart to the infirmary.

Leaving Nnoitra with Dumbledore.

"First of all, I want to thank you," Dumbledore started.

"What for?" Nnoitra asked, crossing his arms.

"For saving Miss Weasley, killing the basilisk, and saving the school in general," the old man explained. "And so you met Tom Riddle. I imagine he was most interested in you…"

"Said some shit about us being similar," Nnoitra commented offhandedly. "I don't see it. I mean, yeah, I'm an asshole. Yeah, I was obsessed with getting stronger. Guess I still kind of am now. And I can talk to snakes. Fun…"

**Too bad you didn't have that ability when it came to Sung-Sun.**

_Shut up._

* * *

"The same person as last time, Lucius," Dumbledore stated, holding up the damaged and stained diary. "But this time, Voldemort was acting through somebody else. By means of this diary."

Nnoitra noticed Dobby staring at him then nudge his head to Lucius Malfoy before hitting himself with his fists.

"I see…" Lucius drawled.

"A clever plan," Dumbledore said in a level tone. "Because if Harry here and his friend Ron ("Stalker," Nnoitra corrected.) hadn't discovered this book, why – Ginny Weasley might have taken all the blame. No one would ever have been able to prove she hadn't acted of her own free will…"

"Well then, let's us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day," Lucius mocked.

"Not on your fucking life," Nnoitra commented, bringing Mr. Malfoy's attention to him. The man seemed to stumble from the sheer amount of blood on him, though Nnoitra himself looked like he could care less. "I just needed to teach a snake a lesson. No one and no thing attacks what is mine."

* * *

He didn't know why he did it. He just did. "Here's your damn book back," Nnoitra grunted, pushing the worn book into Mr. Malfoy's hand. "Stop bringing his shit back here. I would like to go one year without his sorry ass. Believe it or not, it gets a little annoying."

Lucius merely handed the book over the Dobby. "Keep this in mind, Potter. You'll meet the same stick end as your parents. They were meddlesome fools, too."

"Like I said, attack what's mine and I'm the biggest asshole you would ever have to deal with."

Lucius let out a dignified snort and turned away. "Come, Dobby."

Nnoitra held Dobby back. "Open it," he said.

A little confused, Dobby opened the book and found a dirty sock, blood and ink stained. Dobby, though, stared at it like it was the most valuable thing in the world.

"Dobby!" Mr. Malfoy called again.

"Master has given Dobby a sock," Dobby said in awe.

"What's that?" Lucius scoffed, looking over. "I didn't-" His eyes grew wide as Dobby held the sock up.

"Master has given Dobby clothes. Dobby is free."

Silver eyes looked back and forth between Dobby and Nnoitra until noticing the smirk on the boy's face. He looked down and lifted a pant leg just a little bit, showing one of his socks gone.

"You lost me my servant!" Lucius roared, marching towards them as he pulled out his wand.

"You shall not harm Harry Potter!" Dobby declared, holding out a hand. With a bang, Mr. Malfoy was thrown back and crashed down the stairs, three at a time, and landing quite ungracefully in a crumpled heap. Angered, Lucius Malfoy left.

Dobby looked meekly up at Nnoitra. "Harry Potter freed Dobby. How can Dobby ever repay him?"

"For one, stop trying to save my life," Nnoitra started. "For another, I was just making his life even worse."

* * *

The end of the year came quickly. Exams were cancelled as a school treat, and all petrified students were restored.

"That was nice thinking for that hint," Nnoitra complimented as Tesla sat by him during the feast. "But I just got one question." He held up a finger. "If you had enough time to write Sung-Sun, why didn't you just write basilisk?"

"I didn't know what it was," Tesla replied with a shrug. "I tried taking a picture."

"Film was melted."

"Ah. So, how did you kill it?"

"Santa Teresa."

"Make sense."

"I thought so."

"Are all years here like this?"

"Last year was fun. This year kind of pissed me off. Who knows how the others will be?"

"Well, I hope I will be able to remain by your side for now on."

"I hope so, too, Tesla."

They were silent for a moment.

"By the way, about what you said when I was petrified…"

"I said nothing."

"Funny. I could have sworn-"

"Nothing."

"Are you-"

"Tesla. I will smack you."

"Understood, Nnoitra-sama."

_**Chapter Ends**_

**This…was a lot longer than I imagined it being. Seriously, 33 pages. I think if I am going to be doing this story, I may need to break it down even shorter or do two chapters per book. I don't know. We'll have to see.**

**Anyway, thank you for reading it. I know this one wasn't as funny as the first chapter, but it was a little serious. I tried to throw some humor in there. Next chapter, I will try a little harder. ^^ **

**Also, just a little note. I know I made it sound like Nnoitra and Tesla have a extremely close relationship, but Nnoitra just sees Tesla as his little brother in this story. And after being reincarnated and not seeing any familiar faces or even hearing Santa Teresa until now, he did feel pretty alone. So he wasn't willing to lose Tesla after getting someone familiar back.**

**As for why I had Colin as Tesla's reincarnation, I don't know. He's younger, kind of worships Harry, and follows him around everywhere. He just kind of reminded me of Tesla. Not to mention, there aren't that many differences in their appearance, though Colin's hair is more manageable. Eye color may be different, too, but oh well! **

**I just couldn't think of anyone better fit to be Tesla than Colin Creevey.**


	3. Year Three

**I am having way too much fun with this. I think I may actually finish this one a lot faster than it takes me to update one of my other stories. Kind of sad, isn't it? But I can't help it! This is just too much fun!**

**I also decided that no matter how many pages a chapter will take, I will try to do an entire book per chapter. Unless I feel otherwise, that is what I plan on doing.**

**Now we get to see how Nnoitra will react to his godfather and a lot of other things. Hopefully Tesla and Santa Teresa can keep him happy this year.**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Zanpakutou talking**

**For the sake of this chapter** 'Flashbacks'

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter**.

**_Chapter Start_**

Summer, as usual, was long and boring to Harry Potter, or Nnoitra as he was once called. His homework was done earlier on so that it was out of the way, and now he has the rest of his summer to do whatever he felt like. The only interesting thing that had happened so far was that phone call from one of the two people he refers to as his stalkers, Ronald Weasley.

Apparently, the idiot didn't know how to use a phone and Nnoitra did not recall giving him the number to the house. He did, however, give the number to Tesla. When he called, he was much calmer about it.

"Is Harry there?" Tesla asked as politely as he could.

"THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE! STOP CALLING MY HOUSE!" Vernon roared.

"Why, I don't believe I asked for a Harry Potter, merely a Harry," Tesla shot back.

Before Vernon could yell again, Nnoitra snatched the phone. "Just a sec, Colin," he said then punched Vernon in the stomach. "Stop messing with my fucking calls! I let you get away with that last one because that guy pisses me off on a daily basis!" He put the phone to his ear then spoke quite calmly. "What's up?"

Needless to say, Ron never called back and whenever Tesla called, the phone was quickly handed over to Nnoitra.

When his birthday came around, Nnoitra couldn't help but stay up all night. It was too quiet, except for the endless snoring from the room next to him. He can't do much other than stuff their mouths with socks, but that just seemed like a waste of good clothing. Maybe when he starts getting holes in them.

A tapping drew his attention to his window. From his angle, he could only see Teresa there with a parcel tied to her leg and carrying something gray. Once he got up and went over, he realized it was four owls; Teresa, Tesla's bronze screech owl, a Hogwarts owl, and the old Weasley owl that they kept sending out despite the bird being close to death as is.

Teresa's parcel was removed first before she flew to his shoulder and affectionately nipped at his hair. "Stop that, already," he growled at her, earning a light nip on the ear. Second was Tesla's, a medium package with a letter attached to it. He then removed the items from the Hogwarts owl and finally from the old bird. The Hogwarts owl flew off and Teresa managed to get Errol to her cage for some water.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. His own bird is too soft.

He opened the items from the Weasley family, a little curious about what they gave him. Inside were two pieces of paper. One a letter written in dipshit fan-boy Ron's chicken scratch handwriting and the other a newspaper clipping. The Weasleys won some draw and decided to go to Egypt for a vacation. The letter mainly told about the vacation, which Nnoitra ignored until he got to the PS. Percy as Head Boy.

**I suppose that is a good thing?**

_Nah. Guy's a bit of an asshole._

**A bit like you?**

_A bit like Aizen._

The present was small, a miniature glass spin top. A Pocket Sneakoscope, the note attached to it explained. Meant to light up and spin when around someone untrustworthy.

**That would have been useful…back in Hueco Mundo.**

_Yeah, I know._

The letter Teresa carried was one from Hermione, the little know-it-all bitch stalker. Mainly about her summer in France. A small mention of the other stalker's phone call as well as hoping that he will make it into London the last week of summer. Her present to him was large jar of High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of silver Tail-Twig Clippers, a tiny brass clip for long journeys on the broom, and a Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare.

_Yawn!_

**Well it is nice of her to think of you.**

_Double yawn!_

Useless junk now out of the way and his curiosity sated, Nnoitra turned his attention to the things Tesla sent him. Tesla's owl remained next to the items, just watching him.

Quirking an eyebrow, Nnoitra reached for the note first and read it.

'Nnoitra-sama,

I hope that Jax has managed to find you in time for your birthday. And I hope those people that live with you are not too rude. I worry for the sake of their health if they are.'

Nnoitra laughed.

'For a while, I could not find anything I believed you would use or enjoy, until I went into a weapon shop with my uncle. Hopefully, this will suffice.

'I will be in London the last week of summer to gather my school supplies. I hope to see you there.

'Looking forward to another eventful year,

'Tesla'

With a smirk, he opened Tesla's gift and grinned. A polishing set for Santa Teresa. Plenty of cleaner and polish for a weapon her size to last him a couple months with weekly cleaning, as well as a good sized whetstone. He always did prefer keeping his weapon clean and sharp.

**Yay!**

And she enjoys it as well.

The last item was from Hogwarts, from Hagrid more specifically. He started to unwrap it before it gave a quiver and snapped loudly. Nnoitra lifted it in one hand and stared at it curiously. "The hell?" He finished unwrapping it. The Monster Book of Monsters. It then started to open and close rather rapidly, like it was a pair of jaws trying to bite him. He slammed it onto his bed and pressed down on it. It still struggled against his strength until he just elbowed it and it went still.

He then read Hagrid's short note as the book whined under his elbow.

_How the hell will a biting book be useful next year?_

**Perhaps you can just throw it at any monsters you come across.**

…_Can you imagine me throwing this at a Hollow?_

**It would be amusing.**

The rest of the things from Hogwarts were his list of items needed for the coming up year as well as a permission slip that needed to be signed by his guardians to visit a village named Hogsmeade.

Well, he can come up with a few ways to get this signed.

* * *

Aunt Marge. How Nnoitra hates Aunt Marge. Vernon's sister, a woman the exact same size as Vernon himself. She always brought along one of her dogs, creatures Nnoitra was starting to hate on sight. Damn things keep trying to bite him and 'precious' Aunt Marge would start screaming at him whenever he kicks the dog away.

"Marge'll be here for a week," Vernon stated with a tiny glare directed at Nnoitra. "And while we're on the subject, we need to get a few things straight before I go and collect her."

"Shut the hell up, we all know I run your fucking pathetic lives," Nnoitra snarled back at him. "Now you listen to me real good, Vernon. I will actually behave, but you gotta do something for me in return. As soon as your bitch of a sister walks out that door, so long as I have behaved, you will sign this little slip of paper. That's all. Deal?"

Vernon turned red-faced at the insult to Marge, but nodded anyway.

"Good," Nnoitra said with a smirk. "Now go get the bitch. The sooner she's here, the sooner she can fucking leave!"

* * *

"So!" Marge barked, much like the animal at her feet. "Still here, are you?"

"Yes," Nnoitra scoffed, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't you say 'yes' in that ungrateful tone," Marge growled at him, though was ignored by the very teen she intends to chew out. "It's damn good of Vernon and Petunia to keep you. Wouldn't have done it myself. You'd have gone straight to an orphanage if you'd been dumped on my doorstep."

Nnoitra just smirked at her. "Yeah, I can feel all the love oozing off of them."

Marge sniffed at him. "I can see you haven't improved since I last saw you. I hoped school would knock some manners into you. Where is it you send him, again, Vernon?"

"St. Brutus's" Vernon replied easily. "It's a first-rate institution for hopeless cases."

"You're hopeless," Nnoitra shot at him. Vernon glared, but Nnoitra just smirked. Compared to his normal behavior, this is Nnoitra behaving.

* * *

So far, only Santa Teresa was stopping him from wringing the fat woman's neck or just plain flat using her as his punching bag. There were plenty of opportunities and plenty of reasons.

"You mustn't blame yourself for the way the boy's turned out, Vernon," she commented over lunch on her third day there. "If there's something rotten on the inside, there's nothing anyone can do about it."

_Santa Teresa, something. Please!_

**Yes, Master**. Violin music started to float through his mind.

"It's one of the basic rules of breeding," Marge continued, despite the look on Nnoitra's face. "You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, there'll be something wrong with the pup-"

The wineglass she held suddenly burst in her hand, glass flying every direction it possibly could.

_She did not just call my mother a common bitch!_

**Master, please calm yourself!**

_And there is nothing fucking wrong with me!_

**True as that is, this is an ignorant human.**

…_Point taken. I'll kill her later._

* * *

The final day arrived, much to Nnoitra's joy. Yet it was also Marge's final chance to torment him some more. Most of the day went well enough. It was supper when Nnoitra really wanted to snap Marge's fat neck. "Excellent nosh, Petunia, It's normally just a fry-up for me of an evening, with twelve dogs to look after…" She burped loudly and patted her large stomach. "Pardon me. But I do like to see a healthy-sized boy," she continued on, winking at Dudley. "You'll be a proper-sized man, Dudders, like your father. Yes, I'll have a spot more brandy, Vernon…"

**Proper sized men? They're…**

_Huge? Fat? Lazy? Less than men?_

**Grotesque…**

"Now, this one here," Marge started, jerking her head to Nnoitra. He just narrowed his eyes at her. Not quite a glare, but enough that it would make a human with common sense back off. "This one's got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underfed."

**How horrible to do that to a baby animal! Has this hideous woman no heart?!**

_Did she just call me a fucking runt and weak?! _

**Honestly, drowning the poor thing? Making it suffer? If she was going to kill it, why not humanely?**

_Forget the damn puppy! This bitch just called me weak!_

A growl escaped Nnoitra, but Marge either didn't hear it or ignored it entirely, too busy going on her tirade.

"It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia, but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us!"

_Bad blood? Bitch, one more fucking word! _

Nnoitra's hands clenched into fists and his entire body tensed, ready to lunge and strangle.

"This Potter," she went on to her brother, waving her glass of brandy around and splashing some onto the tablecloth. "You never told me what he did."

"He didn't work," Vernon replied, glancing nervously at Nnoitra. "Unemployed."

The teen kept his head down and that is what worried Vernon.

"As I expected!" Marge exclaimed, taking a huge gulp of the brandy. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who-"

"Shut the fuck up," Nnoitra hissed out.

"MORE BRANDY!" Vernon yelled, pouring more into Marge's glass. "Go to bed, boy. Go on."

"No, Vernon," Marge told him, holding up a hand as her blood-shot eyes focused on Nnoitra. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash, drunk I expect-"

"Shut the FUCK up!" Nnoitra yelled, jumping to his feet. The chair he sat on fell backwards and his hands clenched the tablecloth, leaving little tears in it. His eyes glared at her and his teeth clenched. Marge finally got the idea that she just angered the wrong person. It felt as thought gravity was suddenly becoming stronger, pulling the Dursleys' and Marge down, or something was pushing them down.

"You think you're better than anyone else is, you fat bitch?! You want to talk about bad blood?! You want to talk about weaklings?! Go look in the fucking mirror if it doesn't crack from your ugly face! I will not sit here and let some annoying, ignorant, idiotic, fucking pain in my ass bitch bad mouth me and my parents!" The more he yelled, the stronger the pressure on their bodies. "Bad fucking blood?! I've had enough of your shit! Who the hell are you to call me weak?! I can easily crush your fucking throat before you even know what the hell just happened!" He pushed himself away from the table, glad to see his own pressure continue crushing them.

**Master…you must calm.**

Nnoitra just scoffed then ran upstairs and packed his things. He came back down within a minute, not even glancing as Vernon and Petunia tried to bring Marge back to consciousness. Without a word, Nnoitra left.

He had enough of this shithole since he was five.

* * *

He stood his ground and stared. Across the street, emerging from the bushes, a large black dog. The lights reflected off its eyes, giving it an eerie look. It barked at him, showing large fangs. Not wanting to pull Santa Teresa out where anyone could easily see, he pulled out his wand. "Lumos," he said lowly before the wand tip suddenly glowed, giving off a powerful light despite its small size. He lifted the wand up and looked around. The dog was gone.

BANG!

**Master, get back!**

Quickly, Nnoitra jumped back, but his feet hit his trunk, effectively making him fall backwards. "Fucking trunk," he growled as he sat up. He blinked as a bright light flashed over his eyes before a triple-decker bus was suddenly in front of him.

* * *

"What were you doing down there?" the conductor asked, looking down at Nnoitra.

With a growl, Nnoitra got back to his feet. "Fell over," he admitted.

"'Choo fall over for?" Stan sniggered.

"I didn't do it on fucking purpose, asshole," Nnoitra growled at him then looked around the edge of the bus. The dog was gone, probably scared off by the noise.

"'Choo looking at?" Stan asked, looking as well.

Nnoitra shoved him. "None of your damn business," he said, annoyed. "So this thing goes anywhere?"

"Yep," Stan answered as Nnoitra went in, grabbing the trunk behind the teen. "Anywhere you like, long's it's on land. Can't do nuffink underwater. 'Ere, you did flag us down, dincha? Stuck out your wand 'and, dincha?"

Thinking for two seconds, Nnoitra nodded. "How much for London, Leaky Cauldron?"

* * *

The Knight Bus had to be the most annoying ride Nnoitra ever had. With its weaving and jerking around, he nearly fell off his bed a couple times and almost hit a window a few more times. Damn people don't know how to drive.

The conductor looked right at home, reading the paper. Nnoitra narrowed his eyes at the picture on the front cover. "That guy was on the Muggle news," he commented.

Stan, hearing him, nodded. "Sirius Black. 'Course 'e was on the Muggle news. Where you been?"

"In a fucking hellhole, shut up," Nnoitra snorted.

* * *

"He murdered thirteen people with one damn curse?" Nnoitra asked after reading the brief mention of Black. Unlikely. Even a cero couldn't kill that many in one go. Unless it was shot from above and spread out, or the individual using the cero was extremely powerful, like Espada level.

"Yep," Stan replied. "In front of witnesses an' all. Broad daylight. Big trouble it caused, dinnit, Ern?" The man growled a response. "Black woz a big supporter of You-Know-'Oo."

"Voldemort?" Nnoitra snorted.

Stan paled drastically and Ern jerked the steering wheel hard enough that a farmhouse had to jump to the side to avoid being hit. How it jumped out of the way, Nnoitra did not know nor care to know.

"'Choo say his name for?" Stan exclaimed.

"Grow a fucking pair. It's just a damn name."

* * *

"I am Cornelius Fudge, Harry. The Minister of Magic."

"Well you already know who the hell I am," Nnoitra scoffed, looking away from the minister. "So, here for the wand? Snap it in half? Expel me from school? What?"

"Goodness, no!" the man chuckled, much to Nnoitra's confusion. "I must say, you've had us all in a right flap, running away from your aunt and uncle's house like that. I'd started to think… but you're safe and that's what matters."

**There is something going on here.**

_Yeah, I kind of figured that much._

"Now then, you will be pleased to hear that we have dealt with the unfortunate suffocation of Miss Marjorie Dursley. Two members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Department were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago. Miss Dursley has been revived and her memory has been modified. She has no recollection what so ever. So that's that and no harm done."

Nnoitra just stared at him. "That's it?"

"Ah, you're worrying about the reaction of your aunt and uncle? Well I won't deny that they are extremely angry, but they are prepared to take you back next summer as long as you stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays."

"I always stay at the damn school during the holidays," Nnoitra pointed out with a glare. "I don't want to be around those little fucks longer than I have to. In fact, I don't ever want to go back to that little pile of shit they call their house!"

"Now, now," Fudge attempted to placate, ignoring Nnoitra's colorful language. "They are your family, after all. I'm sure you are fond of each other – er- very deep down."

"You're fucking delusional," the teen sneered. "How about you just tell me what the hell my damn punishment is so that we can go our separate ways already?"

"Punishment?" Fudge repeated, confused.

"Uh, yeah," Nnoitra replied like he was talking to a toddler. He may as well be. "Damn house elf fucks around in the house last year and I got a note saying no more magic or nor more school. Mind explaining that shit?"

"Oh, my dear boy!" Fudge exclaimed. "We're not going to punish you for a little thing like that. It was an accident! We don't send people to Azkaban just for suffocating their aunts!"

"You're full of fucking shit, you know that?"

"Surely you don't want to be expelled?"

"Hey, don't turn this bullshit around on me!" Nnoitra yelled. "And no, I don't. I'm having a little too much fun there."

"Well then, what's all the fuss about?"

**How about it being about a very confused former Espada?**

_I don't think he fucking cares._

* * *

"Harry!" someone called to him. "Harry!"

He turned around and smirked. Tesla spotted him. "Hey, wasn't expecting you for another day," he greeted his Fraccion.

"It's the last week, sir," Tesla pointed out as the two started on their way to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. "And just a warning, I did see those other two around here earlier. I think they were looking for you."

Nnoitra growled. "When will those two learn that I don't give a shit about them and don't want them following me everywhere?"

"Probably never," the younger boy sighed.

* * *

It was fluffy and orange, a squashed face and yellow eyes that just kept staring at him. Nnoitra just stared right back.

Crookshanks, little know-it-all bitch's new feline companion.

And he already got the feeling that having that cat around will be a pain in his ass.

* * *

_Why is it that no matter how hard I try to mind my own business, shit just happens to me?_

"…makes no sense not to tell him," the Weasley patriarch heatedly said. "Harry's got a right to know. I've tried to tell Fudge, but he insists on treating Harry like a child. He's thirteen years old and-"

And that is why he is even listening in the first place. Treat him, Nnoitra Gilga, as a damn child who can't handle one little bit of news? Do they think him so weak that he can't handle anything?

He faced against Neliel in her released form, beat the Shinigami Kurosaki (though he was already beaten up pretty bad by Grimmjow…oh, doesn't matter), and battled Zaraki Kenpachi! And died the death he wanted! Thank you very much!

"Arthur, the truth would terrify him!" head Weasley bitch shrilled. "Do you really want to send Harry back to school with that hanging over him? For heaven's sake, he's happy not knowing!"

_Fuck no, I'm not!_

**I'm sure they do this for your own good.**

_And whose side are you on?_

"I don't want to make him miserable, I want to put him on his guard! You know what Harry and Ron are like, wandering off by themselves – they've ended up in the Forbidden Forest twice! But Harry mustn't do that this year!"

_For the record, I didn't ask dipshit to follow me. He just did._

"When I think what could have happened to him that night he ran away from home! If the Knight Bus hadn't picked him up, I'm prepared to bet he would have been dead before the Ministry found him!"

**Well that's insulting…**

_Do they really think I'm that fucking weak?_

"But he's not dead, he's fine, so what's the point-"

"Molly, they say Sirius Black's mad, and maybe he is, but he was clever enough to escape from Azkaban, and that's supposed to be impossible. It's been three weeks, and no one's seen hide nor hair of him, and I don't care what Fudge keeps telling the Daily Prophet, we're no nearer catching Black than inventing self-spelling wands. The only thing we know for sure is what Black's after-"

"But Harry will be perfectly safe at Hogwarts."

_Yeah, 'Harry' is perfectly safe so long as he can fight, you know?_

"We thought Azkaban was perfectly safe. If Black can break out of Azkaban, he can break into Hogwarts."

"But no one's really sure that Black's after Harry-"

**Another fun year, Master?**

_Apparently._

"Molly, how many times do I have to tell you? They didn't report it in the press because Fudge wanted to keep it quiet, but Fudge went out to Azkaban the night Black escaped. The guards told Fudge that Black's been talking in his sleep for a while now. Always the same words: 'He's at Hogwarts…he's at Hogwarts.' Black is deranged, Molly, and he wants Harry dead. If you ask me, he thinks murdering Harry will bring You-Know-Who back to power. Black lost everything the night Harry stopped You-Know-Who, and he's had twelve years alone in Azkaban to think about it."

_Another really fun year._

* * *

**This many people and only two cars? How is that the normal people don't notice it? After all, if someone was driving such an old vehicle, they should notice.**

Santa Teresa couldn't help but ask as the Weasley clan crammed into the two old-fashioned vehicles provided for them. Anyone who walked by just didn't notice how person after person disappeared into a car, like clowns into a very tiny vehicle.

_Normal people are kind of blind and idiotic._

**Now it all makes sense.**

* * *

"Harry!" a voice yelled out happily before a familiar mousy-haired boy was in front of him.

"Hey, Colin," Nnoitra greeted with a smirk, ruffling the younger boy's hair slightly. "Another fun year. Wait until you hear what the fuck I got after me this time."

Tesla laughed gently. "I heard about that woman this summer," he casually said, swinging his arms.

"Bitch insulted me, called me weak, bad blood, and other kinds of shit," Nnoitra growled. "Also insulted my parents."

"Your parents?"

Nnoitra nodded once. "Well, to have a son as fucking strong as me, they can't be just any damn pair of weaklings, right?"

Tesla sighed gently with a soft smile and a slow shake of his head.

"Harry," Mr. Weasley called to him. "Come over here a moment."

Nnoitra patted Tesla's shoulder. "Get on the train with the dipshit and bitch," he said. "I'll find you in a bit." Tesla nodded before Nnoitra walked off.

**I bet you it's about Sirius Black.**

_Bet you you're wrong._

**Bet you you're an asshole.**

_Bitch, I kill people!_

"There's something I've got to tell you before you leave-" Mr. Weasley started.

"Yeah, I know," Nnoitra scoffed. "I overheard you two arguing about shit concerning me and Black. I caught enough to know what's going on."

**Bet you I'm right.**

_Shut up…_

"Harry, you must be very scared-"

"Fuck no, I'm not scared!" Nnoitra exclaimed. "Hell, I am not scared of anything or anyone. Voldemort can walk right in here and I'll just laugh at his ass! Why? Because he's weak. Black is weak. They are all fucking weak. I am not scared of a damn thing."

Arthur seemed a little stunned then sort of stammered. "Harry, I knew you were, well, made of stronger stuff than Fudge seems to think, and I'm obviously pleased that you're not scared, but-"

"Arthur!" Molly Weasley screamed over the crowds. "Arthur, what are you doing? It's about to go!"

"He's coming, Molly!" Arthur yelled back before looking back at Nnoitra. "Listen, I want you to give me your word…"

"Not a fucking chance in hell," Nnoitra said, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"Harry, swear to me that you won't go looking for Black. No matter what happens or what you hear, promise me you won't go looking for him."

Nnoitra snorted slightly and rolled his eyes. "I don't make promises like that," he pointed out. "If this asshole is coming to try and kill me, I say bring it on, because I'm not a fucking pathetic coward."

* * *

On one side of the compartment sat Ron, Hermione, and some shabby-looking man. On the other, Tesla stretched out on the bench. When Nnoitra came in, he sat up and Nnoitra sat by him.

"Who's that guy?" Nnoitra asked, nudging his head towards the adult.

"Professor R. J. Lupin," Hermione replied knowingly.

"How do you know that?" Ron asked in disbelief.

Hermione sighed and pointed above her head. "I saw it on his case when we came in," she replied.

"Well, I suppose he'll be our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Tesla stated, tugging on his hair boredly. "Though he looks like a good spell will knock him right out."

**He's not really asleep.**

_Eavesdropper, huh?_

**Well he was here first if what Hermione said was anything to go by.**

…_I'll give you that one._

"So, you said you had something coming after you this year," Tesla pointed out, looking at Nnoitra. "May I ask what you meant?"

"Huh?" Nnoitra looked at Tesla and shook his head. "Oh, that. So turns out that fucker Sirius Black broke out of Azkaban and is supposedly coming after my happy ass to kill me for Voldemort. Then there's dipshit's father telling me that no matter what, I mustn't go looking for the guy."

"Sirius Black escaped to come after you?" Hermione cried out.

"Uh, yeah," Nnoitra scoffed. "I just said that, bitch."

"Oh," Hermione huffed. "Harry, you have to be really careful. Don't go looking for trouble."

"He doesn't need to," Tesla commented. "It has a habit of finding him. No matter what."

"Hey, you swore to never mention that again," Nnoitra stated, pointing at the younger boy.

* * *

The Sneakoscope went off, whistling loudly and flashing brightly. Nnoitra stuffed it back into his trunk and shared a look with Tesla.

Three others they are not able to trust. Which one, though?

* * *

"We can't be there, yet," Hermione said, looking at her watch.

"So why the hell are we stopping?" Nnoitra asked, looking out the window. Tesla followed his gaze. Something is out there.

The train stopped with a jolt. Noises in the distance told of luggage falling. Then all the lights went out.

"What's going on?" Ron whimpered.

"Ouch! Ron, that was my foot!"

"It may be a better idea to just sit so no one else gets stepped on," Tesla commented from his seat.

"Do you think we've broken down?" Ron asked.

"Hell if I know…" Nnoitra answered before they hear a slight squeaking noise.

Ron was at the window, wiping away some of the condensation to peer outside. "There's something moving out there," he said. "I think people are coming aboard…"

"In the middle of fucking nowhere?" Nnoitra scoffed. "And there's been something out there since before the damn train stopped." The door suddenly opened and someone fell over on Nnoitra's legs. "Fucking hell! Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry," a familiar voice said. "D'you know what's going on – Ouch – sorry -"

Neville was grabbed and pulled onto a seat. Tesla reached out and grabbed Nnoitra's arm then moved over until he was against him. Ron sat on the seat Tesla vacated.

"I'm going to go and ask the driver what's going on," Hermione declared. Nnoitra felt her pass him, heard the door open, and snickered at the two loud squeals of pain.

A very short confrontation later that ended with Ginny nearly sitting on Nnoitra, which he very loudly protested against, a hoarse voice suddenly spoke. "Quiet!"

They were silent for two seconds, then Nnoitra spoke. "Seriously?!" he exclaimed. "All this other shit that happens and even bitch over there trying to wake your ass up, this is what wakes you the hell up?!"

"Forgive him, sir," Hermione quickly placated. "Harry has a problem with his language."

"There isn't a damn thing wrong with my fucking language, bitch," Nnoitra shot back.

"Enough!" Lupin ordered again, hand full of fire held out in front of him. "Stay where you are."

"Make me."

Tesla sighed.

Lupin approached the door, but it opened before he touched it. A cloaked figure stood in the doorway, towering to the ceiling. Its hood hid its face completely, not even its mouth was visible. The only thing visible on this unusual being was the grayish, slimy-looking, and scabbed hand. It inhaled a low, rattling breath, like it was trying to suck something out of the air.

Nnoitra hated this feeling. He felt cold. He could feel Tesla shaking against him, though refusing to whimper. Nnoitra tried to ward off the cold feeling, but it was just too deep. Then his world went dark.

**Master!**

'You dumbass! Run away, Tesla!'

'You are a beast. I do not acknowledge you as a fellow warrior.'

'Welcome, companion.'

'How many times do I have to repeat myself? I will not unsheathe my blade…not against the likes of you…'

'I have a reason! I hate you!'

"Harry! Harry! Are you alright?"

Someone slapped his face.

Not caring whom, he reached up and slapped back. "Don't fucking hit me," he growled as he sat up. He pressed a hand against his forehead, trying to stave off the throbbing headache. "What the hell happened?"

A snap made him jump slightly, not expecting the noise, before a piece of chocolate was held out for him to take. "Here," Lupin said. "Eat it. It'll help."

"Fuck that," Nnoitra growled, not taking the chocolate.

"He's the type of person not to accept pity from anyone," Tesla pointed out from his spot. "Or help."

Nnoitra snorted and rolled his eyes. "So anyone want to tell me what the fuck that thing was?"

"It was a dementor," Lupin answered, breaking apart a bit more chocolate for everyone else. "One of the guards of Azkaban." He looked at Nnoitra and sighed, offering him some chocolate again. Nnoitra took it mainly to get the guy to stop bugging him. "Eat. It will help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me."

Nnoitra chuckled. "I don't blame Black for running the hell away." He looked up at Tesla. "So, Colin. What the fuck happened?"

Tesla chewed on his bottom lip nervously. "Well, that thing came in here and looked around," he started. "You were sort of twitching and you blacked out for a moment. Professor Lupin told it that none of us are hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks, but it didn't listen. So he cast a spell and whatever he used chased it away."

"Wait, wait, wait," Nnoitra broke him off. "I fucking blacked out?"

"And mentioned somebody named Nel," Hermione chipped in.

"I hate that bitch," Nnoitra commented with a sour face.

_It's weird though, that I remember her of all people._

**You remembered points in your past life that angered or depressed you**.

_And then it all makes sense…_

* * *

"Welcome," Dumbledore greeted, smiling happily at all the students.

Nnoitra gagged.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…"

"Of fat and grease," Nnoitra commented lowly, earning a chuckle from Tesla.

"As you will all be aware of after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business."

A short string of curses escaped Nnoitra, earning an amused glance from Tesla and annoyed ones by Ron and Hermione.

"They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises – or even Invisibility Cloaks. It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors."

**Those creatures…are very frightening, Master. They are not too different from Hollows, but they are much more dangerous. I felt that fear…**

Noting Santa Teresa's comment, Nnoitra looked along the row of teachers out of boredom, as he has done since he started at this school.

"On a happier note," Dumbledore continued. "I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year."

_Weird, I only see one new face._

**Perhaps someone already here became a teacher?**

"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck, Professor."

* * *

"As to our second new appointment," the Headmaster went on after a small applause for Lupin faded into silence. "Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs." Nnoitra attempted to hold back a chuckled at that, and failed. "However, I am delighted to say that his place will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties."

Many people applauded Hagrid, mainly from the Gryffindor table. Nnoitra just didn't care, not really. The guy would probably be better than the other one since he not only hatched a dragon, but raised a giant mutant spider, wanders into its home and get surrounded by its children, raised a Cerberus, and goes into the forest filled with dangerous creatures a lot. Without any fear what-so-ever. If he can't handle the job, no one can.

"We should've known!" the red-headed boy roared. "Who else would assign us a biting book?"

"Someone with a sense of humor," Nnoitra quipped with a grin. His book gave up on biting him after it was thrown into a wall three times, elbowed five times, stomped on six times, and even was bitten back once. Yeah, the book decided it was best for its health to just be good.

* * *

Tesla was up when Nnoitra woke, dressed and ready to go down. Knowing Nnoitra is generally in a foul mood without some kind of food in the morning, Tesla remained quiet. Nnoitra was very thankful for it.

Malfoy, though, never did get the idea. He was entertaining a group of Slytherins with a funny story then proceeded to do a (fail) swooning fit before the group erupted in laughter.

"He's a bit of an idiot, isn't he?" Tesla asked, trying to stay between Nnoitra and Malfoy.

Nnoitra scoffed in annoyance. "Let him try some kind of shit," he growled. "I'd be glad to give him a fucking beating."

"Hey, Potter!" a pug-faced Slytherin girl called out. "Potter! The dementors are coming, Potter! Woooo!"

"Hey, bitch!" Nnoitra snapped, only held back by Tesla pushing against his chest. "How's the fucking sex, you damn whore?! Spreading your legs for anything with a dick? I bet a little bitch like you fucks dogs!"

Tesla actually laughed lightly at that, finding it a little humorous. "Harry, we should just go and sit down," he tried to calm down Nnoitra.

"Fuck that, that bitch over there is asking for it!" Nnoitra continued yelling. "You hear me? You're fucking asking for me to come over there and beat your damn ass! Bet you're just a damn skank who only thinks you're better than anyone else when you're just fucking TRASH!"

The whole Hall was stunned into silence.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for your language," Snape stated, breaking that silence. "And another twenty for insulting a student."

"Fuck you, you piece of bat shit!"

"He's just cranky without food, sir!" Tesla quickly explained. "He'll calm down once he eats something!"

Inside of Nnoitra's mind, Santa Teresa facepalmed.

* * *

"Welcome," a voice from the shadows of the room spoke. "How nice to see you in the physical world at last."

Nnoitra blinked at her in shock. She looked like a glittering insect, thin with large glasses that magnified her eyes and draped in a gauzy spangled shawl.

"Sit, my children, sit," she said as the students awkwardly sat in the armchairs scattered around the room. "Welcome to Divination. My name is Professor Trelawney. You may not have seen me before. I find that descending too often into the hustle and bustle of the main school clouds my Inner Eye."

**Inner Eye?**

_Divination, the ability to see into the future._

**You believe this?**

_Not a chance in hell._

**Then why take this class?**

_Because I felt like it. I thought I could use it as another nap class._

**With these smells, I don't think so.**

_Yeah. Same._

* * *

"So what's in mine?" Ron asked him as Nnoitra lazily spun the cup around. Maybe he can get into another class…

"Soggy brown shit," Nnoitra replied, flicking the cup to the side.

"Broaden your minds, my dears," Trelawney exclaimed. "And allow your eyes to see past the mundane!"

Nnoitra just stared at her like she was crazy before rolling his eyes. "So fucked up cross – trials and suffering – hey you'll learn from it. A damn sun, so great happiness. Fuck this shit. You're gonna suffer but be happy about it. How fucked up is that?"

"I think you need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me," Ron commented, taking Nnoitra cup. He kept commenting about it, but Nnoitra mainly ignored him until Trelawney took the cup and looked at it herself. Great enemy…yeah. Who doesn't know that? Danger coming his way…when isn't it? He'd like to know. An attack…bring it. Not a happy cup? Well he's not a happy guy.

Suddenly, she screamed and shoved the cup back onto the table.

"My dear boy… my poor, dear boy…no…it is kinder not to say…no…don't ask me…"

"Fucking shut up," Nnoitra sneered. "I've seen better drama from a fruitcake." _No offense, Szayel._

**I'm telling.**

"My dear," Trelawney went on, ignoring his language. "You have the Grim."

"Speak English, bitch," Nnoitra snapped. "And stop calling me 'dear'."

"The Grim, my dear, the Grim! The giant, spectral dog that haunts churchyards! My dear boy, it is an omen – the worst omen – of death!"

Nnoitra just stared at her. "Uh-huh," he dragged out. "Right. I believe they are trying to locate you for the damn loony bin. You're fucking scared of something that is inevitable? You're shitting me. Everyone in this room is dying. Every fucking second of every fucking day, we get older and closer to death. It's bullshit to be afraid of it."

_Especially when you know what's on the other side._

* * *

"So what's this all about?" Tesla asked at lunch, chewing on a stalk of celery.

"Crazy bitch teacher saw a stupid Grim in my damn teacup," Nnoitra replied as Hermione and Ron argued over the Grim cup. "Supposed to be a death omen in the shape of a damn mutt."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Ron suddenly yelled at Hermione. "Grims scare the living daylights out of most wizards!"

"There you are, then," Hermione pointed out. "They see the Grim and die of fright. The Grim's not an omen, it's the cause of death! And Harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, I'd better kick the bucket then!"

"So that's why you keep her around," Tesla noted. "She's the common sense."

"I just can't get them to leave me the hell alone," Nnoitra stated. "I still think dipshit following me around is some kind of set-up."

"So why do you let him?"

"Amusement, mainly."

* * *

"God, this place is going to the dogs," Malfoy loudly complained as Hagrid went to fetch whatever creatures they were learning about today. "That oaf teaching classes, my father'll have a fit when I tell him-"

"Oh, just shut the fuck up," Nnoitra yelled at him. "My father this. My father that. Grow the fuck up, daddy's boy! The damn world ain't fucking fair! Learn to just suck it the hell up and take it like a man! Of course, a little bitch like you, I doubt you ever would."

**You tell him, Master!**

"How dare you-"

"What you gonna do, bitch boy?" Nnoitra challenged with a grin, tossing his monster book in the air without it trying to bite him. "You can't even handle a little book. What the hell make you think you can scare me?"

One of the girls suddenly squealed in glee, breaking off the confrontation. Everyone looked to where she was pointing.

Even Nnoitra had to admit the creatures were quite impressive. Their bodies, hind legs, and tails were that of horses, but their front legs, wings, and heads seemed to be from giant eagles. Steel colored beaks and large, brilliant orange eyes

**What beautiful creatures…**

"Hippogriffs!" Hagrid happily explained. "Beau'iful, aren' they? So, if yeh wan' ter come a bit nearer-"

Without hesitation, Nnoitra climbed onto the fence and sat on top of it, looking closely at the unusual creatures. The gray one seemed to watch him more than the others.

"Now, first' thing yeh gotta know abou' hippogriffs is, they're proud. Easily offended, hippogriffs are. Don't never insult one, 'cause it might be the last thing yeh do."

Nnoitra noticed Malfoy wasn't paying any attention, talking with his two gorillas in an undertone. If the idiot doesn't want to listen and ends up getting hurt, he'll have no one but himself to blame.

**You know he'll find a way to blame Hagrid.**

_You know I could just kick his ass._

"Yeh always wait fer the hippogriff ter make the firs' move," Hagrid went on. "It's polite, see? Yeh walk towards them, and yeh bow, an' yeh wait. If he bows back, yeh're allowed ter touch him. If he doesn' bow, then get away from him sharpish, 'cause those talons hurt. Right – who wants ter go first?"

No student stepped forward, but Nnoitra just grinned. "Hell, I'll do it!" He briefly heard someone mention his tea leaves.

_Fuck that._

"Good man, Harry! Right then – let's see how yeh get on with Buckbeak." He pulled away the gray one that Nnoitra was having a staring contest with earlier. "Easy, now, Harry. Yeh've got eye contact, now try not ter blink… Hippogriffs don' trust yeh if yeh blink too much… That's it, Harry…now, bow…"

Swallowing his pride for the sake of getting a little closer to this strange creature, he bowed half-way, keeping eye contact. The hippogriff studied him, but didn't move.

"Ah," Hagrid sounded a little worried. "Right – back away, now, Harry, easy does it-"

Then the creature suddenly bent its scaly front legs and sank into a bow. Nnoitra straightened up with a grin.

"Well done, Harry! Right – yeh can touch him! Pat his beak, go on!"

Without any fear, Nnoitra went up to the creature and gently patted its beak. Buckbeak closed his eyes as though he was enjoying the touch.

**So majestic.**

_I can appreciate a creature with this much pride._

* * *

_He has no one to blame but himself. Dumbass was warned and didn't listen._

**But you know this will come back and bite Hagrid in the ass.**

Nnoitra sighed, tuning out the arguments between Gryffindors and Slytherins about Malfoy's injured arm.

"So what happened this time?" Tesla asked. Being a year younger than Nnoitra, he couldn't have the same classes, so he had to be informed of things whenever they could meet up.

"Hagrid brought in some hippogriffs, said that if you insult them, they'll attack, and dumbass daddy's boy wasn't listening. Insulted the biggest one and got hurt. He fucking deserved it. His own damn fault."

"You know that-"

"She said the same damn thing," Nnoitra cut him off. "Twice."

Tesla just shrugged once. "Well, anyone at that class could vouch, I suppose?"

"Other than a Slytherin, hell yeah."

* * *

"How is it, Draco? Does it hurt much?"

"Yeah," Malfoy replied, putting on a brave (fake) grimace. "Pain comes and goes every once in a while."

"Faker!" Nnoitra yelled out. "Man, you are such a fucking wimp! Ow, you have a fucking cut on your arm. Must be painful. Try having broken bones in your entire fucking arm then have those bones vanished by some shit-for-brains idiot and then have them grow right back! That ain't a fucking walk in the park!"

"Harry," Ron spoke softly, trying to calm Nnoitra down.

"Shut the fuck up," Nnoitra growled at him then turned back to Malfoy. "I know pigs tougher than you. I know birds tougher than you. I know fucking cats and bats tougher than you. You are just a damn faker failing at drama."

* * *

"Nothing to worry about," Lupin said as the wardrobe shook. "There's a boggart in there. Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces. Wardrobes, the gap beneath the bed, the cupboards under sinks – I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third years some practice. So the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a boggart?"

Hermione raised her hand and answered almost immediately. "It's a shape-shifter. It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most."

**Aizen**.

_Gin._

**Tousen kind of freaked you out.**

_There's a difference between freaked out and scared of._

"Couldn't have put it better myself," Lupin said once Hermione was done talking. "So the boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears. This means that we have a huge advantage over the boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?"

Not expecting the question to be directed at him, he nearly jumped. Then he glanced around for a split second. "If the damn thing is supposed to scare us, I don't think it can do a good job is there's more than one of us," he pointed out. "Damn thing can scare one little shit, but not the other."

"I would not have put it so colorfully, but yes," Lupin said. "It's always best to have company when you're dealing with a boggart. Now the charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing."

**Aizen with purple hair and rainbow skin?**

Holding back a laugh, Nnoitra replied. _Maybe that stupid single strand of hair choking him? He always argued with the damn thing._

* * *

The spider rolled on the floor legless and stopped at Nnoitra feet. Before it could target him, however, Lupin called its attention to him. The boggart vanished and many looked around for it. They finally spotted it, a silver orb hanging in the air. "Riddikulus!" Lupin lazily called out. It popped and flew around like a balloon with escaping air. Neville had finished it off.

_What the hell was that about?_

* * *

The first Hogsmeade weekend arrived on Halloween. Nnoitra really didn't care much, but he hated being stuck in one place for too long. Both his stalkers were sympathetic to him, but he just brushed them off. Tesla just shook his head and wondered when those two will understand the number one thing about Nnoitra.

Malfoy taunted him as he passed, believing Nnoitra was too scared of the dementors. Nnoitra stomped at him, making the boy and his two bodyguard gorillas jump and run away in a scramble.

"So," Tesla drawled out. "Besides that sighting a while back, does anyone know anything about Black?"

"Hell if I know," Nnoitra replied with a shrug. "I want to know something first."

"Are you still angry about the boggart lesson?"

"Fuck yeah! I'm tired of everything thinking I'm some weak little shit that can't handle the fact that there's a fucking madman out there after me! As far as I fucking care, madmen have been after me since Hueco Mundo!"

**Does Aizen really count?**

_Yes, Aizen counts._

"You know they do this simply because they don't know you."

"I have made my point as fucking crystal clear as I damn well could! They're just fucking hard-headed!"

"At least they are used to your language now."

"There isn't a damn thing wrong with my fucking language."

"I wasn't saying there is. They have the issues. I'm used to you."

* * *

"Would either of you like a cup of tea?" Lupin offered. "I was just thinking of making one."

Nnoitra stuck out his tongue in disgust. "No, thank you," Tesla replied. He knows that Aizen had put many Espada off of tea…forever.

"Well probably a good thing," Lupin said. "I've only got teabags, but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves."

"How the hell do you know about that shit?" Nnoitra asked, leaning against the back of his seat.

"Professor McGonagall told me. You're not worried, are you?"

"Of what?" Nnoitra scoffed as Tesla went over to inspect the grindylow in the water tank. It pulled a face at him and he slapped the tank. "Of a fucking dog? Dogs are lazy! Or just plain flat bitchy, but mostly lazy."

"So nothing is worrying you?"

"Well, there is one thing, but it's more like pissing me off than worrying me." Tesla came back over to him and sat in the chair next to him. "Why the hell did you not let me fight the damn boggart?"

"I would have thought that was obvious, Harry," Lupin said, not denying the fact that is exactly what he did.

"Oh, do tell," Nnoitra scoffed with a wave of his hand.

"Well, I assumed that if the boggart faced you, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort," Lupin explained.

Tesla snickered and shook his head as Nnoitra glared at him. "Seriously? Does everyone think I am afraid of that fucker? Asshole killed my parents. I am not scared of him. I'm fucking pissed at him. I am not scared of that piece of shit. If I see him, I'll happily laugh in his face. Because he's weak and pathetic and I'll run him through."

"So what would the boggart take the shape of?" Tesla asked, looking up at Nnoitra.

Nnoitra shrugged. "For the longest time, I was thinking of another asshole of a madman," he replied, knowing Tesla understood exactly who. "Then for some reason, those fucking dementors came to mind."

"I see," Lupin thoughtfully commented. "Well, well…I'm impressed. That suggests that what you fear most is fear. Very wise, Harry."

"I am scared of nothing," he growled. "Wish you fucking idiots will get that through your heads." He rose and left, already annoyed with the conversation.

Tesla looked at the stunned professor. "He doesn't mean it in the rude way," he explained. "He just doesn't like it when people act that way to him. They bring back…unpleasant memories."

* * *

The Fat Lady was gone, her portrait shredded. Peeves seemed to have seen everything as Dumbledore interrogated him.

"You'll be lucky!"

"What do you mean, Peeves?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Ashamed, Your Headship, sir. Doesn't want to be seen. She's a horrible mess. Saw her running through the landscape up on the fourth floor, sir, dodging between the trees. Crying something dreadful."

"Did she say who did it?"

"Oh yes, Professorhead. He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in, you see. Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Tesla looked up at Nnoitra with curious eyes. Nnoitra seemed to be in deep thought. He knows what Nnoitra is really doing, though.

**Straight to the tower instead of Hogsmeade? If he's after you, wouldn't he check there first?**

_Unless he knows they won't let me out._

**Still, he could have looked through the school first before coming here, or waited somewhere he believes you would go.**

…_I'm starting to think there is something more than what is going on._

**Missing Szayel again?**

_He can figure this shit out in a heartbeat._

* * *

"Where's Lupin?" Nnoitra asked as he entered the classroom.

"He says he is feeling too ill to teach today," Snape replied with a twisted smile. "I believe I told you to sit down."

"Fuck off," Nnoitra growled. "What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing life-threatening. Five points from Gryffindor and if I have to ask you to sit down again, it will be fifty."

"You don't ask shit, you demand," Nnoitra pointed out as he went to his seat. "Always have, always will. Asshole."

Ignoring him, Snape looked around at the class. "As I was saying before Potter interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered-"

"Please, sir," Hermione spoke up, seeming to come out of nowhere. "We've done boggarts, Red Caps, kappas, and grindylows. And we're just about to start-"

"I don't think he fucking cares…"

"Be quiet," Snape ordered coldly. "I did not ask for information, I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization."

"Fucking better company than you," Nnoitra commented with a grin. "And from what I've seen, a better fucking teacher, too." A murmur of agreement circled around the room.

"You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly overtaxing you – I would expect a first year to handle Red Caps and grindylows. Today, we shall discuss-"

"You're damn ego or non-existent brain?"

"Werewolves. Page 394."

"But, sir," Hermione cut in again. "We're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start hinkypunks-"

"Miss Granger, I was under the impression that I am teaching this class, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394. All of you. Now!"

Nnoitra glared at him after scanning the page briefly. He's trying to blow someone's secret.

**Many facts on the werewolves match certain things.**

_I was thinking the same thing._

**…So your Defense teacher is a werewolf.**

…_Fuck…_

* * *

He flew higher and higher. The Snitch was in sight, only inches from his fingertips. He could hear everyone down below cheering as he and Diggory raced for the golden orb. Then, without warning, it all fell silent.

He couldn't hear anything, even Santa Teresa. If anything was wrong, she would start screaming at him. But only silence.

Cold then seeped into him, making him shiver before he looked down to see a swarm of dementors below him, quickly catching up to him. His limbs were starting to freeze. Cursing to himself, he dived down, straight into the swarm. Better to get past them, in his mind at least. The closer he got, the colder. Then everything went black.

'There was a time when we ceased to be Human and became beasts.'

'I never would've imagined that the power of the Espada I so painstakingly assembled would be less than mine alone.'

'You really must have no composure.'

'And then in becoming Arrancar, we regained our capacity for reason.'

'Just stay put and wait for our enemy.'

'One who possesses reason should require a reason to fight.'

'Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!'

* * *

He heard voices, outside of his head.

"Lucky the ground was so soft."

"I thought he was dead for sure."

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Shut the fuck up, you're all annoying," Nnoitra groaned hand on his head as he sat up. Tesla was immediately at his side.

"Harry!" one of the twins yelled. "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," Nnoitra replied, cracking his eyes open to see the entire team around him, as well as his two stalkers. Tesla just held out a damp rag that Nnoitra took and pressed to his head. "Alright, what the fuck happened?"

"Dementors came to the game and you flew straight at them," Tesla replied before anyone else could. "You fell nearly fifty feet."

"We thought you'd died," one of the chasers told him.

"Fuck that, I don't die easy," Nnoitra growled at her.

"He really doesn't."

"You were never supposed to bring that up, either!"

"By the way, your broom crashed into the Whomping Willow."

"…Well, damn. No more awesome rushes, then. And I was at twenty-seven Wronski Feints this year."

"What?!" Hermione shrieked.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you know me, Colin."

* * *

"If Snape's teaching class again, I'm skiving off," Ron stated as they approached the classroom door. "Hermione, check who's in there."

Nnoitra just snorted and walked right in without a care in the world. He liked having his arguments with Snape, but Lupin should be back by now. The full moon's gone, after all. The class started off with complaints and Lupin saying they didn't need to do the essay (but Hermione did it anyway), then went on about Lures. He didn't really pay attention.

Though when class ended, Lupin called him over. "I heard about the match," he said. "And I'm sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?"

"Fuck no," Nnoitra scoffed. "It's just a piece of wood with twigs for a damn tail. It's just a thing. Doesn't fucking matter anyway. I just enjoyed the damn rushes I got with it. Stupid fucking Whomping Willow."

Lupin sighed. "They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have stood a chance."

"Yeah, apparently," Nnoitra commented. "A car barely survived the damn thing. A fucking car. That now thinks for itself." He was silent for a moment then sighed heavily. "Heard about the damn dementors, too?"

"Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time… furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds… I suppose they were the reason you fell?"

Nnoitra growled loudly this time and grabbed his hair. "I'm not fucking weak!" he yelled. "So why the hell do they keep making me pass out like that?!"

"It has nothing to do with weakness," Lupin quickly placated him, hands on Nnoitra's shoulders. They were harshly removed. "The dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that others don't have."

**He has no idea as to how true that is.**

* * *

"Tell me how to get them to leave me the fuck alone," he demanded. "You made that one on the damn train back the hell off. So teach me how!"

"There are certain defenses one can use. But there was only one dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist."

"What defenses? Teach me!"

"I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting dementors, Harry…quite the contrary…"

"I'm not asking if you're a fucking expert! I'm telling you, teach me! I refuse to be weak to them again! I refuse to fucking fall to them one more time!"

For a moment, Lupin hesitated, then sighed. "Well…all right. I'll try and help. But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."

"I wasn't aware you can choose when to get sick."

"It would be nice to be able to."

* * *

He knows sulking about Hogsmeade would do nothing, so he didn't bother. Tesla kept him company. He didn't even bother watching the other students leave. Instead, he grabbed Tesla and wandered around, keeping any random conversation going. Until they were found…

"Psst – Harry!"

"Aren't those the Weasley twins?" Tesla asked as the two made their way over.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Nnoitra asked, crossing his arms. "Why aren't you at Hogsmeade wrecking havoc?"

"We've come to give you a bit of festive cheer before we go," Fred answered with a wink. "Come in here…"

Nnoitra looked down at Tesla, who simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Their idea of festive cheer better not be fucking," he commented. "If I ever run into Szayel in this life, he will tan and skin my ass and then rub salt all over my skinless self."

"You would enjoy it," Tesla stated offhandedly as the two followed the twins.

"…Yeah, I probably would."

"Masochist."

Once all four were inside the classroom, George closed the door and simply beamed a bright smile. "Early Christmas present for you, Harry," he said, holding out a piece of parchment.

Curious, Nnoitra took it and opened it up. Nothing. "And this piece of shit is supposed to be…what?"

"This, Harry, is the secret to our success," George replied, patting the parchment.

"It's a wrench giving it to you," the other continued. "But we decided last night, your need's greater than ours."

"Anyway, we know it by heart. We bequeath it to you. We don't really need it anymore."

"Uh-huh," Nnoitra said slowly. "You're both fucking insane."

"What does he need a piece of old parchment for, anyway?" Tesla asked, eyes looking over the parchment in case anything was hidden.

"Listen to this second year," one of the twins chuckled. "A bit of old parchment. Explain, George."

"Well…when we were in our first year – young, carefree, and innocent - "

"I fucking doubt it," Nnoitra quipped.

"-Well, more innocent than we are now – we got into a spot of trouble with Filch."

"Who doesn't?" Tesla asked this time.

"We let off a Dungbomb in the corridor and it upset him for some reason – "

Nnoitra and Tesla just looked at each other at this.

"So he hauled us off to his office and started threatening us with the usual –"

"Detention."

"Disembowelment."

**Don't say it.**

_When Szayel does it, kinky._

"And we couldn't help noticing a drawer in one of his filing cabinets marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous."

Tesla slapped his forehead. "Don't say you-"

"Well, what would you have done? George caused a diversion by dropping another Dungbomb, I whipped the drawer open, and grabbed this!"

"Fucking fascinating story," Nnoitra commented. "But why the hell are you giving me this piece of shit?"

"I think they're just winding us up," Tesla commented.

"Oh, are we?" George asked before taking out his wand and placing it lightly on the parchment. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"When are you ever?" Nnoitra asked with a smirk.

"Harry," Tesla called before Nnoitra's attention was back on the parchment. Lines spread all over its surface, twisting and crisscrossing until the entire top was covered. "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," Tesla read out loud. "Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present the Marauder's Map."

"We owe them so much," George stated casually before Fred started to show routes into Hogsmeade, pointing out which ones Filch knew about, which ones were closed, and mentioning one was under the Whomping Willow.

"Right, don't forget to wipe it after you've used it or anyone can read it," Fred pointed out. "Just tap it again and say 'Mischief Managed!' And it'll go blank."

The two left shortly after. Tesla looked back and forth between the map and Nnoitra. "I know you," he stated. "So, are we going?"

Nnoitra shrugged then grinned widely. "Hell yeah."

"You know you stand out like a sore thumb, right?"

"You know I don't really give a fuck, right?"

"I'm just saying."

"You're coming with."

"Okay."

* * *

They slipped out of Honeydukes undetected, even bypassing Ron and Hermione, who were around unusual flavored candies, trying to find out what to bring to him. They never seem to know that he doesn't like too much candy. He'll indulge once in a while, but that's it.

They could look and guess as to what was what, but Nnoitra spotted a road that led a bit past Hogsmeade and went down it. Tesla sighed, knowing once Nnoitra was curious about something, don't stop him.

"Fucking creepy looking, ain't it?" Nnoitra asked, staring at a old, rotten, and crooked building in the distance. "Bet Ulquiorra would hang out there."

"Yes," Tesla agreed with a smirk. "Though it looks like it may collapse soon."

"…I wanna go in it…"

**No.**

_You're not my mother!_

**No.**

_Damn…_

* * *

Later on, the duo managed to find their way to the Three Broomsticks, packed with so many people, no one would notice two others that aren't supposed to be there. Except for another pair of people.

"Harry!" Hermione called out harshly upon seeing him and Tesla sitting at a table, each holding a tankard of foamy, amber colored liquid. "What are you doing here? You'll get into trouble!"

Nnoitra chugged his drink uncaringly. Tesla looked over and raised an eyebrow. "We're just sitting here and enjoying a … butterbeer, I think it's called."

"You're not even supposed to be here, you're second year!" Hermione went on.

Sighing harshly, Nnoitra pointed at her and glared. "Shut the fuck up," he growled. "You're being nothing more than a noisy bitch."

"How did you get here without anyone seeing you?" Ron asked curiously. "Did you Apparate?"

Three pairs of eyes looked at him, one in confusion and the other two like Ron was an idiot. Then Nnoitra reached over and smacked him on the head. "Are you fucking retarded?"

"He possible is," Tesla replied with a smirk, sipping at his warm butterbeer.

* * *

Nnoitra and Tesla both hid once the teachers came in then Hermione moved a tree to block them from view. Tesla moved over slightly so Nnoitra would have a bit more room. Something was going on. The main topic, no surprise, was Sirius Black.

"You don't know the half of it, Rosmerta," the Minister stated. "The worst he did isn't wisely known."

"The worst?" the witch repeated in confusion. "Worse than murdering all those poor people, you mean?"

"I certainly do," Fudge replied with a sad nod of his head.

"I can't believe that. What could possibly be worse?"

"You say you remember him at Hogwarts, Rosmerta," Professor McGonagall pointed out. "Do you remember who his best friend was?"

Nnoitra suddenly felt a weight in his stomach. He did not like where this was going.

"Naturally," Rosmerta said with a light laugh. "Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here – ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!"

Both Nnoitra and Tesla choked.

* * *

"You'd have thought Black and Potter were brothers! Inseparable!" Flitwick commented.

"Of course they were," Fudge agreed. "Potter trusted Black beyond all his other friends. Nothing changed when they left school. Black was best man when James married Lily. Then they named him godfather to Harry. Harry has no idea, of course. You can imagine how the idea would torment him."

_Did no one think I should have known?!_

**They think you are a weak child who would fall to the slightest bit of bad news.**

_Oh, those assholes!_

* * *

After Hagrid cried out his story of the night Lily and James Potter were murdered, Nnoitra couldn't help but think about it. It made little to no sense. If Black turned traitor, then he would not have reacted that badly upon arrival to the house. Some people are very good actors, some naturals, but no one can make himself like that. Not to mention, if he really did change sides like everyone was saying, then he couldn't have let Hagrid just take him. He would have done something to take him away.

**Many pieces are there, but it seems we have the wrong puzzle.**

"But he didn't manage to disappear, did he?" Rosmerta stated with satisfaction. "The Ministry of Magic caught up with him the next day!"

"Alas, if only we had," Fudge bitterly stated. "It was not we who found him. It was little Peter Pettigrew – another of the Potters' friends. Maddened by grief, no doubt, and knowing that Black had been the Potters' Secret-Keeper, he went after Black himself."

"Pettigrew…that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?"

"Hero-worshiped Black and Potter," McGonagall confirmed. "Never quite in their league, talent-wise. I was often rather sharp with him. You can imagine how I – how I regret that now…"

**A new piece…**

…_Sounds like perfect ground for jealousy…_

**You don't think…?**

_We'll have to wait and see, I guess. Damn it, I am not the most patient person around!_

* * *

Buckbeak was to go to trial for the attack against Malfoy. All because a little brat didn't pay attention in class and got himself hurt.

"Fucking sucks to have someone with a dad holding that much power," Nnoitra commented after reading the letter Hagrid got. Hagrid wasn't blamed, but the animal was still to be tried, and probably executed.

"So we just say the government is full of assholes?" Tesla asked.

Hermione looked at him with an mouth opened in shock then glared at Nnoitra. "You're teaching him bad habits!"

Nnoitra snorted. "I don't teach Colin shit. He does what he wants."

* * *

Christmas arrived and Tesla gently woke Nnoitra up before Ron could wake him with his loud yelling. "Mm, what?" he groaned out.

"It's Christmas," Tesla replied.

"Unless one of the presents under the tree is Szayel in the leather outfit with a bow around his neck, not interested," Nnoitra replied, dropping his head back onto the pillow.

"No, but you got a Firebolt," Tesla pointed out, holding up the broomstick. "Supposed to be faster than the Nimbus."

Nnoitra turned his head and cracked open an eye. "Why the hell did you open one of my presents?" he asked.

"There was no name as to who it is from. I wanted to make sure it was harmless."

* * *

"Miss Granger has just informed me that you have been sent a broomstick, Potter," McGonagall stated.

"So?" Nnoitra scoffed, holding the broomstick over his shoulder like he would do with Santa Teresa. "Little bitch is a little tattletale. Big fucking deal."

McGonagall inhaled deeply. "May I?" She held out her hand. Nnoitra glared at her but passed the broom over anyway. The sooner she is done, the sooner he can fly again. He's behind on Wronski Feints. She examined it momentarily. "Hmm. And there was no note at all, Potter? No card? No message of any kind?"

Nnoitra looked at Tesla, who shook his head. "No," he replied.

"I see… Well, I'm afraid I will have the take this, Potter."

"What?!" Nnoitra roared out. "Hell to the fucking no! That is mine, you hear me! You have no fucking right to take it!"

"It will need to be checked for jinxes, Potter," McGonagall explained. "Of course, I'm no expert, but I daresay Madam Hooch and Professor Flitwick will strip it down-"

"Fuck no!"

McGonagall wasn't hearing any of his language anymore and left, his broomstick in her hands.

Nnoitra looked at Hermione. "You fucking bitch, I hope your fucking choke and the next damn thing that goes into your mouth."

Hermione sighed heavily. "I went to her because I thought – and Professor McGonagall agrees with me – that the broomstick was probably sent to you by Sirius Black!"

The three boys stared at her long and hard before Tesla spoke first. "If Black was trying to kill him, why send him a broomstick that impressive? Also, he's a highly wanted criminal. How can he walk into a shop and buy a broomstick?"

"I like Colin's logic."

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Creevey."

* * *

The large trunk shook. "What the fuck is that?" he asked, looking over at Lupin.

"Another boggart," Lupin replied. "I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking inside Mr. Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real dementor. The boggart, if theory is correct, will turn into a dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practice on him. There's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."

Nnoitra scoffed. "I am afraid of nothing!" he growled.

"Feeling fear is not a weakness, Harry," Lupin told him. "It's a natural reaction. It's perfectly normal. Everyone has a fear." Nnoitra just jerked his head away, ignoring Lupin's explanation. Lupin only sighed in defeat. "So, the spell I am going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, Harry – well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."

"Blah, blah, blah," Nnoitra mocked. "Let's just get on with this shit."

"Patience, Harry," Lupin scolded gently. "When it works correctly, it conjures up a Patronus, which is a kind of anti-dementor – a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the dementor. The Patronus is a positive force, a projection of the very things that the dementor feeds on – hope, happiness, the desire to survive – but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementor can't hurt it. But I must warn you, Harry, that the charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it."

"So what, you trying to say I'm not fucking qualified?" he asked with a smirk. "Shows what you know. Just tell me how the hell I conjure the damn thing."

"An incantation," Lupin replied calmly, ignoring Nnoitra's language once again. He got used to it faster than the other teachers. "It will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory."

"…Well, fuck!"

* * *

"Expecto patronum," Nnoitra spoke, pointing his wand at the dementor-boggart. His mind was fixated on seeing Tesla again, but when the boggart rose, his mind went straight to when Tesla died. Fighting hard against that terrible memory, he tried to go back to seeing Tesla again. "Expecto patronum. Fucking piece of shit! Expecto patronum!"

'After butchering 1000 weaklings, who the hell would acknowledge the fact that I'm the strongest?'

'Nnoi…tra? You…bastard…"

'Not Harry! Please- I'll do anything!'

**Master! Wake up!**

"Harry!"

Nnoitra jerked awake, laying on his back. He scowled to himself. Even a fake dementor can take him down. "Man, this pisses me off," he commented as he got to his feet.

* * *

Third time is the charm, or so the saying goes. The memory of Tesla wasn't strong enough, nor was the memory of finally establishing contact with Santa Teresa. So for the third, he thought about Szayel. Just random memories of him. When the boggart-dementor emerged from the trunk, Nnoitra managed to produce a silver barrier between him and the creature, forcing it back into its trunk.

"Excellent!" Lupin cheer. "Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"

"Fuck yeah!" Nnoitra exclaimed. "I'd like to see those fuckers try and mess with me again! One more time?"

"Not now," Lupin replied. "You've had enough for one night. Here." He held out a whole bar of chocolate. "Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Sometime next week?"

Nnoitra took with chocolate with a sour face. "I don't eat much candy," he pointed out. "Next week is fine." He was silent for a moment, just sitting there. "Hey. If you knew my dad, didn't you know Sirius Black?"

"What gives you that idea?"

"I know they were friends," Nnoitra replied uncaringly. "So, anything to share about that shit?"

"Not really," Lupin replied. "Yes, I did know him. Or, I thought I did. It's getting late, Harry. You'd best be off."

* * *

Tesla was with him this time, a little curious about the lessons. Lupin asked why he was there and Nnoitra replied plain and simple. "Colin does what the fuck he wants."

Once the lesson was over, Nnoitra and Tesla were sharing a bottle of butterbeer while Lupin had his own. He only brought two, thinking it would only be Nnoitra coming to the lesson.

"So what was the happy memory today?" Tesla asked, handing the bottle back over to Nnoitra.

Nnoitra grinned widely. "The leather outfit," he replied with a chuckle. Tesla facepalmed.

Lupin looked at both of them with a raised eyebrow.

"I have a question, Professor," Tesla spoke as Nnoitra took his drink. "What is under a dementor's hood?"

"Well, the only people who really know are in no condition to tell us," he started. "You see, the dementor lowers its hood only to use its last and worst weapon."

"What the fuck is that?" Nnoitra asked, handing the bottle back to Tesla.

"They call it the Dementor's Kiss. It's what dementors do to those they wish to destroy utterly. I suppose there must be some kind of mouth under there, because they clamp their jaws upon the mouth of the victim – and suck out his soul."

Nnoitra raised an eyebrow. _Fucked up mutant Hollows._

**I suppose…but there has to be something else to them…**

"So, they kill their victim?" Tesla asked.

"Oh no," Lupin quickly denied. "Much worse than that. You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you'll have no sense of self anymore, no memory, no… anything. There's no chance at all of recovery. You'll just exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever…lost."

**There, not quite like a Hollow**.

"That's…" Tesla started, unable to finish.

"Kind of fucked up," Nnoitra added.

"It's the fate that await Sirius Black," Lupin stated. "I read it in the Daily Prophet this morning. They Ministry has given the dementors permission to perform it if they find him."

"Again, kind of fucked up."

Tesla nodded his head in agreement, finishing off the butterbeer.

* * *

Good news, he got his Firebolt back and managed to do at least one Wronski Feint before going back to the commons. It is faster than his Nimbus and the rush was awesome.

Bad news (or good, depending on who you ask), chances are Crookshanks killed Scabbers, as stalker Ron seemed so ready to believe because of a little blood on the sheet and a few ginger cat hairs.

"If the cat did kill him, there would be more blood than that," Tesla pointed out. "Not to mention, you would find a corpse. Cats don't eat the bones, maybe even a few left over organs."

"Shut up, Creevey!" Ron roared at him.

Nnoitra just kicked him in the ass, making him fall to the floor, and walked away. He can go without all this bullshit drama.

* * *

As he constantly mentions before, Nnoitra is not an idiot. During the match against Ravenclaw, when three dementors were pointed out on the ground, he knew right away. One, they were just standing there, staring. He knows that with this much excitement, they would be flying around and feeding. Another thing, Dumbledore wasn't acting pissed off. Three, he doesn't hear anything from his past.

And four, Santa Teresa said so.

So he ignored them. When Cho tried to block him, he simply flew past her and caught the Snitch.

After he landed and was congratulated, he looked over to where the 'dementors' were. Just as he thought, fakes. Malfoy and his two gorillas as well as the captain of the Slytherin team, all four being chewed out royally from McGonagall.

Tesla was by his side in an instant. "I'm surprised you didn't attempt to kill them for that," he commented.

"They're just so fucking weak and idiotic," Nnoitra replied with a roll of his eyes.

* * *

Nnoitra was enjoying his dream, quite content. Then he was woken up by a fearful scream.

"What's going on?" one of the other boys asked as Nnoitra sat up and moved his drapes to the side. He could hear a door slam.

**Someone ran away…**

"Black!" Ron yelled from his bed. Nnoitra noticed one of the hangings around his bed was torn. "Sirius Black! With a knife!"

"Ok, fine, go the hell to sleep," Nnoitra scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"But he was here! Just now! Slashed the curtains! Woke me up!"

"Yeah, no shit. And you woke all of us up, asshole."

"You sure you weren't dreaming, Ron?" Dean Thomas asked him.

"Look at the curtains! I tell you, he was here!"

**Well someone was here.**

_But he wasn't bugging me, so they can all shut the fuck up._

Nearly all the boys ran out of the dorm, but Nnoitra stayed right where he was. Tesla came in shortly after the other boys left.

"I heard screaming," he pointed out, going over to Nnoitra's bed. "What happened?"

"Black was most likely in here and attacked dipshit in his sleep," Nnoitra replied.

"Oh," Tesla sighed, climbing into Nnoitra's bed and sitting at the foot of it. "Your trunk is at the foot of your bed with your name on it. Hard to miss."

"Not to mention, everyone knows I started at this damn school two years ago. So why the hell did he start going on about how I am at Hogwarts just last summer?"

"Maybe you're not his target," Tesla threw out as a suggestion.

Nnoitra just shrugged. "I'm going back to sleep. You can stay here if you want."

* * *

When the next Hogsmeade weekend came around, Nnoitra mentally debated with himself. Go or don't go. Well, he and Tesla did get a good look around when they last went.

"So go or don't go?" Tesla asked him as the other students with permission left.

"Fuck it, we're staying here," he replied. "I just don't feel like it today."

* * *

"Come with me, Potter," Snape sneered at him.

Nnoitra just glared back and grabbed Tesla. "He's coming, and I don't give a flying fuck if you like it or not," he stated. Tesla just sighed and shook his head slowly.

"Very well," Snape said, turning away and walking off. Nnoitra mocked him behind his back but followed anyway, Tesla trying not to snicker. After a while, they were in Snape's office.

"Sit," Snape ordered. Both remained standing, Nnoitra against a wall. "I said sit."

"I am not a dog," Nnoitra pointed out with a grin. "So fuck you."

Snape gave him a hard glare before smirking. "Mr. Malfoy has just been to see me with a strange story, Potter."

"So now I'm your personal diary, I feel so fucking loved," Nnoitra taunted.

"Silence. He told me that he was up by the Shrieking Shack when he ran into Weasley – apparently alone. He stated that he was standing, talking to Weasley, when a large amount of mud hit him on the back of the head. How do you think that could have happened?"

"Hell if I know," Nnoitra replied with a shrug. "He isn't the nicest asshole in the world. Neither are you. Someone hates him enough."

Ignoring the comment, Snape continued. "Mr. Malfoy then saw an extraordinary apparition. Can you imagine what it might have been, Potter?"

"How the fuck should I know what goes on in that asshole's damn head?"

"Harry…" Tesla sighed, rubbing his forehead. Snape is not the professor one would want to piss off, yet Nnoitra seems to have fun doing just that.

"It was your head, Potter. Floating in midair."

Both Nnoitra and Tesla were silent for a moment, then Tesla snickered. "That's bullshit!" Nnoitra yelled out. "I've been up in the damn tower all fucking day! Ask anyone there!"

"Ask a Gryffindor to cover you? When I know that all of them will agree with famous Harry Potter?"

"He was, sir," Tesla pointed out. "Even Professor McGonagall saw him in there. You can ask her. You know she will tell you the truth."

"Silence," Snape ordered. "You don't believe that I would take the word of a single boy who does nothing more than follow and worship Potter?"

"Back the fuck off!" Nnoitra yelled at him. "He isn't lying! I am not going to stand here and get pulled into some bullshit when I didn't do a damn thing to get into it! Your little rat likes to get me into trouble, and you fucking know it! Actually, all of your fucking snakes seem to want to get me into trouble. So back the fuck off or you're minced meat."

"Fifteen points off Gryffindor for threatening a teacher."

"Fuck you."

Seeming to still want to get Nnoitra into trouble, Snape spat out, "Turn out your pockets, Potter!"

* * *

"Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!" Snape growled out, hitting the parchment with his wand.

**Why are you even carrying that thing around?**

_Felt like it._

**Master… Oh, look. Something's showing up.**

Words were indeed appearing on the parchment. Tesla looked over and read them out loud, simply because that's just what he does. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." Nnoitra snickered. Snape just froze.

"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git." Nnoitra's snickers turning into badly concealed laughs.

"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that even became a Professor." The laughs are not so concealed anymore.

"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

"Hell, I like these fuckers!" Nnoitra cracked up.

Snape marched over to his fireplace and threw glittering powder into the fire. "Lupin! I want a word!"

After a few seconds, Lupin emerged from the fireplace_. In-school Floo…huh…_

**Don't even think about it**.

_I wasn't!_

**Master, I'm in your head. I know what you are thinking**.

…_Well, damn. I have no words for that. My words have failed me._

"You called, Severus?" Lupin mildly spoke.

"I certainly did," Snape replied, fury etched all over his face. "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this." He pointed to the parchment. Nnoitra and Tesla both noticed Lupin's expression.

"And suddenly, we're not here," Tesla commented.

"Well," Snape nearly growled. "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?"

"Dark Magic?" Nnoitra repeated with a smirk. "Just because you can't take a piece of fucking parchment insulting you, it's suddenly dark? Professor, you are fucked up in the head."

"I'm afraid I'll have to agree with Harry on this one," Lupin said. "About it being full of Dark Magic, I mean. It looks to me as though it is merely a parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop?"

"Yeah, Diagon Alley, Colin found it first and I thought it was funnier than hell," Nnoitra replied, nudging his head to Tesla, who nodded in agreement.

"Indeed?" Snape commented with a tight jaw. "You think a joke show could supply him with such a thing? You don't think he got it directly from the manufacturers?"

"I know I don't know any shits by those names," Nnoitra shot out before he was questioned.

"Yeah, can we go now?" Tesla asked.

* * *

"Can I have that back now?" Nnoitra asked.

"No," Lupin replied. "And I don't want to hear any explanations. I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr. Filch many years ago. Yes, I know it's a map. I don't want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn't hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around. And I can't let you have it back, Harry."

"Black got in twice," Nnoitra pointed out. "He actually made it to the damn dormitory last time. He had his chances to off me, and he failed. I don't think that damn map is gonna stop anything."

Lupin just held up his hand to silence Nnoitra. "Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry," he stated. "I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks."

"First of all, didn't even go this time," he pointed out. "Second of all, fuck you."

* * *

The case was lost, and Buckbeak was to be put to death. Nnoitra was just pissed. He liked that thing.

"Look at him blubber!" Malfoy taunted from a distance. "Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he's supposed to be our teacher! Stay away from me, Potter!"

As he spoke, Nnoitra came closer. With a smirk, Nnoitra pulled back a fist and threw it right into Malfoy's face, the force knocking Malfoy to the ground. "Want another? Maybe I can teach you some fucking manners." Malfoy picked himself up and scurried away, hand covering his bleeding nose. "Yeah, you better run, you pussy!"

* * *

Exams were long and boring. Nnoitra had to laugh at Hermione's Defense exam though. McGonagall-boggart telling her she failed everything. One by one, the exams came and went.

Then the Divination exam came around and the weirdest thing happened to Nnoitra. Trelawney, after dismissing him, went rigid and spoke in a harsh voice.

"It will happen tonight. The Dark Lord lies alone and friendless, abandoned by his followers. His servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight…the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master. The Dark Lord will rise again with his servant's aid, greater and more terrible than ever he was. Tonight…before midnight…the servant…will set out…to rejoin…his master…"

She snapped out of it within seconds. Nnoitra just stared at her. "Right, well you're a weird bitch." Then he left.

As soon as he made it to the common room, however, Tesla came up to him and handed him a small note written by Hagrid, Buckbeak will be executed at sunset.

"…Well that's fucked up!"

* * *

"Ron!" Hermione squeaked. "I – I don't believe it! It's Scabbers!"

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked.

Hermione came over with a milk jug and turned it upside down. Nnoitra and Tesla stared blankly as the rat tumbled out and tried to get back into the jug. The rat acted like he was trying to hide.

"Scabbers!" Ron exclaimed happily. "Scabbers, what are you doing here?" He picked the frantic rat up and held him in the air. "It's okay, Scabbers! No cats! There's nothing here to hurt you!"

"They're comin'…" Hagrid said. "Yeh gotta go. They mustn' find yeh here…go now…I'll let yeh out the back way."

After escaping through the backdoor and Hermione throwing the cloak over all four of them, they made their way up the lawn to the castle. Nnoitra stopped and turned around. He liked Buckbeak, and he was pissed about the injustice.

"Harry," Hermione called to him. "Oh, Ron. Please."

"It's Scabbers – he won't – stay put –" The rat then bit Ron. "Scabbers, it's me, you idiot, it's Ron."

"We need to go," Hermione tried to plead.

"Harry," Tesla spoke, placing a hand on Nnoitra's arm. He could feel it twitch, fighting the automatic reaction to swat the hand away. He sighed heavily and stared in the direction of the cabin. From their distance and with all the pumpkins in the patch, they could not see Buckbeak. The executioner raised his axe then brought it down.

"Fucking bullshit," Nnoitra commented.

"Ouch!" Ron suddenly yelled out. "He bit me!"

"Ron, be quiet!" Hermione scolded him.

* * *

The dog seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, jumping to them. Nnoitra blocked the paws that nearly hit his chest, falling to the ground from the force, and kicked the dog off. It yelped lightly, but didn't stay down for long. It grabbed Ron by the leg and started to drag him away.

"Lumos!" Tesla spoke, bringing light upon them. They were too close to the Whomping Willow. Any closer, and it would have hit them without them knowing it.

"Nice thinking," Nnoitra stated, easily spotting the dog dragging Ron through a large gap at the base of the tree. One of Ron's legs hooked onto a root, trying to stop the dog from dragging him anymore, but with a crack, his legs disappeared.

"Leave him to his death?" Tesla asked, looking at Nnoitra.

"Tempting," the taller boy replied.

"Harry!" Hermione yelled out. "That thing's big enough to eat him! We need to go after him!"

"Right," Nnoitra sighed. "I can dodge that damn thing pretty good, and so can Colin here. You, you're out of fucking luck. Besides, I kind of hate that guy."

"Well, we probably should," Tesla stated.

Nnoitra looked at him with a raised eyebrow before sighing harshly. "Fine, just so I don't have to listen to this bitch's screeching. And now that I think about it, I do not want to deal with dipshit's mother."

An orange blur shot by them and to the tree, stopping at the base before placing his paws on a knot on the trunk.

"Crookshanks?" Hermione whispered. "How did he know-?"

"Friends with the dog," Tesla replied. "I sometimes looked out my window and I would see them."

"How do you notice shit and I don't?"

"You're a heavy sleeper."

"Oh, right."

"Hello, we should go before the tree starts moving again!"

"Fine! Damn bitch…"

* * *

They exited the tunnel only to end up in a disordered and dusty room. Nnoitra looked around with hidden glee. He knows where he is.

_I got to go inside._

**Fine, but no trashing the place!**

_Santa Teresa, it's already trashed._

**Don't you have something important to do?**

_No, but I got something I don't want to do, to do._

"We're in the Shrieking Shack," Tesla pointed out, vaguely observing the paper-peeling walls, stained floor, and broken furniture.

A creak over their heads alerted their attention to activity above. Silently, they made their way up the stairs, following the wide line on the floor that showed something was dragged. They eventually reached a door and listened until they heard a loud purr and a low moan.

Nnoitra just shrugged and kicked the door open, showing a room. Crookshanks was laying on a four-poster bed. Ron was on the floor beside the feline, holding his strangely angled leg.

"That looks like it hurts like hell," Nnoitra commented as Hermione ran over to Ron. "So where's the damn dog?"

"He's probably right behind us," Tesla stated as Ron went on about someone being the dog, an Animagus. "Like a cliché horror movie."

"Will I regret turning around?"

"One way to find out."

In unison, both Nnoitra and Tesla turned around as the door slammed shut. Behind the door was a man with filthy, matted hair that hung to his elbows, dark eyes, and a nearly skeletal appearance.

"You look like shit," Nnoitra stated as Sirius Black approached them. "No, wait!" He looked at Tesla. "Doesn't he look familiar?"

"He's Sirius Black!" Hermione yelled out in fear.

Tesla stared for a moment. "He looks like Stark."

"Yeah, he does," Nnoitra replied. "Are you Stark?"

Sirius Black seemed so stunned by the question, he actually stopped in his tracks and looked at the two like they were insane. "I don't know anyone named Stark."

"You sure?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Well he doesn't seem the lazy type," Tesla started. "Maybe Stark's appearance but Lillinette's personality."

Nnoitra thought for a moment. "Yeah, I am not fucking seeing it right now," he sighed. "Well, not the Lillinette part."

"Will you two please take this more seriously?!" Hermione screamed at them.

"But he's Sirius!" Nnoitra and Tesla said at the same time.

Black blinked then let out a loud barking laugh. "Good sense of humor you got there," he complimented. "Brave as well. I thought you'd some and help your friend. Your father would have done the same for me. Brave of you, not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful…it will make everything much easier."

"You play the role of madman real fucking well," Nnoitra pointed out, crossing his arms.

"No, Harry!" Hermione cried out, reaching out and grabbing Nnoitra's arm to pull him back. He shrugged her off.

"If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us too!" Ron shouted at him, trying to stand.

"Lie down," Black told him. "You will damage that leg even more."

"Did you hear me?" the redhead went on. "You'll have to kill all four of us!"

"There'll only be one murder here tonight," Black told him, grin widening.

"Shut the fucking hell up!" Nnoitra suddenly shouted, hands over his ears. "You're so fucking annoying!" He sighed harshly. "Okay, here's the damn deal. I heard about you being the damn Secret-Keeper to my parents' house. Everyone thinks you are to blame for their deaths because everyone thinks you work for Voldemort. Now, did you?"

"I may as well have betrayed them," Black replied. "I may as well have killed them myself! But you, you don't know the whole story."

"The whole damn story?" Nnoitra chuckled, turning away for a second.

"It looks like there is always a story to be told," Tesla sighed as he went over to Ron and started to inspect the leg. "I think that at this point, he isn't a danger to us. After all, he seemed pretty concerned with Ron and his broken leg."

"Well fuck that shit!" Nnoitra stated, dropping to the floor and sweeping his feet under Black, successfully bringing the man to the floor. Black lost his grip on his wand when he landed, the wand sliding along the floor. Before Black could get back up, Nnoitra's foot was on his chest, pressing down to keep him down.

"Are you going to kill me, Harry?" Black chuckled. "You've got to listen to me. You'll regret it if you don't… You don't understand…"

"How many times to I have to tell you assholes to just shut the fuck up?"

Black looked at him in bewilderment. "I wonder where you got that mouth," he stated.

"Fuck you, that's where."

* * *

Lupin came in and used a Disarming spell to knock Nnoitra off of Black. Nnoitra was not happy with that. Lupin asked Black where someone was, then Black pointed to Ron.

"But then…" Lupin started, staring at Black. "…why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless…" His eyes went wide in some sort of realization. "Unless he was the one…unless you switched…without telling me?" Black nodded.

"You sound like the boyfriend who just found out his damn lover is cheating on him," Nnoitra commented as he got to his feet and dusted himself off. "So, what the fucking hell is wrong?"

Black and Lupin both looked at him. "Has he always talked like that?" Black asked, looking back at Lupin before the other helped him up.

"For as long as I have known him," Lupin replied then he embraced the thin man like a brother.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione suddenly screamed.

"Can you shut her up?" Nnoitra asked, looking at Tesla.

"Hermione-" Lupin tried, pulling away from Black.

"You and him!"

"Funny couple they make, eh, Colin?"

"I don't think this is the time for jokes, Harry."

"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione went on. "I've been covering up for you!"

"Hermione, please listen to me," Lupin continued to try. "I can explain."

"Stop with your damn screeching, you annoying bitch!"

"Harry, don't trust him," Hermione went on, raving. "He's a werewolf!"

Silence reigned for a moment. "So?" Nnoitra drawled out. "I've known that since that asshole Snape made us read about them. What's your damn point?"

"You knew?" Lupin asked.

Nnoitra scoffed. "Colin figured it out, too," Nnoitra said, jabbing a thumb to Tesla. "Hell, he read the same passage I did because I wanted a second opinion. Full moon was the night before and after that. Kind of fucking obvious." He looked at Hermione. "So him being a werewolf is ground for not trusting him? That's racist!"

"Specie-ist," Tesla corrected.

"I don't give a fuck!"

* * *

"So how the hell did you know he was here?" Nnoitra asked, leaning against a wall.

"The map," Lupin replied. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it."

"You know how to work it?" Tesla asked.

"Of course I know how to work it," Lupin replied, impatiently waving his hand. "I helped write it. I'm Moony – that was my friends' nickname for me at school."

Nnoitra snickered. "What, did you like to show people your full moon?" Black started to chuckle as well.

"Very mature," Lupin sighed. "Anyway, I was watching it very carefully this evening because I had an idea that you, Colin, Ron, and Hermione might try to sneak out of the castle to visit Hagrid before his hippogriff was executed. And I was right, wasn't I?"

"Good for you, you want a milkbone?" Nnoitra chuckled. He can't help it. Too many years of having no dog person to tease that actually reacts to the teasing.

"Can you please be serious for once?" Lupin asked.

"Do I look like I wanna be that guy?" Nnoitra asked, pointing to Black, who was starting to laugh again.

"Please don't encourage him, Sirius."

"I can't help it! He cracks me up!"

**Master, ten minutes of taking this as seriously as you can.**

_I promise nothing._

* * *

"Only new addition to our group was the rat," Tesla pointed out when Lupin was done with his explanation. "Then he showed up and grabbed Ron."

"Yes, he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow," Lupin went on.

"One of us!" Ron shouted in defiance.

"No, Ron. Two of you." He looked at Ron momentarily. "Do you think I could have a look at your rat?"

"What?" Ron squealed. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"

"Everything. Could I see him, please?"

Hesitantly, Ron reached into his robes and pulled the frantic rat out. Nnoitra grabbed him before the rat could do anything, holding it by the tail and glared at it. "Either you stay still, or I strangle you with your own tail," he warned. "Bite me, and I will bite back. Only I will take a chunk out of you." Scabbers froze, like he couldn't tell if Nnoitra was bluffing or not but didn't want to risk it.

Lupin moved closer, inspecting the rodent.

"What's my rat got to do with anything?" Ron nearly yelled.

"That's not a rat," Black stated.

**He's right…the reiatsu is not the same…**

"He's a wizard," Lupin added.

"An Animagus," Black supplied. "By the name of Peter Pettigrew."

* * *

Lupin's sad tale told, including the explanation of the map's creation and who was who, Snape had revealed himself. Snape went on about how he was right and Lupin tried to plead with him, to make him understand. Within seconds, Lupin was bound and gagged by ropes.

As he taunted Black, Nnoitra moved over to the door with Tesla, both of them blocking it. When he finally noticed, he scowled. "Get out of the way, Potter, you are in enough trouble already," he started. "If I hadn't been here to save your skin-"

"You are such an asshole," Nnoitra commented with a grin. "Do I look like the kind of fucker who needs saving? I'm the guy who runs into danger laughing because I relish the idea. Try it. I fucking dare you."

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape shouted. "Like father, like son, Potter! I have just saved you neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee!"

"FUCK YOU!" Nnoitra shouted right back before swinging a fist out and connecting it with Snape's jaw. The man staggered, but didn't fall. "I am fucking tired of all you assholes thinking I'm just some weak little shit!" He threw another punch, making Snape take a few steps back when it hit. "I am not weak! I don't need protection!" He kicked the professor in the stomach, this time making the man fall to the ground. "And if you think I will be thanking anyone for that kind of bullshit, you're mistaken! I'll beat you fucking senseless for it!" Another punch hit Snape on the head, this time knocking the man out.

**Your temper never ceases to amaze me**.

Tesla sighed heavily. "Well, can't say he didn't learn it the hard way," he stated. He looked over at Lupin. "Should I untie him?"

"Go ahead."

* * *

"We all thought that Sirius betrayed your parents and Peter tracked him down – but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father – Sirius tracked Peter down."

"Fuck all of you!" Nnoitra yelled. "He said he killed them before you showed up!"

"Harry…I as good as killed them," Black choked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me… I'm to blame, I know it… The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. I set out to your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house destroy and their bodies…I realized what Peter must've done…what I'd done."

"Enough of this," Lupin spoke with a steely tone. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Harry, hand over the rat."

Without asking why, Nnoitra tossed the panicking rat to Lupin, who caught Scabbers easy enough.

"What are you going to do with him?" Ron asked.

"Force him to show himself. If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him. Ready, Sirius?"

"Together?" Black asked.

"I think so," Lupin replied. "On the count of three. One…two…three!"

A flash of light shot from both wands. Scabbers was frozen in midair until he fell to the floor. Another light flashed and in the place of Scabbers was a short man with thinning, colorless hair, balding on top. Nnoitra took one look at the man and recoiled in disgust.

"Well, hello, Peter," Lupin pleasantly greeted. "Long time, no see."

"Sirius…Remus…" the man stammered out. "My old friends…"

* * *

"Harry," Pettigrew whimpered, reaching for the tall teen. "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed… James would have understood, Harry… he would have shown me mercy…"

Nnoitra kicked him away. "Yeah, my old man would understand you betraying him to Voldemort," he scoffed. "He would fucking understand you sending your master on him, his wife, and his son. Real fucking smart, asshole."

Pettigrew was grabbed and pulled back by both Lupin and Black, both holding him at wand point. "You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," Black growled out. "Do you deny it?"

The stout man started to cry. "Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord…you have no idea… he has weapons you can't imagine… I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me-"

"Don't lie!" Black roared. "You'd been passing information to him a year before Lily and James died! You were his spy!"

"He- he was taking over everywhere," Pettigrew continued with his pathetic appeal. "Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

**That sounds so familiar.**

'What will there be to gain from refusing his offer?' Tesla once asked him, back when he was a Adjuchas and Nnoitra was a Vasto Lorde.

'…Nothing…that's why we're going…If he can give me more power, make me stronger, then I am going. And I will be the strongest Espada.'

_Yeah. It does._

"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" Black went on, fury building up on his face. "Only innocent lives!"

"You don't understand!" Pettigrew whined. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

"You should have realized," Lupin told him almost quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter."

Before either could make a move, Nnoitra grabbed their arms tightly, making both wince and drop their wands, which Tesla quickly picked up. "Don't," he warned.

"Harry, this man-"

"I know," Nnoitra replied, releasing them. "And right now, I don't give a fuck. He's trash. Killing him won't bring my parents back. He's just a sniveling weakling. You could kill him, but what's the gain besides the end of twelve-year grudge?"

Tesla looked at Nnoitra in surprise. He had only ever acted like this on very rare occasions.

"Harry!" Pettigrew gasped, flinging his arms around Nnoitra's knees. "You – thank you – it's more than I deserve – thank you –"

With a scowl, Tesla kicked Pettigrew off of Nnoitra. "How dare you touch him, you filth," he nearly snarled. "You are not worth his time. Consider yourself lucky he even decided to spare your life."

"Colin, that's enough," Nnoitra said. Tesla back away with a slight nod of his head. Nnoitra then looked at Black and Lupin. "Asshole there may be the only one who can make you innocent, Black. If anyone deserves the fucking dementors, he does. We'll hand him over, no problem."

**Famous last words.**

_Shut up._

* * *

Nnoitra had to say something. "Anyone else think this group is a little fucked up? I mean, we're following a damn cat!"

"Well what can you do?" Tesla asked with a shrug.

"Harry, can I talk to you for a minute?" Black called to him.

"Sure," Nnoitra replied as he and Tesla let everyone else pass by them.

Black seemed a little unsure about Tesla staying behind with them, but looked like he didn't care after a few seconds. "You know what this means?" he suddenly asked as the two boys walked next to him. "Turning Pettigrew in?"

"Means you're fucking free," Nnoitra replied with a smirk.

"Yes…" Black agreed then sighed gently. "But I'm also – I don't know if anyone told you – I'm your godfather."

"Yeah, we know. Overheard a bunch of professors and the fucking minister talking about you in a public place. Idiotic assholes. Why do people do that?"

"Because no one else can generally hear them over their own conversations," Tesla supplied.

"Well," Black went on. "You're parents appointed me your guardian. If anything happened to them…"

Nnoitra looked at him in surprise.

_Is he saying…?_

**I think he is…**

"I'll understand, of course, if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle. But…well…think about it. Once my name's cleared…if you wanted a… a different home."

"So go live with you?" Nnoitra asked. Tesla watched the interaction with wide eyes.

"Of course I'd thought you wouldn't want to," Black quickly started. "I understand, I'd just thought I'd-"

"Are you fucking joking?" Nnoitra exclaimed with a grin. "Me? Stay with the damn Dursley bunch? You know, just before the school year started, I said I never wanted to back to their shitpile of a house ever again. Do you got a place? When can I move in? Wait, there isn't going to be a million and one rules, are there? I am not changing my language just because you fucking say so!"

"Breathe, Harry," Tesla chuckled. Nnoitra told him what life at the Dursley household was like. Considering he is still too young to look after himself (even though he knows Nnoitra can take care of himself perfectly well), Nnoitra would gladly take any chance he can get to live somewhere else.

"You mean it?" Black asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I fucking mean it!"

* * *

"No problem, huh?" Tesla playfully mocked as the full moon was revealed from behind a cloud.

"Shut up," Nnoitra groaned, watching Lupin's transformation. "Well, we went through the trouble of saving the dipshit, not to mention losing that asshole would piss me off…Stay here, Colin…"

"Okay."

"Harry, stay back!" Black tried to stop him, but Nnoitra evaded the arm that tried to stop him.

The fully transformed werewolf turned to him and snapped its jaws. Nnoitra wrapped an arm around the creature's neck and pulled him down to the ground, climbing onto the werewolf's back and holding on tightly. Lupin's claws dug into the earth as he thrashed about to try and throw Nnoitra off him. After a few thrashes, Nnoitra lost his grip and went flying.

"Harry!" Tesla called out, pointing to Pettigrew. The man was on his feet, Lupin's dropped wand in his hand and pointing it at Ron.

"Fucking stop him!" Nnoitra ordered as Black transformed and tackled the werewolf while he was distracted.

Tesla charged at Pettigrew, colliding with the man hard enough to knock him down. The wand flew from Pettigrew's hand.

Nnoitra turned his attention back to Black and Lupin, both canines fighting against one another. With Lupin's back to him, Nnoitra got to his feet and jumped on the werewolf again, arms wrapping around Lupin's neck. Nnoitra attempted to cut off air supply long enough for the werewolf to become sedated or pass out, but it only seemed to make Lupin fight more. A paw rose into the air and scratched Nnoitra's arms, leaving three long gashes.

"Just fucking stay still!" Nnoitra yelled as Black grabbed the limb to stop Lupin from scratching him again.

"Get back here!" Tesla yelled out.

Stupidly, Nnoitra looked over to Tesla. He was chasing something in the grass.

**Master! Pay attention!**

That brief moment was all the werewolf needed. With a deep snarl, Lupin went onto his hind legs sharply, throwing Nnoitra off once again. With another snarl, Lupin galloped into the forest.

"What happen?" Nnoitra asked as Tesla came over to him.

"I'm sorry," Tesla started. "He transformed. I tried to catch him, but I lost him in the dark."

Nnoitra sighed heavily, getting to his feet. At Tesla's words, Black suddenly took off as well.

* * *

There were hundreds of them, a giant black cloud of dread. Hermione had followed him and Tesla as they went after Black. She was already shaking, eye wide with fear. "Think something happy," Nnoitra ordered, holding up his wand. "Expecto patronum!" Many things flashed through his head, going back and forth between good and bad. He tired to hold onto the good, but they kept slipping away.

Next to him, Tesla and Hermione tried, but they couldn't bring out anything. After Nnoitra managed to bring out a mist, Hermione collapsed. Tesla seemed close to doing the same.

A dementor stopped in front of his misty barrier and moved its scabby hand like it was trying to push the Patronus away. "Fuck off! You're not getting anyone here!" he yelled at it.

The dementor then lifted its hands and pulled back its hood, revealing its disturbing face. Nnoitra gagged at the sight of the eyeless creature, but he had seen worse. "I said you're not taking anyone here, you assholes!" His Patronus did waver and eventually died. "Well, shit," he muttered, his whole body shivering.

Clammy hands grabbed him by the throat and lifted his head up. Its breath brushed his skin. His nose wrinkled at the putrid scent. He could hear his mother screaming.

Then a bright light suddenly erupted around the area. Nnoitra was dropped and he fell to his knees, trying to fight off the feeling of losing consciousness. He watched as bright form attack the dementors, pushing them away, before going to the opposite bank where someone familiar stood.

Darkness soon engulfed him.

* * *

Dumbledore believed them, but no one else. Then he made a comment about needing more time and told them not to be seen.

"So any idea as to what the fuck he was talking about?" Nnoitra asked, looking over at Tesla and Hermione.

"Come here, quick!" Hermione called, pulling out a very long and fine golden chain with a hourglass attached to it.

"Humor her?" Tesla offered.

"Why the fuck not? If there's a chance of this working…"

Hermione threw the chain over Tesla and Nnoitra's necks while keeping it around her own and turned the hourglass over three times, just like the headmaster told her. Everything pasted by them in a blur, seeming to be going in reverse.

Both Nnoitra and Tesla watched in confusion until everything slowed to a stop.

"Okay…What the fucking hell was that?"

"This is a Time Turner, Harry," Hermione explained. "I got if from Professor McGonagall on our first day back. It's how I've been getting to my classes all year. Now we've gone back three hours…there has to be a reason for this. Where were we going at this time?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "Hagrid's?" Tesla spoke.

"So what? We gonna save Buckbeak, fly him up to the office where they're keeping Black and break him out, then let him and Buckbeak escape together? Sounds like some fucked-up drama story."

"I think that's exactly what we're supposed to do."

"…Then let's go."

* * *

Nnoitra, Hermione, and Tesla watched as Hagrid opened the door, face white. Then Nnoitra heard his own voice. "It's us. We're wearing the damn Invisibility cloak. Let us the hell in and we can fucking take it off."

_Wow…I sound like an asshole!_

**You seem quite pleased with this revelation.**

* * *

"Move," Nnoitra told the hippogriff firmly, tugging on the chain harsh enough to bring Buckbeak to his feet. "That's more like it." A few more tugs on the chain and both Buckbeak and Nnoitra were hidden by the trees, Tesla and Hermione grabbing the chain to help pull the large animal.

They stopped briefly so they wouldn't be heard and listened to the conversation. As Hagrid kept saying 'Beaky', all three had to hold on tightly and tug back when the hippogriff tried to pull away.

"Well, this is strange," Tesla commented.

"When will I have a normal school year?" Nnoitra asked.

"You would be bored with a normal school year."

"…Yeah, you're right. Let's move it."

* * *

"Damn…"

"That's all you can say after attacking a werewolf?!"

"Yeah…Hey, how often can I say I fought a fucking werewolf?"

"Not often."

"Thank you, Colin. Bitch, you need to learn to relax."

"Ugh…"

"I think we should move now…"

"Why the hell should we? Front row seats!"

"Because Lupin will come running right at us."

"…Well…fuck it…"

**That's all you have to say?**

_Pretty much…_

**Just get to the damn lake.**

_Fine, fine…Bossy zanpakutou…_

* * *

Nnoitra and Tesla watched as the dementors came after them, Nnoitra's Patronus fading away. "You swear even in situations like this?" Tesla asked.

"Yeah," Nnoitra replied. He looked around. Someone was supposed to show up and cast a powerful Patronus, one strong enough to repel the dementor horde. He watched as a dementor grabbed his throat before growling under his breath.

"Time travel is so complicated," Tesla commented as Nnoitra left their hiding spot and raised his wand.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" A silver creature, female in appearance, shot out of his wand. Her wings open and flying straight at the dementors. Scythes emerged from her four arms, slicing away at the dark creatures. They fled before the glowing blades made contact.

"Well…what do you know? Oh, you passed out over there."

"Shut up, Tesla."

* * *

Black seemed shocked to see them arrive on the back of a hippogriff.

"Alohomora!" Hermione casted before the window sprang open.

"Get on, we'll explain later!" Nnoitra yelled, grabbing Sirius's arm before he could say a word. He threw the man onto the little spare space on Buckbeak's back before the creature flew up to the West Tower, narrowly making it before someone got to the room. Once landed, the three students slid off of Buckbeak and stepped back. "Beat it before they know you're gone."

"What happened to the other boy? Ron?" Sirius asked.

"He's fine, now fucking go!"

"How can I ever thank-"

"By beating it so you don't get your happy ass caught again! Now fucking leave!"

* * *

"Sirius is gone, on Buckbeak," Hermione panted.

"Well done. I think-" Dumbledore paused for a moment, listening. "Yes, I think you've gone too – get inside – I'll lock you in."

* * *

_That man has lost it…_

**He's just disappointed like Dumbledore said.**

_I laugh at the fucker._

* * *

"Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'… Thought everyone'd know by now… Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the ground las' night… He's packin' now, o' course."

"Are you shitting me?" Nnoitra asked. "I knew Snape was pissed, but damn! Why's he packing, anyway?"

"Leavin' isn' he?" Hagrid looked surprised Nnoitra even asked. Now that Nnoitra thought about it, it was kind of pointless. "Resigned firs' thing this mornin'. Says he can't risk it happenin' again."

Without a word, Nnoitra took off, Tesla right behind him. They reached Lupin's classroom in record time. Seeing his office door open, they went in there to see if he was still present.

"I saw you two coming," Lupin said, looking up from his desk. On it laid the Marauder's Map, wide open.

"You're leaving?" Nnoitra scowled. "Just like that?! Just because some pissant spilled that you're a fucking werewolf?!"

"They don't believe you were helping Sirius, do they?" Tesla asked this time.

"No, Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives. That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he – er - accidentally let it slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast."

"Again, leaving because of that shit?!"

Lupin shook his head slowly. "This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents… They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you. That must never happen again."

"I would have kicked your ass if those teeth of yours came near me," Nnoitra pointed out, crossing his arms. "This is still bullshit! You're the best damn teacher we've had teaching this fucking class!

"From what the headmaster told me this morning, you saved a lot of lives last night, Harry. If I'm proud of anything I've done this year, it's how much you've learned. Tell me about your Patronus."

"A crazy bitch with scythes being an overprotective mother hen," Nnoitra replied with a smirk.

**Hey!**

"Well, that's…interesting," Lupin chuckled for a moment. "Here – I brought this from the Shrieking Shack last night." He handed the Invisibility Cloak to Nnoitra "And…" He looked down at the map. "I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving this back to you as well. It's no use to me, and I daresay you, Colin, Ron, and Hermione will find uses for it."

"I would actually like for the other two to just stay out of my fucking business," Nnoitra scoffed, accepting the map back as well.

* * *

"It didn't make a damn difference," Nnoitra pointed out, sitting on Lupin's vacant desk.

"Didn't make a difference?" Dumbledore repeated. "It made all the difference in the world, Harry. You helped uncover the truth. You saved an innocent man from a terrible fate."

Nnoitra still didn't see how much of a difference it made. Pettigrew still got away. "Hey, yesterday, when I was taking my damn Divination exam, Trelawney went…strange. Really fucking strange."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore asked. "Er- stranger than usual, you mean?"

**See? Even he thinks she's strange.**

"Well, yeah," Nnoitra scoffed. "Her voice was deep and her eyes rolled back. Said some shit about Voldemort's servant going to set out to return to the asshole before midnight. She said his damn servant would help him come back to power. Then the bitch was normal again and couldn't remember a damn thing she just said."

"Could she have made a real prediction?" Tesla asked, tilting his head.

"Do you know, I think she might have been," Dumbledore replied with a small nod of his head. "Who'd have thought it? That brings her total of real predictions up to two. I should offer her a pay raise…"

_Two?_

**What was the other one?**

_Do I even want to know?_

"I stopped Sirius and Professor Lupin from killing Pettigrew," he admitted. "I should have fucking killed him myself! Damn it!"

"It does not matter, harry," Dumbledore placated.

"Doesn't fucking matter?!"

"Hasn't your experience with the Time-Turner taught you anything, Harry? The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed. Professor Trelawney, bless her, is living proof of that. You did a very noble thing in saving Pettigrew's life."

"I did a fucking stupid thing!"

"Did you? Pettigrew owes his life to you. You have sent Voldemort a deputy who is in your debt. When one wizard saves another wizard's life, it creates a certain bond between them. And I'm much mistaken if Voldemort wants his servant in the debt of Harry Potter."

"It was still fucking stupid," Nnoitra commented.

"But, in the end, it could come in handy," Tesla pointed out. "He's in your debt, meaning he must repay you."

Nnoitra was blank faced for a moment, then a grin slowly spread on his lips. "Hell yeah, he fucking owes me."

* * *

On the way home, a tiny little owl came aboard the train, carrying a letter from Sirius. He didn't say where he was, but he and Buckbeak are safe. He admitted to sending him the Firebolt, which made Hermione gloat happily before the fact that the broom was not jinxed was pointed out. He also got permission from Sirius that Nnoitra can go to Hogsmeade and that the tiny owl is now Ron's.

"What do you reckon?" Ron asked the Crookshanks. "Definitely an owl?"

Crookshanks purred his reply.

"That's good enough for me," Ron happily stated, making Tesla and Nnoitra roll their eyes. "He's mine."

When they finally reached the train station, Nnoitra and Tesla quickly lost Ron and Hermione. They walked out of the station together, Tesla promising to call once in a while, and Nnoitra promising the same. He knows he'll need someone other than Santa Teresa to keep him sane. Then Tesla met his uncle, and it was evident on his face, Tesla was no impressed.

"Watch this," Nnoitra said with a smirk as he approached Vernon.

"What's that?" Vernon snarled, seeing the envelope Nnoitra held. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another thing coming after what happened with Marge!"

"Relax," Nnoitra said calmly, still smirking. "It's a letter from my godfather, asshole."

"Godfather?" Vernon repeated in confusion before nearly bellowing. "You haven't got a godfather!"

"Sure I do," Nnoitra chuckled. He could see Tesla smirking from the corner of his eyes. "He was mum and dad's best friend. He's a fucking convicted murderer, but he's broken out of the damn wizard prison. Seriously, they have the shittiest security. Anyway, he's on the run, but he likes to keep in touch with me. You know, keep up with my news and making sure I'm happy."

Nnoitra grinned at the look of utter terror on Vernon's face. Tesla, spotting his family, chuckled and walked off.

"So, we going home or not, fucker?"

**_Chapter End_**

**Wow, that was even longer than my last chapter. Including this note, 49 pages. Holy crap.**

**How did everyone like Nnoitra meeting Sirius? I could have made Sirius as Stark's reincarnation, but thought, nah. He's too…energetic. That, and I actually plan on limiting Arrancars showing up. And I don't know if Stark actually died. I mean, I think Lillinette did, but Stark? Maybe.**

**Next chapter, Nnoitra is going to have a lot of fun. Can anyone guess what I'm gonna do next? Though it should be pretty obvious. Anyway, hope everyone likes the chapter! And I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I try to go over my stories multiple times before I post them, think I got all mistakes, and then notice a million after posting. So, sorry for any.**

**Also, some of the lines, you may not recognize who says them or why I used them. One was said about Ulquiorra, and it kind of mad Nnoitra a little mad. Most were by Nel, a few were made by Aizen, and one by Grimmjow. Also a couple from Tesla. Mainly things he remembers that kind of pissed him off when he heard them, or just the person in general. **


	4. Year Four

**Again, having way too much fun. WAY TOO MUCH…**

**And just because I got a few reviews about it, yes. I watch Hellsing Abridged. It is hilarious. I eagerly wait for Halloween so I can watch episode four.**

**On the subject of this story, we all know what is bound to happen now. I think it has been pretty obvious, but we shall see. I've been kind of wanting to get to this chapter really bad. I expect it to be a lot longer than the last one even.**

**Now let's quite wasting time with notes and get on with the story!**

**Remember, folks, I like making Nnoitra gay for Szayel. So yes, Nnoitra is gay. No heavy yaoi in this story. Maybe hints to some and a few little touch-of-yaoi scenes, but no heavy stuff.**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, then I do not own it. End of Story.**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

**Zanpakutou speaking**

**Also, a few parts in here are going to take place in Nnoitra's mind. I will let you know when those parts show up, so try not to get a little confused with this key and with those scenes. When those scenes come up, they're just "**Talking**".**

_**Chapter Start**_

Santa Teresa is a highly paranoid zanpakutou. After all, with a master like Nnoitra, someone has to be wary of everything around. Even within the forest that is his inner world, she is observant of everything around. Trees may block certain areas from her vision, but she knows something is out there. It has been there since her master was a year old, ever since that fateful night his parents were murdered and he was hurt.

Whatever it is uses the trees to hide from her. This, in a sense, pleases her. After all, it means it fears her. Yet it does not stop her from hunting this being down. This is the mind of her master and lately, it has been acting up and disturbing her master's rest. She will not tolerate it.

In the distance, she heard voices. No doubt Nnoitra can hear them as well, considering this is his mind and whatever happens here sometimes gets through to him in his sleep. She knows what those voices are. The other being in this forest is sending her master a vision.

She slid behind a tree with pink-tinges leaves and looked around the trunk. There was the being she had been hunting ever since she first realized he was there. A door was open in front of him, showing a conversation between Wormtail and a second person with a cold voice.

"I found you," she taunted, revealing herself from her hiding spot.

The soul fragment of Voldemort jumped and whirled around to face her, scared stiff and paled face. "Uh, yeah, I was just leaving," he stammered.

She was suddenly in front of him. "I think not," she replied, grabbing his arm. "What are you doing to my master? Why do you disturb his rest? Do not know what happens when Master does not get his rest?"

"Well, uh… please don't hurt me?"

With a quirked eyebrow, she released his arm. "You will stay where I can see you and use you however I see fit," she told him before vines were wrapped around him suddenly. "I could always use a bit of…target practice."

The being in front of her paled as she smirked. "Eep."

* * *

Nnoitra groaned and rolled over, hand covering his eyes. "Fucking hell," he complained, flashes of his dream running through his mind. The scar on his forehead stung, but he ignored it. "Okay, that's fucked up."

He knows the last time it hurt, Voldemort was near him. Voldemort can't be in the house, much less in the neighborhood. Santa Teresa would say something and he would be out there, kicking Voldemort's ass.

**Maybe you should ask someone about it.**

_Or I can go with plan B._

**What's plan B?**

_Say 'fuck the world' and go back to sleep. Worry about letting someone know when it's actually morning._

And with that, he closed his eyes and was back to sleep in no time.

Inside his mind, Santa Teresa sighed and looked at her victim. "Kind of lazy, isn't he?" Voldemort asked.

"Just you wait until he finds out about you," she warned him, the scythes untucking from her arms. "Now get into that dress! It's almost time for tea!"

* * *

Because of the school nurse at Dudley's school insisting that the boy is too overweight (and nothing the Dursley couple said seemed to excuse it), Petunia put the entire family on a diet plan. When Nnoitra got his unsweetened grapefruit quarter, he tossed it over to Dudley and dug around in the fridge for some real food.

"What are you doing?" Petunia yelled at him.

"Eating shit that is good," Nnoitra replied without a care in the world, pulling out a few eggs. "And something you would not fucking stomach." He cracked open all three eggs and dumped their contents into a glass. Not even stirring the yolk and egg white together, he brought the glass to his lips and drank them. He smirked when he saw their green faces.

**I wonder when they will realize they have no control over you?**

_They know it, they just want to keep fighting it._

**That makes sense.**

Vernon was summoned to the door when the bell rang. While he was gone and Petunia was occupied, Dudley stole Vernon's grapefruit.

Moments later, Vernon was back with a livid look on his face. "You. Living room. Now."

"Fucking make me," Nnoitra dared.

"Now!" Vernon nearly roared.

Nnoitra flipped him the finger and grinned. "Fuck off, asshole."

Vernon made to grab him, but Nnoitra evaded the hand and grabbed Vernon's arm. In a split second, his foot connected with the man's huge stomach, a very hard target to miss.

"Try that again," Nnoitra hissed out, teeth clenched as he squeezed Vernon's arm. Then he noticed the purple writing paper in Vernon's hand. "What's this shit?" he asked, snatching it.

"A letter," Vernon coughed out. "About you!"

Nnoitra scanned over it. Well, up side, he can get away from the Dursleys' early. Down side, he would be stuck with stalker's family. A hum escaped him. Getting away from his relatives seemed better than anything else. "Fine. I'm going. That's that." He released Vernon's arm and shoved the man away.

**Was all that necessary?**

_Yes. They need to be reminded who is boss…constantly._

He made it to his room and his eyes landed on Teresa looking very annoyed by something. "What's got your feathers ruffled?" he joked before a feathered ball of energy hit his head. "Ow! Shit! What the hell was that?!"

* * *

Nnoitra couldn't help but laugh. All three Dursleys were stunned as voices came from the boarded up fireplace.

"Ouch! Fred, no – go back, go back, there's been some kind of mistake – tell George not to - OUCH! George, no, there's no room, go back quickly and tell Ron-"

"Maybe Harry can hear us, Dad – maybe he'll be able to let us out – "

"Does anyone else hear laughing?"

"Knowing his sense of humor, it's probably Harry."

"You guys are fucking awesome!" Nnoitra yelled, clutching his sides as he laughed. Even he wasn't expecting this.

"What is this?" Vernon growled. "What's going on?"

"Quit being a jackass and unblock the fireplace," Nnoitra said. "They came by Floo powder. They travel by fire, through the damn fireplaces."

"Harry? Harry, can you hear us?"

With a roll of his eyes and a snicker, Nnoitra went to the fireplace. "Yeah, I can fucking hear you," he replied. "Look, fireplace was blocked. Not easy to get through there."

"Damn!" Mr. Weasley swore, making Nnoitra's eyebrows rise. He hadn't heard him curse before. "What on earth did they want to block the fireplace for?"

"They got a damn electric fire," Nnoitra answered with a scoff.

"Really?" Mr. Weasley sounded pleased and excited. "Eclectic, you say? With a plug? Gracious, I must see that… Let's think… ouch, Ron!"

Nnoitra resorted to slapping his own forehead. _Why is he here?_

**To make your life miserable.**

"What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?"

"Oh, no, Ron," Fred replied sarcastically. "No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up."

"Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here," George added on.

"Hey, at least you guys got the right fireplace," Nnoitra pointed out. "Getting the hell out is the trick."

"Boys, boys…I'm trying to think what to do… Yes…only way…Stand back, Harry."

Nnoitra wisely stepped to the side of the fireplace. Vernon, however, stupidly stepped forward. And barely got out of the way as the electric fire flew across the room.

"Fucking awesome."

* * *

"Did he eat it?" Fred asked him as soon as he came through the fire.

Nnoitra grinned. "Hell yeah, fatass can't keep his hands off anything sweet. What was that, anyway?"

"Ton-Tongue Toffee," Fred replied with a smile. "George and I invented them, and we've been looking for someone to test them on all summer…"

* * *

Charlie reminds him of someone who isn't afraid of anything. After all, the guy deals with dragons despite them being a hundred times his size, and still seemed so good-natured. Bill, though, took Nnoitra by surprise. He was expecting a older version of Percy, but he wasn't. He had long hair tied in a ponytail, a fang earring, and dressed like he was going to a rock concert.

"I may actually like you two," Nnoitra stated after shaking their hands. "Depends."

Then Mr. Weasley showed up and started to yell at Fred.

* * *

Nnoitra tuned out the conversation between Percy and his father mostly. He was mainly asking Charlie how it was handling dragons and Bill about working with goblins, as a Curse Breaker. Both sounded like fun. Then Nnoitra heard something familiar.

"Oh Bertha's hopeless, all right," Percy spoke. "I hear she's been shunted from department to department for years, much more trouble than she's worth… but all the same, Bagman ought to be trying to find her. Mr. Crouch has been taking a personal interest, she worked in our department at one time, you know, and I think Mr. Crouch was quite fond of her."

"Probably was fucking her," Nnoitra commented with a snicker, earning a couple chuckles from the oldest Weasley brothers.

"How dare you say such a thing!" Percy exclaimed. "Mr. Crouch is a very faithful man."

"To who? You?" Nnoitra continued on.

"We're waiting for the wedding announcement," Bill stated, chuckling.

"Any day now," the twins added on.

"Anyway," Percy interrupted before the taunting could go on. "We've got quite enough on our plates at the Department of International Magical Cooperation without trying to find members of other departments, too. As you know, we've got another big event to organize right after the World Cup." Percy cleared his throat and said loudly. "You know the one I'm talking about, Father. The top-secret one."

Nnoitra snorted in amusement. "Real fucking discreet."

**You know…this may end up concerning you.**

_When doesn't it?_

* * *

Nnoitra wasn't bothered by the walk or the climb up the hill. Everyone else was, though. "I cannot be the only one in damn shape around here," he commented in shock.

**Wizards are lazy and depend on their magic to do everything for them.**

_No wonder._

"Whew!" Mr. Weasley panted. "Well, we're made good time – we've got ten minutes… Now we just need to find the Portkey. It won't be big… Come on…"

A couple minutes later, someone was shouting out to them. "Over here, Arthur! Over here, son, we've got it!"

"Amos!" Mr. Weasley greeted with a smile as their whole group went over. Both men shook hands. Nnoitra noticed the man's son. "Everyone, this is Amos Diggory. He works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. And I think you know his son, Cedric?"

"Regulation and Control?" Nnoitra repeated with a scoff. "Seriously? Half the shit I see, you assholes can't control."

"Excuse me?" Amos spoke in shock.

"He's just always been like that," his son placated. "Don't let it get to you, dad."

Amos shook his head and looked at Arthur. "Long walk, Arthur?"

"Not too bad," Mr. Weasley replied. "We live just on the other side of the village there. You?"

"Had to get up at two, didn't we, Cedric? I tell you, I'll be glad when he got his Apparition test. Still…not complaining…Quidditch World Cup, wouldn't miss it for a sackful of Galleons – and the tickets cost about that. Mind you, looks like I got off easy…" Amos looked at them all. "All these yours, Arthur?"

"Do we look related to him?" Nnoitra shot out.

"Only the redheads," Arthur answered. "This is Hermione, friend of Ron's – and Harry, another friend-"

"Not."

"Merlin's beard! Harry? Harry Potter?"

"Uh, yeah. Don't fucking start!"

"Ced's talked about you, of course," Amos stated. "Told us all about playing against you last year… I said to him, I said – Ced, that'll be something to tell your grandchildren, that will… you beat Harry Potter!"

Nnoitra looked at the sheepish Cedric with a bland look. "Really?"

"He's like this," he pointed out. "Harry fell off his broom, Dad. I told you… it was an accident…"

"Yes, but you didn't fall, did you? Always modest, our Ced, always the gentleman…but the best man won. I'm sure Harry'd say the same, wouldn't you, eh? One falls off his broom, one stays on, you don't need to be a genius to tell which one's the better flier!"

"Oh, you fucking asshole! I'm going to kick you ass!"

"He doesn't mean anything by it, Harry!" Cedric quickly tried to placate as Amos backed up a bit in shock. "Dad, I told you not to say something like that! He's got a…er…short fuse!"

"Fuck the fuse, it's gone!" Nnoitra yelled. "Move it!"

**Calm down. They are ignorant.**

J_ust means I gotta beat some fucking sense into them!_

* * *

"Seriously?" Nnoitra sighed heavily hand on his forehead. The Weasleys are a hopeless lot. "Can't even put up a damn tent… Fuck this, I'm wandering."

"Wait up, Harry! We'll come with!" Ron yelled out after him.

"Whatever, you get hurt, not my damn fault," Nnoitra explained quickly, walking away.

* * *

Ludo Bagman looked like someone Nnoitra wanted to punch…as hard as he possibly could. He could just feel the obnoxious vibes coming off the man in waves. Not to mention, he was more noticeable than the old man in the flowery nightgown saying something about enjoying the breeze around his privates.

**That was disturbing.**

_But funny._

"Arthur, old man," he said with glee. "What a day, eh? What a day! Could we have asked for more perfect weather? A cloudless night coming… and hardly a hiccough in the arrangement… Not much for me to do!"

Percy, despite not liking Bagman, came forward with his hand held out, wanting to make a good first impression.

"Ass kisser," Nnoitra mocked.

"Ah – yes," Mr. Weasley started off. "This is my son Percy. He's just started at the Ministry – and this is Fred – no, George, sorry – that's Fred – Bill, Charlie, Ron – my daughter Ginny – and Ron's friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter."

With annoyance on Nnoitra's behalf, Bagman did a double take and glanced at his forehead, looking for the scar. Nnoitra smirked and gave him the finger. The man started to sputter.

"Everyone, this is Ludo Bagman, you know who he is, it's thanks to him we've got such good tickets-"

Somehow, this ended up with accepting a gamble. The twins betted that Krum would get the Snitch, but Ireland would win. Nnoitra didn't really see the chances of that happening, but anything was possible.

* * *

"Wild!" Ron exclaimed while testing the Omnioculars. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again… and again… and again…"

"You…are…bored," Nnoitra said bluntly and kicked his feet up on the railing of the Top Box, leaning back. He ignored most of what was happening around him until Fudge showed up and greeted him like an old friend. Nnoitra just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Harry Potter, you know," Fudge tried to tell a obviously foreign man. "Harry Potter, oh come on now, you know who he is…the boy who survived You-Know-Who… you do know who he is-"

Nnoitra was more focused on who was next to the foreign man, whom seemed to suddenly realize who Nnoitra was. A boy of average height, sixteen years of age, with black hair and deep green eyes. His face, just like Nnoitra remembered, was blank.

"Hey, Emospada!" Nnoitra greeted with a grin.

"Harry," the boy greeted in return, approaching Nnoitra. "Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

"Hell man, have a seat," Nnoitra said with a wave of his hand.

"You understand English?" Fudge asked in disbelief.

"Yes," the green-eyed boy replied. "As does my father, but he finds your attempts at communication humorous. I, however, find them immature."

"Stick up the ass, as always," the former Quinta commented.

"Excuse me, but who are you?" Hermione politely asked the boy.

He looked at her with no expression then turned around. "Alexander Oblansk," he replied, mainly for Nnoitra.

**Hey, Murcielago!**

**Hey, Santa Teresa!**

_Aizen fucking help me, go to Ulquiorra's head!_

* * *

"And now, without further ado, allow me to introduce…the Bulgarian National Team Mascots!"

"Word of the wise, Harry," Ulquiorra started. "Cover your ears and close your eyes."

"Fuck that shit, you know I don't care," Nnoitra pointed out as a hundred beautiful women glided out onto the field.

"They are Veela," the former Cuatro pointed out.

"Who affect straight men," the other shot back as the women started to dance and music flooded the stadium.

"Ah, yes, I forgot about him."

"You? Damn…"

"It happens."

"Still pining after Pet-sama?"

"Harry, please shut your mouth."

Nnoitra cackled.

* * *

"Ouch, that's gotta fucking hurt!" Nnoitra said as Lynch flew straight into the ground.

"Wronski Defensive Feint," Ulquiorra supplied. "Something I would expect you to do."

"Did it a few dozen times with a Nimbus Two Thousand, and some more with a Firebolt."

Ulquiorra hummed gently. "I can believe that. Oh, he is back in the air."

"So you know Krum or what?"

"We go to school together," he replied with a shrug. "His only talent is flying. He is basically trash."

"Now, Alexander, none of that talk," Ulquiorra's father gently scolded in heavy accented English.

"It is the truth, Father."

"Damn, you're still such a hard-ass."

"Please do be quiet, Harry."

* * *

"Krum got the Snitch," Nnoitra said blandly.

"He is a good player," Ulquiorra nodded in agreement.

"Vell, ve fought bravely," the Bulgarian Minister stated with a gloomy tone.

"It does not matter, Father. The better team won. Viktor has obviously noticed that our team would not catch up before he got the Snitch. He ended it on his own terms. He tends to do that. It gets quite annoying."

"Smacked him a few times, Alex?" Nnoitra asked with a grin.

"Many," Ulquiorra admitted. "It tends to make me feel a little bit better."

"Why do you think I do it all the damn time?" They were silent for a moment as the Irish team was reintroduced down below. "Wanna come to our tent and catch up?"

Ulquiorra looked at his father, who nodded once. "Very well."

* * *

Ulquiorra did not stay around long. Soon enough, his father called him out of the tent and they went home. Santa Teresa was very sad to see Murcielago go.

Nnoitra tuned out most of what happened between then and when he fell asleep, singing and celebrating echoing into the tent from the outside. He woke to Santa Teresa screaming at him.

**Danger, Master! Danger! Get your ass up and out of here! Danger!**

_I'm up, I'm up. What are you freaking out about?_

"Get up!" Mr. Weasley shouted, waiting everyone in the tent. "Ron! Harry! Come on now, get up, this is urgent!"

"I'm fucking up," Nnoitra groaned, then suddenly aware of the sounds outside. Screaming and rapid footsteps, like running. Panic. "What the fuck is their problem?"

"No time, Harry – just grab a jacket and get outside – quickly!"

**Get moving!**

Nnoitra was outside in seconds, looking around in confusion. People were running into the woods, away from a group of cloaked figures. Above them, four struggling figures. Two were small. It took him a moment to realize that the figures were Muggles

"Fucking sick," Nnoitra commented

"We're going to help the Ministry!" Mr. Weasley shouted over the loud screams as the three eldest Weasley boys ran into the fray. "You lot – get into the woods and stick together. I'll come and fetch you when we've sorted this out!"

_Stay and fight, or run away…_

**Don't even think about it, Master! They have years of experience with magic against you!**

…_Tempting…_

**Master, just get away!**

_Fine! Geez. Overgrown mother hen!_

* * *

"MORSMORDRE!"

Nnoitra looked up to the green light, a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. "Really original," he mocked, ignoring the screams. "Seriously?! It's not fucking hurting anyone!"

"It's the Dark Mark, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "You-Know-Who's sign!"

"What the hell is wrong with saying Voldemort?" Nnoitra asked as he yanked himself out of her grip.

**Down, Master!**

"Duck!" Hermione screamed before flashes of red lights flew over their heads.

"Stop!" someone yelled. "STOP! That's my son!" The red lights stopped.

**It's okay to get up now.**

_Gee, thanks for that bit of obvious information!_

"Ron – Harry – Hermione – are you all right?"

"Fuck no, we're not all right!" Nnoitra shouted. "What the fuck were you assholes attacking us for? We didn't do shit!"

"Out of the way, Arthur," a very cold and curt voice ordered. Mr. Crouch came forward with rage on his face. "Which of you did it? Which of you conjured the Dark Mark?"

"You mean that unoriginal piece of shit in the sky?" Nnoitra scoffed. "Not us."

"Do not lie, sir!" Crouch shouted, eyes popping and looking slightly mad. "You have been discovered at the scene of the crime!"

"Man, if you go on that information, there must be a lot of innocent people in your damn jail," the former Espada scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Barty," a witch in a woolen dressing gown whispered. "They're kids, Barty. They'd never been able to-"

**Hey, look at that! A government official that is not corrupt in any shape or form!**

_Such a rare find, indeed! We must document this moment!_

**…You are such a smartass.**

_You started it!_

"Where did the Dark Mark come from, you three?" Arthur asked them quickly.

"Over there," Hermione shakily answered, pointing the direction the voice came from. "There was someone behind the trees… they shouted words – an incantation."

"Stood over there, did they?" Crouch turned his mad eyes to the young witch now. "Said an incantation, did they? You seem very well informed about how that Mark is summoned, missy-"

"And you seem like a mad piece of shit about to have a nervous breakdown, now fuck off."

"We're too late," the witch sighed. "They'll have Disapparated."

"I don't think so," Amos Diggory replied. "Our Stunners went right through those trees… There's a good chance we got them…"

"Amos, be careful!"

He disappeared into the darkness. Second later, he yelled out. "Yes! We got them! There's someone here! Unconscious! It's – but – blimey!"

"You've got someone?" Crouch yelled is disbelief. "Who? Who is it?"

Mr. Diggory came back through the trees, carrying a tiny and limp figure. Winky, Barty Crouch's house-elf.

**Drama…**

_Someone's in trouble..._

* * *

"That's my fucking wand," Nnoitra said with a glare when they showed the wand while interrogating the house-elf. "Dropped it somewhere."

"You dropped it?" Mr. Diggory asked in disbelief. "Is this a confession? You threw it aside after you conjured the Mark?"

"Amos, think who you're talking to!" Mr. Weasley defended before Nnoitra could say anything. "Is Harry Potter likely to conjure the Dark Mark?"

"Hell to the fucking no!" Nnoitra shouted.

**Behold, another government asshole that is an idiot.**

_You're getting kind of harsh…Cool._

* * *

"You've been caught red-handed, elf!" Diggory roared. "Caught with the guilty wand in your hand!"

"Amos," Mr. Weasley loudly attempted to calm. "Think about it. Precious few wizards know how to do the spell. Where would she have learned it?"

"Perhaps Amos is suggesting," Crouch spoke with cold anger. "That I routinely teach my servants to conjure the Dark Mark?"

"Mr. Crouch… not… not at all…"

"You have now come very close to accusing the two in this clearing who are the least likely to conjure that Mark! Harry Potter and myself! I suppose you are familiar with the boy's story?"

"Hey, asshole," Nnoitra broke in. "Stop calling me a damn boy. I'm fourteen. I'm a fucking teenager. And you accused me first, so you don't get to say shit!"

"Harry, please stay out of this," Mr. Weasley

* * *

"Death Eaters?" Nnoitra repeated in confusion. "What the hell are Death Eaters? And can they come up with a better name?"

"They're You-Know-Who's supporters and followers," Bill explained. "I think we saw what's left of them tonight – the ones who managed to keep themselves out of Azkaban, anyway."

"We can't prove it was them, Bill. Though it probably was."

"So I should have stayed behind and kicked their asses?"

"No!" everyone shouted at once.

"Damn."

* * *

Even hearing just a little bit about Rita Skeeter, Nnoitra got the urge to hunt her down and skin her. She sounded like a downright bitch.

**If you ever meet her, go ahead and punch her.**

_Planning on it!_

* * *

The confrontation between Ron and his mother, Nnoitra had to admit, was quite humorous. He even found some popcorn.

"I'm never wearing them!" Ron said with finality, throwing his way-out-of-date dress robes onto the bed. "Never!"

"Fine," Mrs. Weasley snapped at him. "Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh."

"I'll get the picture and then erase my own memory of the event," Nnoitra replied with a smirk as Mrs. Weasley left the room. A spluttering noise came from behind them, Pigwidgeon choking on a oversized owl treat.

"Why is everything I own rubbish?" Ron asked in fury.

"Because your life sucks and God hates you."

* * *

"Harry!" someone yelled out as the Weasleys said their good-byes. Arms were suddenly around him and the form holding him was shaking. "I read in the Prophet about the World Cup! What happened?

"Colin, hands off," Nnoitra said plainly.

Tesla let him go. "Sorry."

"Colin? Where are you?"

"Over here, Dennis!"

A eleven-year-old boy made his way through the crowd and finally reached Tesla. "You disappeared! I got scared!"

Nnoitra raised an eyebrow and looked down at Tesla. "My little brother is a wizard, too," he explained. "He's starting school this year. And Dennis, this is Harry. Remember what I told you about him?"

"Don't bother him?"

"Exactly."

"So from what I've managed to catch in those conversations, some kind of shit is happening this year," Nnoitra sighed heavily after listening in on the Weasleys' conversations. "Chances of me getting involved?"

"Very high, considering," Tesla replied with a smile and a shake of his head. "Who knows? Maybe you'll have an easy year."

**I doubt it.**

_So do I._

* * *

"Why is he so happy that he fell into the lake?" Nnoitra asked before the Sorting started.

"I told him about the school and he thought it would be cool to see if the giant squid is real."

"So he's insane?"

"Basically. You can't choose your family, after all."

"Tch. Fuck that."

* * *

"There are house-elves here?" Hermione asked the ghost in shock. "Here at Hogwarts?"

"Why does she seem so shocked?" Tesla asked, leaning over to Nnoitra.

"Watch."

"Of course," Nearly-Headless Nick answered, surprised Hermione didn't know. "The largest number in any dwelling in Britain, I believe. Over a hundred."

"Damn," Tesla and Nnoitra said in unison. Dennis looked at his brother with wide eyes.

"I've never seen one!" the girl stated.

"Well they hardly ever leave the kitchen by day, do they? They come out at night to do a bit of cleaning, see to the fires and so on. I mean, you're not supposed to see them, are you? That's the mark of a good house-elf, isn't it, that you don't know it's there?"

"But they get paid? They get holidays, don't they? And – and sick leave, and pensions, and everything?"

"Sick leave and pensions? House-elves don't want sick leave and pensions."

Hermione refused to eat another bite. Ron was about to say something, but Nnoitra spoke first.

"You wanna be a stubborn bitch and starve yourself, fine. Let me tell you something, the damn elves don't give a fuck."

"If anything, you're insulting them," Tesla pointed out.

"Slave labor," Hermione commented. "That's what made this dinner. Slave labor!"

"Ignore the bitch," Nnoitra snorted with a shake of his head.

* * *

"It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year!" Many complaints came from almost all students at this announcement. "This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy – but I'm sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-"

The Great Hall doors banged opened, making many students jump. With a clunk every step, the newcomer limped over to the Headmaster. A flash of lightning highlighted his features. Heavy scars all over him, every bit of skin that was visible. A chunk of his nose appeared to be gone as well. One of his eyes was perfectly normal, but the other was large, an electric blue, and swiveled endlessly in the socket, never stopping.

When the man was seated and eating, Dumbledore introduced him. "May I introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Professor Moody."

"Mad-Eye Moody?" Ron muttered.

Nnoitra didn't really give a shit, so ignored him.

* * *

"As I was saying," Dumbledore went on. "We are to have the honor of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."

"You're joking!" the Weasley twins yelled out, earning laughed from nearly everyone in the Hall.

"I am not joking, Mr. Weasley. "Though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar…" McGonagall cleared her throat and looked at Dumbledore sternly. "Er – maybe this is not the time…no…Where was I? Ah yes, the Triwizard Tournament."

As Dumbledore explained it, Nnoitra grinned. "Sounds like fun."

"With that age restriction, though, I don't think you'll be able to get in."

"Hey, at least there's a chance of no bullshit happening to me this year."

**Famous last words.**

_Shut up._

* * *

Herbology with bubotuber pus then Care of Magical Creatures with Blast-Ended Skrewts, Nnoitra was glad for dropping Divination. He hated that class. Then lunch and a short break. Of course, Malfoy, as always, had to rile someone up.

Knowing that if he upset Nnoitra or Tesla he would end up getting punched, Malfoy targeted Ron and started to insult his mother.

"So fucking weak," Nnoitra sighed uncaringly. "Mother insults? Asshole needs to come up with better material." He scoffed and muttered. "Watch this." Then he looked over at Malfoy. "Hey! Daddy's bitch! You know your mom? How much did your dad have to pay her to be his whore and birth your sorry ass?"

Malfoy gapped at him. "How dare you insult my mother, Potter!" he yelled.

"Yeah, well, fuck you," he shot back with a grin. "So, how much was she? I may just buy her. She looked like she needs a real man. Doesn't look like she enjoys you two very much. Kind of had that ugly look on her face, like she was smelling shit. Hey, maybe she was just smelling you!"

Malfoy pulled out his wand and then a bang rang out over the area. Something white-hot grazed his face and he grinned. Before he could get to his feet and give Malfoy a beating, a second bang echoed and a roar followed. "Oh no you don't, laddie!"

It was quite comical to see Malfoy turned into a white ferret then tossed around in the air. It was also quite humorous to see McGonagall scolding Moody like he was a ten-year-old.

"I think I'm gonna like this fucker," Nnoitra commented with a grin.

* * *

For their first lesson with Moody, three curses that are 'heavily punished by wizarding law'. He asked around if the students knew any first. Ron knew about the Imperius Curse. Nnoitra didn't like that one as he watched the spider do Moody's bidding. Most of the class laughed, but Nnoitra hated such a curse.

_No control over yourself. All freedom stripped._

**Good thing Aizen didn't have that.**

_Yeah, but still had something similar._

"Think it's funny, do you?" Moody growled. "You'd like it, would you, if I did it to you?" The laughter died.

"Fucking try it!" Nnoitra dared.

"Not now, Mr. Potter. Now, the Imperius Curse, total control. I could make this spider jump out of the window, drown itself, throw itself down one of your throats."

**Ugh, the image.**

_Don't put that in my head!_

* * *

Neville was picked for the next one, the Cruciatus Curse. Constant pain. Hermione screamed at him to stop it. Neville was pale, his hands clenched, and his eyes wide.

"Damn, that looks like fun," Nnoitra stated with a smirk. "How much pain?"

"I do hope that is sarcasm, Mr. Potter," Moody replied.

"Hell no, I'm a masochist."

This earned him some incredulous looks from everyone else.

"What?!" It wasn't that strange in Hueco Mundo for a few Arrancars.

* * *

Hermione was chosen for the last one. Instead of saying the curse name, she said the incantation.

"Yes," Moody said. "The last and worst. Avada Kedavra…the Killing Curse." The third spider was used to be the example, shot by a green light and then was dead. "Not nice. Not pleasant. And there's no countercurse. There's no blocking it. Only one known person has ever survived it, and he's sitting right in front of me."

He looked down at Nnoitra. It probably unnerved Moody that Nnoitra just looked right back like he didn't care.

"Just tells you how badass I am," he chuckled.

* * *

"What the fucking hell is spew?" Nnoitra asked, though felt like he would regret it.

Then Hermione and Ron got into an argument over whether elves like enslavement or not.

Tesla flicked a badge to the side. "Sounds kind of stupid," he stated.

"Excuse me!" Hermione huffed.

"It is dumb," Nnoitra agreed, tossing his badge away. "If they haven't done anything by now to get their own damn rights, then enslavement isn't fucking bothering them. If it ain't hurting, don't fuck with it."

An argument was about to be blown out of proportion when a tapping was heard on the window.

"Teresa's back," Tesla noted.

Nnoitra let her in and took her letter. She rested on his shoulder and groomed his hair as he scanned over the letter. "Oh, that fucker! That damn idiot!"

"What is it?" Tesla asked, looking over Nnoitra's arm to read the letter as well. "Oh, your godfather is coming back." He looked up at Nnoitra. "At least no one besides us and Professor Lupin and Dumbledore knows he's an Animagus."

"One fucking bright spot."

* * *

The next class of Defense, Moody was using the Imperius Curse on them. Dean Thomas hopped around the room three times and sang the National Anthem.

**Good hopping.**

_Tone deaf._

Lavender Brown imitated a squirrel.

**Not the right cheeks for it.**

Neville did some gymnastics that he would not have been able to do if he was of his normal mind.

**He has chances for flexibility.**

_Not enough confidence and too much weight._

**But you can move like that easy.**

_So can Szayel._

**Now is not the time for sex thoughts.**

_It's always time for sex thoughts!_

"Potter, you next."

**This will either end very good or very bad.**

_If I fall under this curse, don't do something stupid_.

"Imperio!"

Nnoitra just stood there, mentally in la-la land while Santa Teresa shook her head. A voice echoed through his mind ('Jump on the desk') and she took over momentarily.

In control over her master's body, she turned around and put hands on hips. "You go jump on the damn desk, you old ant-dick asshole!" That sounds like something Nnoitra would say.

* * *

_Alright, you got a point for that one._

**Santa Teresa, ten. Master Nnoitra, six.**

_Oh, shut up!_

* * *

The day the other schools were to arrive finally came around, and many teachers were harsh as to the appearance of the students. McGonagall especially. "Weasley, straighten your hat. Miss Patil, take that ridiculous thing out of your hair."

They were eventually all outside waiting for the foreigners. Nnoitra just sat on the ground, Tesla behind him playing with his hair. McGonagall tried to get them up, but gave up herself when neither listened to her.

After a while, Dumbledore spoke. "Aha! Unless I am very much mistaken, the delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!"

"Where?" many students called out.

"There!" a sixth year yelled, pointing to the sky.

"It's a dragon!" a first-year shrieked.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Nnoitra yelled to her.

"It's a flying house!" Dennis exclaimed.

Whatever it was came closer and closer until they were finally able to see what it was. A large, powder blue carriage drawn by a dozen winged horses that were the size of elephants, each.

"He's got a point," Nnoitra offhandedly said as the carriage landed with a crash.

"You're doing the point system again?" Tesla asked as he got to his feet.

"Yeah, I get bored," Nnoitra stated as he got up as well.

Once the carriage had landed, a boy in pale blue robes jumped down from the carriage and pulled down golden steps before opening the door. A large woman stepped out, olive-skinned face looking around at the wide-eyed mass of Hogwarts students. Her large black eyes matched her black satin robes, opals around her throat and on her fingers.

"My dear Madam Maxime," Dumbledore greeted, taking her hand and gently kissing her knuckles.

"Dumbly-dorr," she greeted in return. "I 'ope I find you well?"

"In excellent form, thank you."

"My pupils," she said, waving a hand to the dozen boys and girls in their late teens gathered behind her. All of them were shivering in their fine silk robes, except for one who seemed to have done a bit of research about the climate, since that one was wearing a thick coat with fur lining, hood up to hide the face.

**I sense someone.**

_Who?_

**One second. Hey, Verruga! You sense it, too?**

**Yeah. I was letting Tesla know.**

_Okay, both of you, out of my head!_

**He can't stand having more than one zanpakutou in his head.**

**Too bad! I'm hanging out!**

"I will strangle Verruga," he muttered low enough so only Tesla heard him. Tesla just chuckled.

* * *

"The lake!" Lee Jordan cried out. "Look at the lake!"

A whirlpool seemed to form on the lake surface, but instead of sucking anything in, it was pushing something out. Slowly, a large ship emerged from the whirlpool that disappeared as soon as it was done. When the ship was anchored, a plank was lowered to the bank and people started to disembark. At first glance, they were large. When they got closer, they saw that the students were wearing thick coats.

Ron seemed excited about one student in particular. Nnoitra was scanning for Ulquiorra. He probably didn't come along, being sixteen. Then he spotted him by the Durmstrang Headmaster, next to Viktor Krum.

**Murcielago!**

**Santa Teresa! Verruga! Long time no see, guys!**

**Murcielago, sexy as always.**

**Why, Verruga. Handsome and flirtatious. As always.**

_Damn it all to Aizen, get out of my fucking head!_

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the Great Hall now, the foreigners scattered amongst the tables. Most of the Beauxbatons sat at the Ravenclaw table while a majority of Durmstrang students seemed unsure as to where they should sit.

Ron tried to call Krum over to sit with them. He didn't. Nnoitra rolled his eyes at Ron's disappointment. Tesla, as always, sat at Nnoitra's left while Ulquiorra sat to his right. The three were silent, not really needing to talk. Then Nnoitra felt a presence behind him and smirked. He knows this presence. Hermione, though, spoke first.

"Can we help you with something?" she asked the person behind him.

Judging from that look on her face, cold and calculating eyes landed on her. "No, you cannot," he answered smoothly, a fake smile on his lips. Only Nnoitra could ever get a real smile that wasn't mad from this one. "He can, though." He felt those eyes go back to him.

Tesla actually looked and his eyes went a little wide. Ulquiorra moved over a little bit, giving the other person enough space to sit.

"Empty seat right there," Nnoitra offered.

"I will take that seat as soon as you look at me," the smooth voice ran through him.

Nnoitra grinned and turned around. It surprised him that the other person's hair is still pink and his eyes that same golden hue. White half-frame glasses hung over his eyes. The thick, navy blue with white fur trim coat he wore covered his frame.

"Better?" he asked with a grin.

"Much," Szayel replied, taking the seat Ulquiorra vacated.

"Damn well better be." He turned back around before Szayel managed to get Nnoitra's arm over him and snuggled into the taller teen's side. Ron and Hermione seemed shock, looking like they were ready for Nnoitra to smack Szayel away. Yet Nnoitra made no move.

"So, darling, what have you been up to over the years?" the pink-haired teen asked.

"Parents got killed, live with assholes, fought Voldemort two years in a row, killed a damn basilisk two years ago, found out I have a godfather who is an escaped murderer and best friend of my parents last year, and now I'm waiting for some kind of shit to happen."

Szayel hummed lightly then looked at Tesla. "He's had fun, then?"

"Constantly."

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Ron rudely asked.

"Ah, excuse my manners," Szayel brushed off like a master. "I am Gabriel Ranimer. I am pleased to meet you."

"Right, so, dipshit is Ron, bitch is Hermione, guy next to you is Alex, and this one is Colin."

"Harry," Hermione sighed heavily.

"What?!"

"Oh, just ignore him," Szayel told her. "You get used to his crude manner and more attracted to his…bedside manner."

Nnoitra grinned and put his head on top of Szayel's. "Messing with peoples head is so much fucking fun, ain't it?"

"You know me too well."

It was just then when the staff filled up the top table followed by all three Headmasters. As Madam Maxime entered, all Beauxbatons students rose to their feet. Some Hogwarts students laughed, but the French students were not embarrassed by this. As soon as she sat, so did her students.

"What's that shit about?" Nnoitra asked as soon as Szayel sat back down, this time on Nnoitra's lap.

"We must show respect to our Headmistress," Szayel explained with a wave of his hand. "Deserving or not."

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, ghost and – most particularly – guests," Dumbledore started. "I have great pleasure in welcoming you all to Hogwarts. I hope and trust that your stay here will be both comfortable and enjoyable."

A Beauxbatons girl clutching a muffler around her head laughed derisively. Szayel looked over and shot her a look, shutting her up immediately.

"The tournament will be officially opened at the end of the feast. I now invite you all to eat, drink, and make yourselves at home!"

The dishes in front of everyone were suddenly full of all kinds of food, domestic and foreign. With a small smile, Szayel took some bouillabaisse. "The only downside is that all their little legs and heads are gone," he complained when he pulled out some bits of shrimp. "Eat some, Harry. 'Tis good."

Nnoitra smirked and took the bit of shrimp that Szayel was holding up, still dripping the juices of the soup, with his teeth. He threw his head back and dropped the shrimp from between his teeth into his mouth. "Alright, it's good," he admitted.

Szayel then leaned over to Ulquiorra. "So tell me a bit about yourself, Alex," he said, prying for some knowledge. He may know Ulquiorra, but he did not know Alex, and this was a perfect chance to know each other so that it would not be as strange for them to group together.

"My father is the Bulgarian Minister and I am in my second to last year at Durmstrang," Ulquiorra replied. "Karkaroff would have left me behind at school, yet father told him to bring me along. He thought it would be good for me to go and meet new people and be exposed to different cultures."

"Fascinating," the former Octava commented.

"How about you, Gabriel?" Tesla asked this time, understanding what Szayel was doing. Both Nnoitra and Szayel already made it known that they know each other, but if Nnoitra started asking about Szayel's home and family, it would seem strange.

"French Nobility, more from the Muggle side than anything else. See, my mother is a witch and my father is a minor Muggle Lord, but he still has his fair share of power and influence. Mother taught me plenty about the Wizarding World, and had to explain to Father as to why my hair and eyes were constantly changing colors depending on my mood. I excel at potions and transfiguration. Amazing subject, by the way. I'm working on an Animagus transformation, but being a metamorphmagus, it probably dims my chances of having an animal form."

"Meta-what?" Nnoitra asked in confusion, looking down at the older but shorter teen in his lap.

"A metamorphmagus is a witch or wizard who can change their appearance at will," Hermione answered as the other teen was about to. "Their hair, their eyes, even their mouth and nose."

Szayel did not seem pleased about being cut off like that. "You're quite intelligent, aren't you?"

Hermione blushed, thinking of it as praise. Ron spoke. "She's the brightest witch at school." Her blush deepened.

"Oh, I wasn't complimenting," he stated. "Sometimes, 'tis smarter to not be such a little know-it-all. Showing your intelligence like that tends to make others find you insufferable or make them fear you. Take my word for it." Hermione now looked confused and insulted.

"So that chick over there knows that?" Nnoitra asked, nudging his head towards the girl that laughed during Dumbledore's talk. She was already on her feet and seemed to be coming to the Gryffindor table.

"Fleur had to be taught the hard way."

Ulquiorra sighed and put down his fork. "What did you do?" he asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Nothing!" Szayel exclaimed with mock innocence. Nnoitra snorted. A true actor to the end. "Just tested out a potion I invented on her. It didn't leave any lasting effects, but it did make the other students leave me alone."

The girl seemed a little hesitant with Szayel right there, but she approached anyway. "Excuse me, are you wanting ze bouillabaisse?" she asked softly, her voice light.

"Fleur, we are supposed to be polite guests," Szayel scolded her, grabbing her arm. "Not laugh at the Headmaster of the hosting school. Learn to control yourself." He pushed her arm away and turned his attention elsewhere. "Take the bouillabaisse if you want it so badly. And for crying out loud, control that allure of yours!"

A little ashamed, she picked up the dish and carefully took it to the Ravenclaw table.

"Wasn't that a bit harsh?" Hermione scowled.

"Not at all," he replied with another fake smile. "Her grandmother was a Veela. Sometimes, they need to be taught their place. They are not better than anyone else around them, despite what they think."

* * *

Everyone was silent as Dumbledore went on about the tournament, introducing both Bagman and Crouch. Then Filch brought in a casket. Dumbledore went on explaining the tasks that the champions would have to do, but never saying what those tasks are. Then the lid to the casket was opened and an large wooden cup with blue-white flames dancing to its brim.

Nnoitra had to hold onto Szayel so he wouldn't rush up there to examine it with a scientist's eye.

The headmaster then went on about the Goblet of Fire and that he would put an Age Line around it to ensure no one under seventeen would put their names in.

"Wanna spend the night at our dorm?" Nnoitra offered as Karkaroff gathered his students (Ulquiorra included) and herded them back to the ship.

"Why not?" Szayel replied with a sly grin. "We still have much to catch up on, dear."

Nnoitra grinned as a shiver ran up his spine.

* * *

The next morning, many students had already put their names in. Madam Maxime marched her students in and had each of them put their names into the goblet. As soon as Szayel threw his name in, he went straight over to Nnoitra, who was watching to see if anyone else would attempt an Aging Potion.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked, sitting next to the taller teen.

"A pair of identical twins attempted to put their names in after ingesting Aging Potions," Ulquiorra, who was seating a few feet to Nnoitra's left, stated. "The Age Line rejected them and they grew beards."

"Happened to everyone who tried that method," Tesla pointed out, reading over a book.

Hermione suddenly showed up with her box of badges. "Well, let's go visit Hagrid!" she chirped. "I need to ask him if he would like to join SPEW."

"SPEW?" Szayel and Ulquiorra repeated in confusion.

"Don't," Nnoitra groaned as Hermione launched into her speech about how house-elves were treated unfairly and were basically slaves.

"Well of course," Ulquiorra stated once Hermione was done. "Yet we had not heard a complaint from one and they all seem to enjoy their work, from my own experience. Why alter something that has been the way it is for years? I see no reason."

"They're slaves!" Hermione stomped her foot. "They don't get holidays! They don't get paid! They don't get sick leave!"

"They don't care," Szayel shot back. "You know, I thought you would be someone I could have an intelligent conversation with, but you're just too…simple-minded."

She looked insulted once again. Szayel had that effect on people. "Dobby was freed and he went over the moon in happiness!"

"Dobby was a fucking weirdo who thought hurting me was protecting me. Remember the damn Bludger? Yeah, that was that asshole Dobby's work."

"Who's Dobby?" Szayel asked.

"Damn house-elf I freed from the Malfoys for helping me out…without me fucking needing that kind of helping out, but he was informative."

* * *

Everyone was in the Great Hall, watching the Goblet of Fire. Szayel once again took claim to Nnoitra's lap, much to the amazement of his fellow students and his own Headmistress. To the stunned confusion of the Hogwarts students, Nnoitra didn't shove him off, only wrapped his arms around the smaller teen and held him in place.

"Well, the goblet is almost ready to make its decision," Dumbledore announced. Szayel started muttering under his breath about how an inanimate object could think or decide anything, then listed multiple theories as Dumbledore went on. "I estimate that it requires one more minute. Now, when the champions' names are called, I would ask them to please come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber where they will be receiving their first instructions."

**Master, I have a bad feeling about all this.**

_Why?_

**Knowing how the past few years have been, do you really need to ask?**

…_Yes…Yes I do…_

**Fornicaras, do you see what I deal with every day?**

**Oh, darling, you should spend a day in Master Szayel's mind if you want to complain.**

"Why the hell do they always go to my head?" he muttered, earning a chuckle from Szayel. "Seriously? My damn head?"

"Be careful about saying things like that out loud, Harry," Ulquiorra commented from his spot next to Nnoitra. "Others may think you are going insane because of you hearing voices."

"Shut up, Emocar. Besides, for the record, last time I heard voices no one else heard, it was a fucking basilisk. So ha!"

"Now, now, children, play nice," Szayel chuckled, patting Nnoitra's hand. Tesla shook his head and just watched the goblet.

The flames suddenly turned red and shot out a tongue of fire, a charred piece of parchment fluttering out of it. Dumbledore caught the paper and announced loudly, "The champion for Durmstrang, Viktor Krum!"

Applause and cheers rang out over the Hall. "Bravo, Viktor!" Karkaroff yelled boisterously as Krum vanished through the door Dumbledore indicated earlier. "Knew you had it in you!"

"No need to guess as to who is Karkaroff's favorite pupil," Ulquiorra sighed, reading over a book.

Nnoitra snorted as the clapping and cheering died away and silence reigned once more. Another tongue of flame shot out, releasing another charred piece of parchment. Dumbledore, just like last time, easily caught it. "The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!"

She stepped forward with a swish of her silver-blonde hair. "It's tiresome as to how dramatic some of my schoolmates are," Szayel sighed heavily, hand over his eyes so he would not have to see the others cry because none of them were chosen.

"That's the pot calling the damn kettle black."

**Bad feeling getting stronger.**

_Your bad feelings always get stronger._

**Not the point!**

"The Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory!" Dumbledore happily exclaimed after catching the third parchment piece.

The Hufflepuff table exploded with cheers as Cedric managed to make his way through them, grin bright on his face. He, too, eventually disappeared into the room.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore happily called as the Great Hall eventually fell silent. "Well, we now have our three champions. I am sure I can count upon all of you, including the remaining students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, to give your champions every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on, you will contribute a great deal-"

He stopped and everyone saw why. The Goblet of Fire turned red again and shot out another tongue of flame. Dumbledore, as though an automatic reaction, grabbed the paper fluttering downwards after being so viciously thrown out.

He stared at the paper, which only made his own students anxious. Then he cleared his throat and announced quietly, with shock, "Harry Potter."

Every head turned to look at him. Szayel leaned away a bit and gave him a look that told him everything. He didn't believe it at all. "Fucking bullshit!" Nnoitra protested loudly. "I didn't put my damn name in that fucking cup!"

"Don't protest," Szayel placated. "Go into the room and see what they will do. I'll even come in and vouch for you."

"Fine," Nnoitra sighed heavily as Dumbledore called him again.

**Told you so.**

_Do me a favor and just shut up for the rest of the fucking night. I feel like I'm going to end up with a headache._

* * *

"What is it?" Fleur asked. "Do zey want us back in ze Hall?"

"Do I look like the fucking messenger?" Nnoitra growled at her, hands in his pockets as he made his way over to a wall and leaned against it. There was a tense silence for a moment before an excited Bagman came into the room.

"Extraordinary!" Bagman exclaimed happily. "Absolutely extraordinary! Gentlemen…lady. May I introduce – incredible though it may seem – the fourth Triwizard champion?"

"Don't fucking touch me," Nnoitra snarled at him when the man reached for his arm. Bagman wisely backed off.

Viktor straightened up and his face darkened, eyes scanning over Nnoitra. Cedric looked uneasy about this new development. Fleur smiled and tossed her long hair. "Oh, vairy funny joke, Meester Bagman."

"Joke?" Bagman repeated. "No, no, not at all! Harry's name just came out of the Goblet of Fire!"

"But evidently, zair 'as been a mistake," the girl went on. "'E cannot compete. 'E is too young."

"Shut the fuck up, your voice is annoying," Nnoitra scoffed.

Bagman started to babble, though what he said was still clear. Nnoitra will have to compete. Then the door opened and more people came in. Dumbledore first, then Mr. Crouch, Karkaroff, Madam Maxime, McGonagall, and finally Snape.

"Madam Maxime!" Fleur whined. "Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!"

"Bitch, I'm fucking taller and tougher than you, so call me little boy one more fucking time, I will cut your damn vocal cords!"

"That is enough, Harry," Dumbledore told him as Maxime rounded onto the older wizard.

"What is ze meaning of zis, Dumbly-dorr?" she asked.

"I'd rather like to know that myself, Dumbledore," Karkaroff added, steely smile in place and blue eyes like ice.

Nnoitra mainly tuned out the conversation going on about him until Dumbledore came to him. "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?" he asked.

"No," Nnoitra answered harshly.

"Did you ask an older student to put it into the Goblet of Fire for you?"

"Fuck no!" Nnoitra shouted, looking appalled at the very idea of asking someone to do something so trivial for him.

"Ah, but of course 'e is lying!" Madam Maxime cried out.

"No he is not!" an angered but smooth voice protested.

"Gabriel, you should be back out zair with ze rest of ze students!" Maxime chastised him.

"He didn't put his name in nor did he ask anyone to do so," Szayel told her firmly. "I was with him ever since we came here. I did not hear him ask anyone to do so, and he did not leave bed last night either."

"Ixney on the edbay," Nnoitra sighed when he got a few weird looks. Hey, he's fourteen, hormonal, and finally has his mate back. Leave him the hell alone!

"Oh, shut up," Szayel told him with a wave of his hand. "It would have gotten out eventually. I'm a screamer, what can I say?"

"Silencing Wards!"

"Now those are no fun!"

"Gabriel, the fucking important thing going on right now, please?"

"Oh, right," Szayel coughed uncomfortably before turning back to Madam Maxime. "As I was saying, I was with him all night. And I am a very light sleeper. He never got up. I would have known and dragged him back to bed."

"Little guy can do it, too."

"I heard that! Do not call me little!"

* * *

In the end, it was decided that because of a magical binding contract, Nnoitra must compete. Madam Maxime and Karkaroff both seemed to believe Nnoitra did it somehow, despite Szayel's and even Ulquiorra's protest. When the former Cuatro heard about the accusations, he even argued with Karkaroff about how 'Harry' may be the type of person to do dangerous things, he isn't smart enough to get past an Age Line.

Nnoitra tried not to take offense.

Brushing off his own Headmistress, Szayel joined him and Tesla on his way back to the Gryffindor tower. Ulquiorra joining them seconds later. Everyone inside was celebrating him being chosen that they ignored everything he said.

"Fuck you all, I am going to bed!" he shouted over the noise. "No, George, I don't want any damn food! Leave me the hell alone!"

He stormed to his dorm, the other three former Arrancars following him. To his displeasure, Ron was in the room. Ron started off friendly, but with Nnoitra's comments ("Fuck off, no one likes you anyway.") and saying he didn't do anything, he got a little more hostile and eventually went to bed.

"Is everyone in this school trash or narrow-minded?" Ulquiorra asked, sitting on Nnoitra's bed.

"Yeah, but he's a stubborn dick that won't listen to any shit that people try to tell him," Nnoitra scoffed as he dropped onto the bed. "By the way, Gabriel's sleeping with me. Where you going?"

"I noticed there's a spare bed in my dorm," Tesla offered. "You can sleep there if you don't want to go back to the ship tonight, Alex."

"Thank you, I think I will stay here for the night."

Nnoitra sighed heavily. "So thoughts on this whole shitty situation?"

"I think what that man Moody said is correct," Szayel stated, laying next to the tall teen. "You are Harry Potter, after all. And with Death Eaters popping up at the World Cup and all the things that we have out there to hide or disguise ourselves, someone could have easily put your name in it. Someone who wants you dead."

"Great, another fun fucking year." He banged his head on the headboard. "Colin, when this year is over and if I see Voldemort or someone who works for him again, remind me to just kill anyone who tries any kind of bullshit."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Besides Szayel, Tesla, and Ulquiorra, the only people who believed him were Hermione, Hagrid, and Dumbledore. Everyone else was against him or believed he did put his name in and supported him someway. And somehow, within a couple days, nearly every student had badges on their chests that said 'Support Cedric Diggory, the Real Hogwarts Champion!' And when pressed, they flashed a green message of 'Potter Stinks!'

How rude!

Malfoy tried shoving that in his face, but Nnoitra ripped it off of the brat and punched him in the face.

"When will he learn?" Tesla sighed heavily, hand on his forehead.

"Daily occurrence?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Most likely," Szayel answered this time. "Harry, you must get to class before you get into trouble."

"Too fucking late," he commented as Snape came forward. "Fuck off, this isn't any of your damn business!"

"Twenty points off Gryffindor for your language," Snape drawled out then looked at Malfoy. "Explain."

"Potter attacked me!"

"You fucking deserved it, you little piece of shit!"

* * *

Szayel joined him for Potions class, mainly because he was curious about the lab. There were very few true Potion Masters out there, and Snape, Nnoitra refused to believe it, is one of them.

Though when Szayel entered the room, his reaction was funnier than Nnoitra anticipated.

"What is this mess?!" he shrieked. "Ugh, grime and dust and filth everywhere! This is not a safe place to brew potions! Anything could be contaminated, and easily! Do you have no brain?! Look at all this! And these tables are far too close to each other! These students are at war with each other! Do you want to make it easier for them to sabotage each others work?! All it takes is one tiny thing to go wrong or one idiot ruining someone else's potion and you have a mass explosion!" And he went on and on and on.

Nnoitra was laughing in the background as Snape got a total tongue lashing from Szayel. He was always obsessed with cleanliness. Whenever Nnoitra tracked even a grain of sand into his lab, he was on him like white on... well, anything in Las Noches.

To Snape's credibility, he didn't stagger or do anything as Szayel ranted, only stood there with a blank stare and was probably wondering if he could do anything to shut the teen up.

Chances were very high that he never would be able to.

The next time he got to Snape's class, though, the whole room sparkled. And Szayel seemed very content with himself.

* * *

Tesla came in during the middle of class and after a short conversation with Snape, Nnoitra was allowed to leave. Szayel, who was working on a potion of his own creation that even had Snape curious about it, stopped his work and set it aside before following after. The potion needed to cool for a while anyway before he did anything else to it.

"Why the hell do they want photos?"

"Probably for the Daily Prophet," Tesla answered.

"Are you going to stick around, Tesla?" Szayel asked him.

"No, after this, I need to get back to class."

"Fucking sucks."

* * *

Rita Skeeter was worse in real life than she was in the papers. Nnoitra really wanted to punch her as soon as he laid eyes on her. She reminded him of nothing more than a little bug to crush under his shoe.

"I wonder if I can have a little word with Harry before we start?" she asked Bagman, already grabbing Nnoitra's arm. Szayel turned livid, but the taller teen gripped her arm tightly and made her let him go. "The youngest champion, you know…to add a bit of color?"

"Certainly!" Bagman agreed. "That is if Harry has no objections?"

"I am going nowhere with you, bitch," he growled at her.

**Weren't you gonna punch her or something?**

_Waiting for the perfect moment._

**…There's a perfect moment?**

"Lovely," Rita said, ignoring his comment as she grabbed his arm again.

Szayel stopped her this time, right as Nnoitra started to pull back his fist. "I believe Harry just told you no," he pointed out. "So by law, you must release him without an interview. And if you try to print anything he says, he can easily sue you."

"It's just a small interview," she told him cheerfully, ignoring Nnoitra yanking her hand off of him again. "No harm done."

"He said no. No means no, not do whatever you want. It means no."

"Now, now, this is important-"

"I just so happen to be of noble blood, Harry just so happens to be friends with a foreign minister's son, and I also just so happen to have read all laws concerning this country. I know them like the back of my own hand. Now, he can sue you if you continue to force this issue. Back off and keep your hands off of him."

Rita Skeeter blinked at him before smiling her sickening sweet smile. "And may I ask what your relationship with Mr. Potter is, young man?"

"No, you may not," Szayel told her with a look that he would reserve mainly for his unfortunate future experiments…or Gin when he got up to pranking someone with any of Szayel's chemicals. "Now back off or you won't have to worry about him punching you. Because I will do it instead."

* * *

"May I introduce Mr. Ollivander?" Dumbledore told the champions as he sat with the other judges. "He will be checking your wands to ensure that they are in good condition before the tournament."

Fleur went first. He twirled it between his fingers and shot pink and golden sparks from the tip. "Yes," he started. "Nine and a half inches…inflexible…rosewood…and containing…dear me…"

"An 'air from ze 'ead of a Veela," Fleur finished. "One of my grandmuzzer's."

"Told you," Szayel whispered. Nnoitra shook his head.

"Why are you even 'ere?" Fleur asked him. "Zis is for ze champions!"

"Because I feel like it and unlike you, Fleur, I am ahead in my studies enough that I can afford to miss a few lessons," Szayel shot back. "I am, after all, top of the class. Class that are far more advanced than the ones you attend."

"And yet, I was chosen for ze champion."

"That does not make you better. For I am smarter than you. You just happened to be slightly better at spells. I prefer leaving field work to the useless trash, anyway."

"How dare you!"

"Zat is enough, you two!" Madam Maxime chastised.

**Get the feeling those two are rivals?**

_Hey, it's plenty of fun watching them._

* * *

Cedric handed over his wand next. "Ah, now, this is one of mine, isn't it?" Ollivander said quite happily. "Yes, I remember it well. Containing a single hair from the tail of a particularly fine male unicorn…it must have been seventeen hands; nearly gored me with his horn after I plucked his tail. Twelve and a quarter inches…ash…pleasantly springy. It's in fine condition… You treat it regularly?"

"Polished it last night," Cedric answered with a grin.

"Suck up," Nnoitra commented. Szayel snickered behind his hand.

* * *

"Mr. Krum, if you please."

Viktor Krum stepped forward with a noticeable slouch and handed over his wand.

"Hmm… this is a Gregorovitch creation, unless I'm mistaken? A fine wand-maker, though the styling is never quite what I… however…Yes…hornbeam and dragon heartstring?" Krum nodded. "Rather thicker than one usually sees…quite rigid…ten and a quarter inches…Avis!" A bang and then small birds flew out of the wand's tip, flying right out the open window. "Good. Which leaves…Mr. Potter."

With a roll of his eyes, Nnoitra walked over and handed his wand to the old man. "Aaaah, yes. Yes, yes, yes. How well I remember." Nnoitra ignored him until he made a fountain of wine flow from his wand.

"What spell did you use? I wasn't paying attention."

"You're much too young to drink right now, Mr. Potter."

"You really don't know him, do you?" Szayel commented with a smirk.

**Evidentially not.**

_You're not gonna say anything about how I shouldn't drink, are you?_

**Will you listen?**

_No._

**Then what is the point?**

* * *

"So this is Hogsmeade?" Szayel asked as he looked around. Nnoitra asked him and Ulquiorra if they wanted to come along for the weekend. Tesla got permission now from his parents.

"Yep," Nnoitra answered as he led them to the Three Broomsticks. "Anyone want a butterbeer? My treat."

As usual, the small pub was crowded. It was hard to find a table for all four of them to sit. Tesla led Szayel and Ulquiorra to a table he found while Nnoitra went to go buy the butterbeers. With much practice of ignoring the looks people gave him and the comments they made, he made his way to the table and passed out the butterbeers amongst them.

"Interesting flavor," Szayel commented as he sipped his. "I wonder if I can take some home and see what I can mix it with to add a bit more."

"You never change," Nnoitra chuckled before drinking some.

"Is she doing that spew thing again?" Ulquiorra suddenly asked. The other three looked the same direction he was looking and saw Hermione wondering around with her notebook and saying something they could barely hear.

"Damn, when is that bitch gonna give up?" the tall teen growled, recognizing the notebook she held. "Ignore her."

"So what was that letter about?" Szayel asked, randomly changing the subject.

Nnoitra thought for a moment then remembered Sirius's letter. "Oh, yeah. Well, my godfather wants to talk to me face-to-face in the commons tonight. One in the morning. I know the chances of him being found are slim that late at night, but it's still bullshit. He's worried about me being in the damn tournament."

"Godfather?" Ulquiorra repeated.

"Yeah, Sirius Black," Nnoitra replied with a nod. "Was in Azkaban for twelve years without a trial. Escaped last year, supposedly after my ass to murder me, but was instead after some other little shit who betrayed my parents. He's innocent, but no one knows it yet."

"They convicted an innocent man for murder?" Szayel asked in surprise. "With no trial?"

"Government is corrupt and full of idiotic assholes."

"Explains everything."

* * *

"Why would Hagrid want you to meet him at midnight tonight?" Tesla asked, finishing his butterbeer.

"Must be important," Ulquiorra commented.

Nnoitra shrugged. "I'll probably go anyway," he stated with a wave of his hand. "Wear the damn cloak and figure out what the hell he wants."

"You may miss Sirius," Tesla pointed out.

With a smirk, Nnoitra pointed at the younger boy. "Which is why if I am still out past one, you will be there with him until I come the hell back. He knows you."

"Well this should be quite interesting," Szayel commented. "You wouldn't mind if I came along, would you?"

"Sure. If it's boring, we can make it interesting," Nnoitra replied with a lecherous grin.

* * *

"He slanders French," Szayel commented with a huff while crossing his arms harshly.

Nnoitra shook his head and put a hand over Szayel's mouth. "It's an fucking Invisibility Cloak, not a damn Silencing Cloak." His lover hummed gently before nodding once in understanding. "You're gonna invent one of those now, aren't you?" Szayel nodded again.

The two silently followed after Hagrid and Madam Maxime as they entered the forest. She, apparently, did not know about the destination either. "Wair is it you are taking me, 'Agrid?" she asked him.

"Yeh'll enjoy this," he replied. "Worth seein', trust me. On'y – don' go tellin' anyone I showed yeh, right? Yeh're not s'posed ter know."

"Of course not," Maxime replied with a flutter of her eyelashes.

Nnoitra and Szayel both mock gagged at the flirtatious action.

After a while, when the castle and lake were out of sight, roars echoed through the air.

…_Oh shit…_

**'Oh shit' may be right**.

Hurrying around the large couple, the two teens peered through the trees. Four dragons, fully grown in an enclosed fence, roaring and shooting fire at everything they could. A group of wizards tended to each dragon, trying to control them.

Someone yelled out to Hagrid. "Keep back there, Hagrid! They can shoot fire at a range of twenty feet, you know! I've seen this Horntail do forty!"

"So your first task will be dragons," Szayel whispered under all the noise surrounding them.

"…Well…fuck…"

* * *

"You're just in time!" Tesla said when the two came back into the Common Room. "Sirius just showed up in the fireplace. I told him you would be back in a couple of minutes. Everyone else is already in bed and asleep."

"Good," Nnoitra sighed, going over to the fireplace. Sirius's head was sitting in the fire, patiently waiting for him. "Fucking hell, what if someone came down here and saw you?"

"Well I got lucky, only that boy right there has seen me," Sirius replied.

"He looks remarkably like Stark," Szayel commented, sitting in front of the fire.

"We said the same thing."

"Who is Stark?"

"No one important," Nnoitra waved Sirius off. "So Gabriel, this is Sirius. Sirius, Gabriel."

"Pleasure," Szayel said with a slight bow of his head. "I promise not to tell anyone about this."

"Nice to meet you as well and thank you. So, Harry, how have you been?"

"Fine. Everyone around are being dumb as hell fuckers who won't listen to a damn word I say and I just found out I'm facing some damn dragons for the first task, but I'm fucking perfect!"

"Dragons, we can deal with, Harry, but we'll get to that in a minute – I haven't got long here. I've broken into a wizarding home to use the fire, but they could be back at any time. There are things I need to warn you about."

"Figures," Nnoitra scoffed, walking around the room. "Alright, what the fuck do I need to know now?"

"Karkaroff. He was a Death Eater. You know what Death Eaters are, don't you?"

"Yes, I know what a fucking Death Eater is!"

"Alright, calm down. Anyway, he was caught, he was in Azkaban with me, but he got released. I'd bet everything that's why Dumbledore wanted an Auror at Hogwarts this year – to keep an eye on him. Moody caught Karkaroff. Put him in Azkaban in the first place."

"Why did they release him?" Tesla asked before looking over at Szayel. "Think maybe Alex knows about this?"

"Possible," the pink-haired teen replied, flicking his fingers.

* * *

The conversation went on about how Karkaroff made a deal with the Ministry to be set free, then to Bertha Jorkin's disappearance, and finally the dragons. Sirius was saying something about a simple spell before Szayel held up a hand to silence him. Then all four heard footsteps.

"Shit, someone's coming!" Nnoitra hissed. "Beat it!" Sirius was gone in an instant before Ron came down the stairs. "Well, fuck, it's dipshit."

"What are you all doing down here?" Ron asked, looking at the three.

"None of your fucking business, so get back to bed like a good little shit," Nnoitra growled at him. He hated watching drama, but now Ron seemed determined to have him in a drama. "Don't need you sticking your damn nose where it doesn't belong."

Ron's face turned red. "Sorry about that. Should've realized you didn't want to be disturbed. I'll let you get on with practicing for your next interview in peace."

"What fucking interview?" Nnoitra snorted as Ron stomped back to the dorm. "I didn't give a damn interview in the first place!"

"Uh, Harry, I think you should sue," Szayel said, holding out a paper with Rita Skeeter's article on it. Nnoitra briefly saw the article about his 'tragic past' and other things that did nothing more than piss him off.

"Fuck suing, I'll skewer her."

* * *

**Don't you think you should at least tell Cedric about the dragons?**

_Nope._

**It would be fair and would give him time to plan.**

_If he can't think on the spot, then he's fucked either way._

**At least a small warning.**

_Why should I?_

**So you aren't such an asshole.**

_Point not to do it._

**Fine! Fornicaras!**

**Szayel won't do it, either!**

**Damn. Murcielago!**

**Master Ulquiorra says to keep him out of it.**

**…Verruga?**

**Tesla's on it.**

_Tell him I forbid it!_

**Too late!**

_Damn you all to Aizen!_

* * *

"So…got any ideas how you're going to get past your dragon?" Moody asked him.

"One," Nnoitra admitted.

"Well, good," Moody said as he limped around his desk. "Then let me just give you some good, general advice. Play to your strengths."

Nnoitra chuckled. "You have no fucking clue as to what you just told me, do you?"

* * *

"You know you'll do well," Szayel told him, once again sitting on Nnoitra's lap.

"Though knowing you, you will probably do something drastic to prove a point of sorts," Ulquiorra commented as he picked at his food.

"I can't wait to see you in full action again, sir," Tesla giddily spoke, vibrating in his seat. "This will be amazing!"

"He still looks up to you like a child," the former Octava chuckled, leaning his head back and leaving a light kiss on Nnoitra's jaw. "Try not to disappoint. Or burn up. And if you can get me some dragon blood, or skin, or something, that would be great."

"You do realize I don't have my damn hierro anymore, right?" Nnoitra asked, looking down at the pink-haired teen, who only grinned at him. "No promises."

"Sure," Szayel drawled out with a smirk.

"Potter," McGonagall called to him, suddenly behind him. "The champions have to come down onto the grounds now…You have to get ready for your first task."

With a pout, Szayel removed himself from Nnoitra's lap before the taller teen stood up. "Fine," Nnoitra sighed heavily, stretching his arms.

"Good luck, Harry," Szayel told him as McGonagall led the tall teen away.

He was led out of the Great Hall, ignoring all the eyes on him as he left. McGonagall, for as long as he had known her, never looked more anxious. "Now, don't panic," she told him, her hand on his shoulder. He brushed her off. "Just keep a cool head… We've got wizards standing by to control the situation if it gets out of hand… The main thing is just to do your best, and nobody will think any the worse of you… Are you all right?"

"I'm fucking fine, it's everyone else going to damn pieces around here," he replied with a scoff. "By the way, those assholes on stand-by? Don't let them interrupt."

* * *

Bagman had explained their task, collect the golden egg. Within minutes, students filled the stands. Soon after, Bagman opened the purple silk bag and started to pass it around. Fleur went first, pulling out a model of a Welsh Green, a number two around its neck. Krum went next, pulling a Chinese Fireball with a three from the sack. Third was Cedric, taking out the Swedish Short-Snout with a one on its neck. Finally, Nnoitra reached into the bag and grabbed the last model, the Hungarian Horntail, numbered as four.

He grinned. He got the biggest and most dangerous. This will be fun.

A whistle was blown and Cedric walked out first. Nnoitra closed his eyes and listened as the crowd cheered, screamed, gasped, then finally the cheering of Cedric completing his task. Fleur nervously went next. Her turn took less time than Cedric's. Finally Krum was called and Nnoitra was alone in the tent.

_Very soon now._

**I'm ready, Master Nnoitra. Let's show them what we got**.

Krum was soon done and the whistle was blown again, signaling him to emerge. He rose and left the tent, walking towards the enclosure where his opponent will be. He twirled his wand in his hand calmly, as though he was not about to go and fight a dragon.

Then he was in front of her black form. She was large, though crouched low, protecting her eggs. Her wings were only half-furled and her yellow eyes watched his every move. Her long tail thrashed hard, leaving marks on the ground.

He shook his head. "One chance, bitch," he growled at her. "Back the fuck off, and I won't hurt you."

She snarled at him, fangs bared and tail lashing once more.

"Have it your way then," he chuckled, lifting his hand as he continued to twirl his wand. A quick incantation and a barrier was around the enclosure, keeping everyone out and both him and the dragon inside.

"What is this?" Bagman's commentary started. "Why has Mr. Potter put up such a ward? If this goes downhill, he won't have anyone able to come help him!"

"That's the way he likes it!" two voices yelled out.

With a grin, Nnoitra stopped twirling his wand, holding it level in front of him. "Inore, Santa Teresa."

Pressure built up inside the enclosure, even pushing the dragon down a little bit. Dust rose from the ground, concealing Nnoitra's form. Though everyone could see a silhouette of the teen, or what they thought was the teen. Soon the dust thinned out and vanished, showing his transformation. Even Bagman was silenced in shock.

Nnoitra now had four arms, each hand holding a long staff with large scythes at one end of each of them, the scythes reminded some of a praying mantis's appendages. White armor covered his arms, thin at his wrist and getting thicker until it reached his elbow, then repeated from his elbow to his shoulders. A yellow X was marked on his face. Something shaped like a crescent moon was on his head, one side higher than the other.

He lowered himself to the ground, still grinning like a mad man. "Well then, bring it!" he shouted, shocking the dragon into shooting flames at him. He dodged easily, but instead of leaping to the side, he leapt forward. The Horntail raised her head as he got closer, ready to bite down on him.

Instead of flesh, she bit metal. Nnoitra used one scythe to stop her from biting him, then used the other three to slash her neck. She pulled back with a roar as her blood sprayed from the sudden deep injuries. Nnoitra fell to the ground, landing on his feet. Enraged, the Horntail swung her tail down onto him, but he blocked with all four of his weapons. She raised her tail and stuck again, repeatedly trying to hit him but only damaging her tail more since he didn't use the blunt edge to block. One spike on her tail cut his shoulder, but he didn't yell in pain. He only smiled more.

Her tail hit again and when it landed on his scythes, he quickly sliced. The Horntail drew back her tail with a screech, blood flying everywhere, coating the inside of the enclosure and even Nnoitra himself. Part of the spiked tail landed not too far from him, cut off from the dragon.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed some wizards trying to get in past his barrier. "Fuck off, this is my fight!" he yelled at them.

"You're only supposed to get the egg, not kill the dragon!" Charlie Weasley yelled back.

"I'm not gonna fucking kill her!" Nnoitra shouted as the dragon lunged for him. "Maybe."

Two scythes went up to strike from above while the other two went to the side. As she drew closer, so did the scythes. The two from the sides hit first, stopping her from getting any closer. The tips dug into her neck and the more she struggled, the deeper they went. The two from above went down into her front paws that tried to reach for the other scythes.

She let out a shriek unimaginable. Everyone in the audience was stunned into silence by the sheer brutality. He wasn't even trying to go for the nest, he was just hurting the dragon. With a jerk of her head, she pulled back, pulling the two scythes in her neck from Nnoitra's hand. She shook her head side to side, dislodging the weapons. Both scythes fell to the ground with a loud clang, both cracking before disappearing. This did not seem to bother Nnoitra at all.

With a roar, she shot fire at him once again, trying to hit him. He pulled the two scythes from her injured feet and used them to block, then two more suddenly appeared in his hands and were added to the defense.

**This is very hot, Master.**

_I fucking know that!_

Once the fire stopped, he threw the scythes to the dragon. One hit her head, cutting her face diagonally. A second hit her neck, shocking her into opening her wings a bit more. The last two dug into her wings and kept going back until both appendages were pinned to the wall of the enclosure.

She roared and shrieked continuously, trying to move her wings. But every time her wings moved, the scythes tore them up even more. Seeing Nnoitra approaching her nest, she tried to snap at him, but with two scythes in hand, he pinned her head to the ground, the sharp edges pressing against the side of the dragon's head. She didn't dare move.

"Fucking dragon, weak piece of shit," he muttered as he picked up the golden egg. "Not even worth killing! Seriously, out of all that, I just get this damn cut? You're so fucking weak."

No one cheered as he grabbed his golden egg. No commentary as he fought the beast. Even the judges were pale in shock at what they had just seen.

"Way to go!" he heard Szayel yell out.

"Amazing job, Harry!" Tesla was next.

"I was expecting a bit more blood!" This earned Szayel some shocked and disgusted looks.

"I'm covering in this shit, what more do you want?!" Nnoitra yelled at him.

Szayel just laughed and clapped with Tesla and Ulquiorra, two out of the three cheering happily.

* * *

"That was simply amazing," Szayel commented as Nnoitra sealed Santa Teresa, the zanpakutou disappearing back into his mind. "I don't understand why everyone was so quiet, though."

"They were stunned by Harry's strength and power, that's why!" Tesla happily cried out.

"No, I believe it was because none of them were expecting such a show," Ulquiorra corrected.

Madam Pomfrey tabbed some purple liquid on Nnoitra's shoulder, right over the long yet shallow cut. "Now, just sit quietly for a minute – sit! And then you can go and get your score." She bustled off out of the tent to check on another patient.

"Well, I think everyone now knows I'm not some weak little shit," Nnoitra chuckled.

"You were absolutely, bloody insane!" Hermione screamed at him as she entered the tent.

"Ah, no, who the hell let her in?" Nnoitra groaned, waving a hand to her and Ron, who came in after. The other three just shrugged.

"Do you have any idea what you just did?!" she went on. "You nearly killed that dragon! No one was expecting injuries like that! A spell to the eye like Krum did, sure. But you slaughtered her!"

"If you actually saw him slaughter something, you wouldn't call that a slaughter," Szayel pointed out as he carefully removed some dragon blood off of Nnoitra's skin and put it into vials. "Thank you, dear. I can do much with this."

"You're bloody insane!" Ron yelled this time. "I was just talking to Charlie! He's looking over the dragon now! Said she would be lucky to fully heal from those injuries!"

"Well her own damn fault," Nnoitra scoffed. "She had her chances to stand down and she didn't. Damn lucky I left her alive. Was starting to piss me off."

"Don't pin this on the dragon! You were a… a…" Hermione seemed to be at a loss of words.

"A what?" Nnoitra scoffed. "A brute? A psycho?"

"A beast!" she screamed.

Nnoitra tensed, as did Szayel and Tesla. Ulquiorra looked at her with a blank stare. "Get the fuck out," the tall teen told her. For a brief second, he saw Nel there instead. "Both of you."

"Look, Harry," Ron started.

"I told you both to get the fucking hell out of here!" he shouted at them, getting to his feet. "You don't even fucking care, you asshole! You stopped following me around ever since my name flew out of the damn cup! Your fucking true colors showed! And guess what? So have mine! If you don't like what you see, then get the fuck out and leave me the hell alone!"

Hesitantly, the two left.

Szayel sighed as he placed his hand on Nnoitra's arm. "Let's go get your score then," he offered.

* * *

Amazingly, despite nearly killing the dragon, his score was the same as Krum's, the two tying in first place. Many students, though, didn't dare look at him now, too scared of angering him. He got a four from Madam Maxime, probably from being so cruel against the dragon, while Karkaroff surprisingly gave him a eight. Bagman, for reasons unknown, gave him a ten. Crouch surprisingly gave him a nine and Dumbledore, to the shock of many, also gave him a nine.

**They probably think that our show was an advanced form of magic.**

_Let them._

With the other three around him, he went back into the tent. Szayel conjured up some water and soap and started to try and wash some of the blood out of Nnoitra's hair, much to the taller boy's chagrin. Tesla sat at Nnoitra's feet while Ulquiorra sat in a nearby chair, reading a book quietly.

"So much blood wasted because of it being in your hair," Szayel complained. "At least there won't be much contamination getting it from your skin. I can clean it out easily. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about much dirt."

"You done complaining?" Nnoitra asked as the pink-haired teen squeezed some of the water out of his hair. It poured off red.

"No!" Szayel stated firmly and started to wash the hair again. "You are getting none tonight if you still have this blood in your hair, by the way."

"Damn it," Nnoitra muttered then smirked. "You may need to help me with that."

The other three champions came in at the same time. The only treatment noticeable on any of them was the orange cream covering half of Cedric's face. Cedric looked like he was now scared of Nnoitra. Fleur backed away when Szayel gave her a stare. Krum just watched the small group of four until Ulquiorra made eye contact. With a slight nod, Krum turned away.

"Well done, all of you!" Bagman exclaimed as he bounced into the tent. "Now, just a quick few words. You've got a nice long break before the second task, which will take place at half past nine on the morning of February the twenty-fourth – but we're giving you something to think about in the meantime! If you look down at those golden eggs you're all holding, you will see that they open…see the hinges there? You need to solve the clue inside the egg – because it will tell you what the second task is, and enable you to prepare for it! All clear? Sure? Well, off you go, then!"

"Good," Szayel scoffed, slapping the back of Nnoitra's head. "You need a shower. A long, cold shower."

"Why a cold one?" Tesla asked, looking up at him.

"Because you know how he is after a decent fight."

"But that wasn't a fucking decent fight."

"Cold. Shower."

* * *

There was no party for him because of the fear he installed with that one fight. People have seen him hit others, even punch a teacher, but they had never seen him that violent. He did not really care so long as it meant the idiots lefts him alone.

"So, want to open it now?" Tesla asked, holding up the egg.

Nnoitra shrugged as he took it from the younger teen. "I'm almost hesitant to open the damn thing," he admitted.

"Well you will have to sooner or later," Szayel pointed out from his spot behind the tall teen. "Why not sooner?"

"You might as well," Ulquiorra added. "The sooner you open it, the sooner you receive the clue, and the more time you have to find out and prepare for your second task."

"Fine," Nnoitra sighed before digging his fingernails into the groove and prying the egg open. It was hollow and empty, but made the most horrible shrieking wail imaginable. As quickly as it was opened, it was closed. "The fuck?"

**What the hell was that?!**

_Where have you been?_

**I was sleeping. Until I got the very rude wake up scream!**

_Wasn't my fault. I got pressured into opening the damn egg._

"A banshee, maybe?" Tesla asked. "But they can't do much other than scream at you, so why send one after you?"

"No, that wasn't really a banshee wail," Szayel stated, tapping his chin in contemplation. "I recognize the sound from somewhere, but I can't seem to remember where."

"Well, please do inform us when the knowledge re-enters your mind," Ulquiorra commented. "For now, I am off to bed."

* * *

He remembered hearing about the location of the kitchen and how to get in, so he was quite curious. Tesla, Ulquiorra, and Szayel accompanied him for the visit.

"What if you open that door and that little girl is in there?" Szayel asked as Nnoitra tickled the pear.

"To hell with her," he replied as the pear giggled and turned into a knob. "I could care less."

The room was large, the size of the Great Hall it seemed, with mounds of glittering pots and pans. He didn't get long to look around until he was tackled to the floor by a small creature yelling out, "Harry Potter, sir! Harry Potter!"

"Fucking hell, Dobby!" he shouted, shoving the little house elf off of him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Dobby has come to work at Hogwarts, sir!" the house elf squeaked, seeming to ignore the other three people looking at him. "Professor Dumbledore gave Dobby and Winky jobs, sir!"

"That's fucking nice, stop tackling me," he stated as he got to his feet. "So this is Dobby, guys. Dobby, this is Colin, Gabriel, and Alex."

"The house elf you freed from the family of that arrogant blonde with the superiority complex?" Szayel asked.

"The one you punched?" Ulquiorra asked this time.

"Yes," Nnoitra and Tesla both answered.

* * *

Dobby told them his own story just from a gentle question from Tesla, who Nnoitra smacked on the head. Tesla commented that he wasn't expecting a life story from a simple question. Szayel's reply to that was that everyone gave a life story to a simple question. Then Winky went on about how her poor master must be doing without her and Bagman being a bad wizard.

Nnoitra raised an eyebrow at that. Bagman was the type of guy he wanted to maim. But a bad wizard? He really isn't seeing it.

"Thank you," Szayel told a house elf as it refilled his tea cup. "So, is your curiosity satisfied now?"

"For the moment," Nnoitra replied with a smirk as he munched on a grilled chicken leg. "May come down here a bit more often."

* * *

"I have something to tell you all," McGonagall told their class moments from the bell signaling their release from the room. "The Yule Ball is approaching – a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for us to socialize with our foreign guests. Now, the ball will be open only to fourth years and above – although you may invite a younger students if you wish." One girl started to giggle while another tried to make her stop. "Dress robes will be worn and the ball will start at eight o'clock on Christmas Day, finishing at midnight in the Great Hall. Now then, the Yule Ball is of course a chance for us all to – er – let our hair down."

"We need a damn reason?" Nnoitra scoffed, leaning back in his seat. The girl laughed even harder, hand pressed against her mouth.

"But that does not mean that we will be relaxing the standards of behavior we expect from Hogwarts students. I will be most seriously displeased if a Gryffindor student embarrasses the school in any way."

"You're always fucking displeased when any Gryffindor does any kind of stupid shit," the tall teen pointed out.

The bell rang and everyone started to gather their things and leave. "Potter, a word, if you please."

Nnoitra sighed and rolled his eyes. "I am not going to do a damn thing about my fucking language."

"That is not the issue, though I hope for the sake of the ball, you will try to curb that tongue of yours. No, this is another matter. The champions and their partners-"

"Partners?" Nnoitra repeated with a quirked eyebrow.

"Your partners for the Yule Ball," she clarified coldly. "Your dance partner. Traditionally, the champions and their partners open the ball."

"Right, well I say fuck that."

"It is tradition," McGonagall firmly stated. "You are a Hogwarts champion, and you will do what is expected of you as a representative of the school. So make sure you get yourself a partner, Potter."

He sighed heavily. "Does it have to be a girl?" he asked. "Or will I get a lot of shit if I bring a guy?"

"Personally, Potter, after what you did to that dragon, I don't think anyone would try to argue with you about your decision. Silently judge you, maybe, but not say anything out loud. And let's face it, Potter, you really would not care."

"No, I really wouldn't."

* * *

"Hey there, sweet thing," Nnoitra greeted with a husky voice as he leaned over Szayel, who looked up from his book with a smirk. "So, hear about that ball yet?"

"Why yes, I have," Szayel replied, blinking flirtatiously as he pressed up against the wall behind him.

"Has anyone asked you yet, beautiful?"

**Terrible acting skills, master.**

_Shut up._

"I just so happen to be waiting for a certain someone to walk up and ask me, but it seems that he would rather be a bit of an asshole and leave me hanging." He sighed dramatically and twirled a strand of hair around his finger. "I suppose I will just have to accept the next person who asks me instead, just to piss him off."

"Well then, mind if you come to the dance with me instead of that asshole?"

Szayel chuckled, placing a hand over his mouth. "I'll meet you there. Christmas Day. Eight o'clock." He pushed away from the wall and started to walk off but paused momentarily. "Actually… six o'clock? That would give us a couple of hours to just have some fun, dear. "

"I know a good place where we can have fun," Nnoitra chuckled, grinning widely. "Come see me at six and I'll show you."

"Oh, mysterious and romantic. Hmm, brownie points."

* * *

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because, Colin, it was entirely predictable."

"I suppose so."

"…Well then, I suppose that you would wish to go as well."

"Well, it would be nice. I mean, how often does a dance like this come around?"

"Then I invite you to accompany me as a companion."

"Thank you, Alex. I appreciate that."

"Hey, I though Gabriel and I were the only gay ones!"

"Harry, I invite him as a friend, not as a date."

"…Same damn difference."

* * *

Christmas arrived and many students were excited about the Yule Ball happening that night. Nnoitra boredly looked around as students searched through the large crowd for their partners. Some girls were gathered together, giggling behind their hands.

"Hey, Harry?" a meek voice called.

Nnoitra growled lowly and looked at Ron, who was dressed in the old dress robes with frays on his neck and sleeves. "What the fuck do you want?"

"I…I…" He sighed. "I wanted to apologize for being such a prat earlier this year."

"Apology not accepted, now get the hell out of my sight," he stated as he scanned over the crowd.

"Look, Harry-"

"No," Nnoitra said firmly, glaring at Ron from the corner of his eyes.

Finally taking the hint or just giving up for a later date, the redhead left.

"What was that about?" Tesla asked, coming up from behind with Ulquiorra next to him.

"Wanted to apologize for earlier this year, told him to fuck off," Nnoitra answered with a smirk. "Hey, either of you seen Gabriel while getting here?"

"He was hiding around a corner, deciding on whether he should keep his hair pink or turn it a different color," Ulquiorra replied, pointing over his shoulder.

Nnoitra sighed heavily and went to locate his wayward lover. He was around the corner, a mirror in his hand and muttering to himself as his hair flipped through several colors. Students around him gave him a wide berth. "Gabriel," he called.

Szayel looked up, his hair a royal violet. "Sorry, but I can't decide!" he complained then went back to his mirror.

While he was staring at his reflection, Nnoitra took the mirror out of Szayel's hands as his hair shifted to a dark blonde. Confused, the shorter teen looked back up at him. "You look great, but keep the pink hair. I'm not used to you walking around with anything but pink hair. Only you can pull that off and still look sexy, in my opinion."

With a small and shy smile, Szayel willed his hair to return to its pink color as he tucked it behind his ear. "Well, thank you," he replied, though was mentally thinking about how ivory colored dress robes didn't go well with pink, but he knows better than to argue. Then again, his dress robes are nearly white, so it shouldn't be that hard to pull off.

"Now, you done being a drama queen?" Nnoitra asked as he held out his hand.

"I am never done," Szayel replied as he placed his hand into the other's. "I am a natural actor, my dear. It's just the way I am."

As he led the other teen back to Ulquiorra and Tesla, the doors opened and the rest of the Durmstrang students entered, led by Karkaroff. Krum was at the head of the party, though, with a pretty girl dressed in blue.

"My, my," Szayel chuckled. "Even a bookworm such as her can be impressive."

"Wait…" Nnoitra trailed off, looking at the girl. "That's the bitch?"

"It would seem that way," Ulquiorra replied.

"Never thought she would look that beautiful," Tesla said in awe, his eyes combing over every detail, from her sleek and shiny hair to her non-buck-toothed smile. He was even taking in the dress she wore and her straight back, no longer slouched from the weight of tomes.

"Champions over here, please!" McGonagall called.

"We shall see you inside," Szayel told the other three as he and Nnoitra went with the other champions. Ulquiorra nodded and Tesla gave a small bow.

McGonagall, noticing Nnoitra's date, wisely said nothing.

* * *

The feast was enjoyed without any problems. Krum told Hermione about his school until Karkaroff cut him off. Fleur bragged about the beauty of Beauxbatons, until Szayel told her to shut up in his own way, polite to the ears of those who don't know him, but insulting to the ears of those who do. Fleur even blushed in embarrassment.

Soon enough, the band was set up and picking up their instruments. Szayel had to pull the disgruntled Nnoitra to his feet, who looked like he would rather just sit there with his pink-haired lover in his lap.

**Get up. Go dance.**

"You know I don't dance," he told both Szayel and Santa Teresa as he finally stood.

"I know," Szayel told him, placing one hand on the taller teen's shoulder as Nnoitra put one of his own on Szayel's hip. Their other hands were locked together. "But you still had quite a few moves back in the day."

**He has a point.**

Nnoitra chuckled as the music started. "Let me rephrase," he started. "I hate dancing without a good beat. And this song is slow as hell."

Szayel chuckled and slowly shook his head as other pairs joined in the dance with the champions. "They're working on it."

A little confused, Nnoitra waited until the first song was done, and apparently, so did whoever Szayel was talking about. The band 'Weird Sisters' were suddenly knocked off the stage, making many panic and look around, trying to pinpoint who did it.

"Alright, slow shit out of the way. Time for a part-ay!" someone yelled out, their voice amplified.

In place of the band were four people, all with very noticeable features. One Nnoitra recognized as Santa Teresa. If he didn't recognize her, he would be in trouble. Next to her was another woman with pale skin, red hair, and dressed in a tight, skimpy white dress, her breasts nearly popping out of the top and the bottom trimming barely passing her thighs. If one looked close enough, the pink designs on her dress and skin moved like folded wings. At the tips of her fingers were long red nails, almost claw like. There were some red markings around her half-lidded honey eyes. At Santa Teresa's other side was a black-haired woman covered mostly in black fur, except for her stomach and back. Her form was very…for lack of better words, a gift from God to the average man. The thing, though, that was most noticeable about her was her large wings, long ears, and whip-like tail. In front of the three women was a sandy-haired man, grinning widely. He looked mostly human, except for his bulging muscles and hoofed feet. He was dressed enough to cover certain areas, his lower half completely covered by grayish-brown fur.

"Alright, alright, alright!" he went on. "Seems to me you wizards aren't exposed to good music! So, give me a beat, girls!"

Fornicaras smirked and, modifying her own voice, started off. "There's a place downtown, where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all." A beat started up, electronic sounding. Nnoitra, Szayel, and Tesla all cheered. Not exactly what Nnoitra would listen to, but better than the Weird Sisters. Grabbing Szayel, they started a dance that Nnoitra was more used to, plenty of beat to move both of them. Tesla soon joined them. Ulquiorra preferred softer music, so he stayed at a table and watched as others joined in as the song went on.

"When the dark, of the night comes around. That's the time, that the animal comes alive. Looking for something wild. And now we lookin' like pimps in my gold Trans-Am. Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag. Got my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the mornin'. But tonight I don't give a…I don't give a…I don't give a… There's a place downtown, where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free for all. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off. There's a place I know if you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off.

"Lose your mind. Lose it now. Lose your clothes in the crowd. We're delirious. Tear it down 'til the sun comes back around. N-now we're getting so smashed. Knocking over trash cans. Eurbody breakin' bottles, it's a filthy hot mess. Gonna get faded I'm not the designated driver so I don't give a…I don't give a…I don't give a…There's a place downtown, where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free for all. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off. There's a place I know if you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off.

"Oh, oh, oh! EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF! Oh, Oh, Oh! EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Oooh. Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! Right now! TAKE IT OFF! EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!

"There's a place downtown where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free for all. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off. There's a place I know if you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor. And they turn me on. When they Take It Off. When they Take It Off. Everybody Take It Off."

No surprise, most of the half-bloods and Muggleborns cheered and clapped at the end of the song. The Purebloods just looked confused until realizing that they were now listening to Muggle music. Many of them removed themselves from the dance floor.

"Aww, don't be like that!" Verruga scolded playfully, grin still wide on his face. "Let me hear one, ladies and gentlemen. Call one out!"

"Last Resort by Papa Roach!" someone yelled out.

Verruga grinned and looked at the three behind him. "Shall we, ladies?"

"You're singing this time," Murcielago told him with a flick of her tail.

"Well, duh! I'm the only guy in this group!"

"Hold it right there!" someone yelled out. Nnoitra scowled as Dumbledore, Maxime, and Karkaroff all went to the group of four materialized zanpakutous. They could not reach them sooner because of the mass of dancing half-bloods and Muggleborns.

"Yeah?" Verruga asked uncaringly.

"I demand to know who you are and how you managed to get into this school," Dumbledore told him firmly.

Fornicaras giggled madly as Santa Teresa shook her head. Murcielago just cackled and Verruga smirked. "We've got our own little secrets, buddy," he replied. "See, a little birdie told us this would be a boring party, so we decided to chip in and make it more exciting."

"You have no business here!" Dumbledore went on.

"Shut it, you old goat," Murcielago chirped happily. "Hopefully, you won't see us again after tonight. For now, we're here to make this ball a rave!"

Many students cheered and whooped.

"So, glad you didn't ditch last second?" Szayel asked as Verruga started singing Last Resort. He was, surprisingly, a great singer.

"Hell yeah! This is fucking awesome!"

* * *

The zanpakutous completely took control over the party, no matter what Dumbledore or any teacher did since all four were great at evasion and still making it look like a part of the performance. So far, they had sung The Bad Touch (to the staff's horror), On the Floor, Evolution, even going into foreign languages like Reich Mir de Hand, and other songs like S.E.X. (again, to the horror of the teachers). Sometime during Where's My Angel, both Nnoitra and Szayel stepped outside.

"That was fucking great," Nnoitra chuckled as the pair walked around in the gardens outside.

"Well, they were actually planning that since they heard the word 'Ball' and connected it with 'boring'," Szayel explained with a small smile. "We just decided to keep it from you."

The taller teen threw his head back and laughed for a moment.

* * *

Tesla found the pair when they came back in from their walk outside, choosing to ignore the confrontations they overheard. At the moment, Murcielago was singing Follow Me Down with Verruga.

"Diggory wanted me to pass on a bit of advice," he stated.

"What?" Nnoitra asked, his body already moving with the beat.

"He said to take a bath with the egg."

Nnoitra actually paused and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "The fuck?"

* * *

"Are you insane?!" Szayel yelled at him, bundled in his thick coat as he watched Nnoitra swim into the lake. "You'll get hypothermia or pneumonia! Get out of the water this instant!"

"Relax!" Nnoitra waved off, egg in his hand. "Hey, if I'm not back up in a minute, drag my ass out."

"NNOITRA GILGA, IF YOU DROWN, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

"Good thing no one else is this far from the castle," Tesla commented as Nnoitra went underwater with the egg. "No one to hear that."

"If someone at the castle did not hear him, I would die of shock," Ulquiorra replied as he read his book.

After a while, Nnoitra finally broke the calm surface, inhaling deeply before shaking the water out of his shoulder-length hair. Catching enough air in his lungs, he finally swam back to the shore. "So," he said, his feet finding the ground and letting him walk the rest of the way to dry land. "What the fuck screams above the water but sings below it?"

Tesla blinked at him. Ulquiorra looked like he didn't care. Szayel, however, had a beaming smile on his face. "Mermaids," he replied. "Ugly things, really, nothing like the Muggle portray them. What was the clue?"

"Some bullshit about taking something important from me and having a damn hour time limit to get it back."

"Well, we need to figure out how to make you breathe underwater."

"Gillyweed," Ulquiorra suggested offhandedly.

"The fuck is that?"

With a roll of his eyes, Ulquiorra turned the book he was reading around and tapped at the page he flipped to.

"Perfect!" Szayel chirped, clapping his hands once. "Now, we just need to get some!"

* * *

The day of the task was soon upon him. He was content to just lay in bed, nice and warm, instead of swimming in a cold lake. The next thing he knows, Ulquiorra is shaking him awake. Szayel woke with him.

"What the hell do you want, Emocar?" Nnoitra groggily asked. Szayel noticed no one else was in the dorm other than themselves.

"Tesla is gone," Ulquiorra pointed out. "I believe he is the important item you are to regain from the mermaids in the lake." Then he held out his hand. "I also managed to locate some gillyweed from the greenhouse of aquatic plants."

Nnoitra scoffed. "First damn thing is my mouth today is gonna be a pile of fucking rat tails. Fun…"

"You are also running a bit late for the task."

"Fuck them all…"

Szayel slapped Nnoitra's side. "Grab the damn gillyweed and get down to the lake so you can rescue Tesla. We'll be right behind you."

"Fine… And for the record, if he's conscious, Tesla does not need rescuing. The fucking merpeople will."

* * *

Everyone was already gathered outside, just waiting impatiently for Nnoitra to show up. He just casually strolled up to the line of the other three champions, ignoring Percy's near outburst at him. At the moment, all he wore was a pair of tight pants, not tight enough to hug his lower body, but not loose enough to be snagged by underwater flora.

Which put his back and chest in view of everyone.

"My goodness!" Bagman gasped. "Harry, were you attacked by someone?"

"What the fuck are you going on about?" Nnoitra scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"You have cuts everywhere! Is that a burn on your chest?!"

Blinking, Nnoitra looked down at his torso then shrugged with a smirk. "It's just some rough love. Wait until Gabriel gets into Filch's torture equipment. He's almost there, too." He snickered at the looks on everyone's faces.

* * *

_Those are some ugly motherfuckers._

**Makes you wonder how normal people got the idea that merpeople are beautiful.**

Many of the merpeople watched Nnoitra warily as he just floated there and stared at them blankly. Then his gaze went to the statue that Tesla and three others were tied to. He recognized Hermione right off, a second girl he saw was Cho Chang, and the third girl was young, but no one he knew.

**Well there they are.**

_Just give me a minute. I wanna sit here and freak these assholes out for a bit._

After a moment, Diggory came into the mer-village with a large bubble around his head. He pulled a knife out of his pocket, cut his hostage free, then swam away with a confused look on his face as Nnoitra just stared down the merpeople.

**You're going to come in last at this pace.**

_Hold on a second. They're starting to twitch._

Santa Teresa sighed then grinned slyly. **Is this your way of discreetly waiting to see if the other hostages will be saved?**

_Hell no!_

He swam over to Tesla and with a sharp tug, the weed snapped, surprising and scaring many of the merfolk. Grabbing Tesla as a shark-headed Krum swam over to Hermione, Nnoitra headed up to the surface.

* * *

Tesla, as soon as they broke the surface, woke and immediately clung to Nnoitra. Being a boar-based Arrancar in the past, he could not swim very well in the first place. And unfortunately, it seemed that passed on into his rebirth.

"Mind not choking me?" Nnoitra asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Sorry, sir," Tesla muttered, loosening his grip around Nnoitra's neck. Then he noticed the injuries on Nnoitra. "I take it Szayel was trying to pull out everything on you last night. Wasn't he?"

"You should have seen the looks everyone had," Nnoitra cackled as he swam to shore, Tesla still on his back. "They thought I was fucking jumped!"

"Well, you were in a way."

_See? It's always time for sex thoughts._

**See? You're a terrible influence on Tesla.**

**See? You're both fucking crazy!**

_…Verruga…get the fuck out._

* * *

The merpeople had to return the little girl, Fleur's sister. Nnoitra tried not to snicker when Fleur called out her sister's name in relief.

"Your name and her sister's name…" Nnoitra started, towel draped around his neck as Tesla tried to cover as much of himself as he could.

"I know…" Szayel sighed as the judges gathered for point discussion. "Hers in the more feminine version, though. Oh, poor Colin. I'll make you something nice and warm once we get back inside. What do you say?"

"You're going to spike it with something, aren't you?" Tesla accused with narrowed eyes.

"Maaaybe…"

"I'll pass."

Bagman then started to talk, announcing each champion, what they used for their underwater rescue, and how many points they received. In the end, Nnoitra and Cedric were tied.

"…You know what? I could go for some fucking kink…"

Szayel looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Last night wasn't enough?"

The other champions and whoever else was around them went wide-eyed as Nnoitra gestured to himself and complained, "This is nothing! Where were the damn needles and acid? Come on! All you brought were a fucking knife and a lighter! You didn't even penetrate the muscle!"

"You needed those muscles for the task."

"Would have been fine as hell with them hurt."

"You are both insane," Ulquiorra sighed, turning around and walking away like a wise man.

With a grin, Szayel yelled out a short explanation. "He likes pain and I like dishing it out!"

"Again, you are both insane."

* * *

A few days after the task, a note too small to be called a proper letter came to Nnoitra from Sirius, telling him to meet him at Hogsmeade and to bring a lot of food. Nnoitra just resorted to muttering under his breath about how stupid his godfather is and went on to class, skillfully ignoring the clutters of females around the castle, giggling at something in a magazine.

"Witch's Weekly," Szayel noted as he followed the taller teen. "Such poor taste, hardly informative. Oh well, whatever pleases the female population, I suppose."

"You know, following me around like this, I bet you're bored," Nnoitra stated. "Not that I'm complaining."

Szayel chuckled. "Well, my love, I will have you know that I do tend to enjoy following you around. You do the funniest things and maybe I'll get something new to experiment with or on if I stay near you. Besides, you're on your way to Potions and I want to talk to Master Snape."

"Master Snape? Something I need to fucking know?"

**Don't act so jealous. Szayel is way above cheating.**

A wave of a finely manicured hand. "Not in that sense. I meant Potions Master Snape, just easier to say Master Snape. See I'm thinking of becoming a Potions Master myself, but I need to be apprenticed to a Potions Master first. So I want to ask if he will take me under his wing."

Nnoitra snorted. "Good luck."

"And think about it, if I can convince him yes, I will be here. In Hogwarts. Just a few floors away from you. During my entire apprenticeship."

A grin quickly grew on the taller teen's face.

* * *

After a threat of Veritaserum, which Nnoitra skillfully shot off with smart-ass comments, Szayel confronted the local dungeon bat.

**I'm telling Murcielago.**

_Just whose side are you on, anyway?_

From what he managed to catch, so long as Szayel puts his studies before anything else and can make a list of potions without messing one up at all under Snape's supervision, he will have his apprenticeship. Giddily, Szayel took the list and went to work right next to Nnoitra.

"He also said that I shouldn't be around you at all, but I informed him that Colin and I are the only ones keeping you happy, calm, and sane. He backed off."

Sometime near the end of class, Karkaroff came in. Both reincarnated Espadas watched him confront Snape for a few seconds.

**I wonder what he's so nervous about.**

_Kind of reminds me of Quirrell's fake behavior…_

Santa Teresa did a quick browse of Nnoitra's memories. **…That's…not a good thing…**

_…Voldemort involvement?_

**Most likely.**

* * *

They found not a man, but a dog waiting for them at the stile. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow as Tesla ran up to the dog and scratched it behind the ears. "Oh, Sirius, you are pathetic," Nnoitra commented as Sirius melted under Tesla's touch. Not that he could blame him. Tesla had great hands and gave amazing massages.

"How often have you been in that situation, I wonder," Szayel playfully sighed as Sirius pulled away from Tesla's scratching hand and sniffed the bag in the other.

He panted happily then trotted off. Without another word, they followed after him. After a climb up a stony path that was steep and winding, they made it into a fissure where Buckbeak was laying.

"A hippogriff," Szayel spoke in awe, bowing lowly to the creature. Nnoitra did a slight bow of his head as Ulquiorra and Tesla bowed to the creature as well. After a brief moment, Buckbeak bowed back and Tesla was at the creature's side, rubbing his feathered neck while Szayel thoroughly examined the hippogriff.

"See, this is why I don't get you things," Nnoitra stated as Sirius changed back into his human form.

"Hi, Sirius," Tesla greeted, holding out the back of chicken, bread, and pumpkin juice. "This is all we managed to take, so sorry."

"Better than I would have thought," Sirius reassured. "Thank you."

"So what the fuck are you doing back here?" Nnoitra asked as Sirius bit down into a chicken leg.

"Fulfilling my duty as godfather," Sirius replied. "Don't worry about it. I'm pretending to be a lovable stray. By the way, who are they?"

"Excuse our manners, I am Gabriel Ranimer. You and I met through the fire. And this is Alexander Oblansk. I suppose you can say we're old friends of Harry's that he hasn't seen in a long time."

* * *

After scanning the two Daily Prophets Sirius had handed him, he scoffed. "Drama," he pointed out. "Making it sound like the asshole is dying or some shit like that."

"Well he did look quite ill when your name flew out of the Goblet," Szayel pointed out from his spot against Buckbeak, hand gently caressing the hippogriff's feathered neck.

"Did I just lose you to an animal?" Nnoitra asked with a blank stare.

Szayel smirked playfully. "You'll never understand our love!"

"It's called bestiality," Tesla threw in with a grin, trying not to laugh.

"Am I missing something here?" Sirius suddenly asked, looking back and forth between Szayel and Nnoitra.

"You're right, he isn't Stark."

"You doubted me?"

"Harry is gay and is currently in a romantic relationship with Gabriel," Ulquiorra explained briefly with a small sigh.

Nnoitra scoffed. "Romantic. We fuck each other."

**Wrong thing to say, Master.**

_Why?_

"You're fourteen years old, Harry!" Sirius exclaimed. "And he's seventeen!"

**That's why.**

"Point being…?"

Sirius groaned and dropped his head into his open hand. "When did my godson become so corrupted?"

"I've been corrupted! I don't know what the fuck took you so long to figure that out!"

"Harry, my love, stop trying to break your godfather."

"Too late."

* * *

After a brief explanation of what happened at the Quidditch World Cup, Sirius went silent in thought. "When the Dark Mark was conjured, and the elf had been discovered holding Harry's wand, what did Crouch do?" he asked lowly.

"Went digging through the bushes," Nnoitra answered. "Like he was looking for some other little shit to take the blame."

"Of course, of course. He'd want to pin it on anyone but his own elf…and then he sacked her?"

"Poor elf," Szayel sighed dramatically. "Except for that one, Dobby I believe you said his name is, have you ever seen a elf's reaction to being freed like that? It just breaks their poor little hearts. They devote their entire lives to the family they are bound to. So why would he sack her just like that?"

"That is a good question," Ulquiorra stated.

At this point, Sirius was up and pacing, muttering to himself. He gave them a brief explanation of Barty Crouch, then told them about how Crouch rose to power only to fall from it because of his son being caught amongst Death Eaters.

"Daddy wasn't paying little baby boy enough attention," Nnoitra chuckled tauntingly. "So little boy turns into dumbass rebel and gets into trouble. Did Daddy get him out?"

"No," Sirius replied, surprised Nnoitra summarized it that easily. "Gave him a trial that was just an excuse for Crouch to show how much he hated the boy, then he sent him straight to Azkaban."

"Harsh," the tall teen commented. "So he still there or what?"

"No," Sirius replied with a slow shake of his head, probably remembering his time in Azkaban. "He died about a year after they brought him in."

"Typical," Szayel sighed uncaringly, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. "So anything important to add on other than a dead boy?"

* * *

"Snape was a Death Eater?" Tesla asked in surprise.

Nnoitra shrugged. "Makes sense," he commented with a wave of his hand. "Karkaroff was freaking out about something to Snape all the time. Hell, just the other day, he was trying to show that fucker something on his arm."

"Possibly the Dark Mark," Ulquiorra threw in. "I heard Voldemort marked all his followers with it, generally on their arms, but it was also more than a simple mark. He could summon them through those marks."

Nnoitra was reminded about the numbers branded on them back when they were in Hueco Mundo. Every Arrancar marked by Aizen, like they were his property. He hated it.

Sirius looked at him in surprise. "Where did you get that information?"

"I attend Durmstrang. We learn many things about Dark Lords. I, on the other hand, wish to learn something else."

"You are not going to find out what the heart is by attending a school," Szayel chuckled.

Ulquiorra simply refused to reply.

* * *

"What's the time?" Sirius suddenly asked after talking about Bertha Jorkins.

"Half past three," Szayel replied, looking at the sky outside.

"I will never understand how the hell you can do that," Nnoitra sighed as he got to his feet and stretched his arms.

"You'd better get back to the school," Sirius told them as he got to his feet as well. "Now listen. I don't want you sneaking out of school to come see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you're not going to leave Hogwarts without permission; it would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack you."

"You truly have no clue as to who he is, do you?" Tesla blandly stated.

"Anyone's welcome to fucking try it," Nnoitra pointed out with a grin. "I'll tear them a new one."

"For some reason, I don't doubt it," the escaped convict sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Just get back to the school, all four of you! And listen, if you talk about me amongst yourselves, call me Snuffles. Got it?"

A snort escaped Nnoitra. "Couldn't come up with a better name?"

* * *

The interrogation of Winky did not go as well planned as they had hoped, especially since the girl Nnoitra so fondly called 'bitch' was there as well. All they got out of the House Elf was that Crouch had some sort of secret, but she wasn't saying any more than that. And they realized how drunk a House Elf could get off of butterbeer.

Then Winky passed out and was covered up. Nnoitra snickered when he remembering doing that to a few Arrancars after getting them totally wasted then dumping them somewhere completely random. Szayel always found those little pranks funny as well. They would sit together watching the monitors as the pranked Arrancar tried to find their way around or panicked when they realized where they were exactly.

Of course, Hermione had to open her mouth and try to force her views on House Elf treatment onto them, which resulted in all of them being shoved out of the kitchen.

"Why the hell am I being blamed for your fuck up?" Nnoitra growled at her. "You know, for a smart bitch, you're dumb as hell."

* * *

Szayel stared with a raised eyebrow at the stack of mail in front of him. Ulquiorra actually put his book down, curious about the pile. Tesla and Nnoitra were looking towards the snickering Slytherin's. He remembered a while back, there was an article by Rita Skeeter coming up with all kinds of things about him and Szayel. Apparently, after the Yule Ball, word truly got out.

"People must have nothing more to do with their pathetic little lives," Szayel sighed as he opened one. "Honestly, saying that I'm turning you into a…my! What words!"

"Burn 'em," Nnoitra suggested casually.

Szayel hummed then threw his opened letter on top of the stack before pulling out a vial filled with a reddish-orange liquid. "I've been wanting to see how well this works, anyway." He uncorked it and poured the potion onto the pile. Once it touched the insulting mail, the scent of burning invaded the surrounding nostrils, many students covering their noses. When the entire vial was empty, the pile was on fire. "Hmm, too slow at creating the fire. I need to see what can be done about that." He pulled out a notebook and started writing neatly in it.

"A potion that sets whatever it touches on fire?!" Hermione shrieked in shock.

"Yes, would you like me to test my next batch on you? No? Then shut up."

"How long is it going to burn?" Ulquiorra asked, watching the fire grow and engulf the mail.

"Don't know, we'll see."

* * *

Nnoitra stared at the Quidditch field with a quirked eyebrow. Hedges were growing all over it.

"Don't worry," Bagman reassured cheerfully. "You'll have your Quidditch field back to normal once the task is over. Now, I imagine you can guess what we're making here?"

"A fucking maze," the tall teen scoffed. "Real original, make a maze out of some damn shrubs."

"Yes, a maze," Bagman confirmed. "The third task's really very straightforward. The Triwizard Cup will be placed in the center of the maze. The first champion to touch it will receive full marks."

"We seemply 'ave to get through the maze?" Fleur asked.

Before Bagman could answer, Nnoitra burst out laughing. "You're a right dumb bitch, aren't you? Nothing is ever that damn easy. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if there were creatures and curses in there."

Bagman nodded. "Yes, Hagrid is providing a number of creatures, spells that need to be broken, all that sort of thing." He went on explaining the order of the champions' entrance before they were dismissed.

**Master, there is something going on in the woods.**

_None of my fucking business, I am going back to my little pink-haired, menacing lover._

Santa Teresa sighed heavily. **Very well**.

* * *

"So I heard the Triwizard judge Crouch was in the forest and attacked Viktor," Ulquiorra spoke at breakfast the next morning. "By the time anyone got there, Viktor was unconscious and Crouch had disappeared."

Szayel hummed as he ran his fingers through Nnoitra's hair, once again sitting on his lap so he can perform this task. "How interesting," he commented. "Learn anything from that rumor?"

"Karkaroff spat at Dumbledore and accused him of trying to thin out the competition, making it easier for a Hogwarts victory. Also, apparently from what Viktor has said, the man was mad. He was speaking to a tree and calling it Weatherby then whenever his attention went to Viktor, he spoke in broken sentences, repeating that something was his fault and he needed to see Dumbledore."

Nnoitra rolled his eyes. "Fucker went nuts, that's all there is to it."

**See? I told you something was going on!**

_Nothing fun other than a raving lunatic…wait, I could have killed that guy…_

His zanpakutou slapped her forehead in disbelief.

* * *

It was his break. He laid on his bed, curled up under the covers and catching up on some much needed sleep. His dream was very odd, though.

There was a huge snake and a short, balding man Nnoitra easily identified as Wormtail.

"You are in luck, Wormtail." The voice cold and high pitch. "You are very fortunate indeed. Your blunder has not ruined everything. He is dead.

Wormtail sniveled on the floor. "My Lord! My Lord, I am… I am so pleased…and so sorry."

"Nagini you are out of luck. I will not be feeding Wormtail to you, after all… but never mind, never mind… there is still Harry Potter…" The serpent hissed. "Now, Wormtail, perhaps one more little reminder why I will not tolerate another blunder from you…"

"My Lord… no… I beg you…"

"Crucio!"

"Fucking shit!" Nnoitra yelled, pain searing from his scar. "Damn it all to Aizen and back!"

* * *

Santa Teresa stared at the other entity in her masters mind, eyes narrowed. "I told you not to do that," she told him, casually walking up to him. "I told you what would happen."

"Please…no…" the fragment of Voldemort's soul whimpered as Santa Teresa pulled out two outfits.

"School girl or French maid?" she asked with a grin. "It's time for my pampering again!"

* * *

"Quite odd how your scar hurts when he is angry," Szayel commented, thumb tracing over the scar on Nnoitra's head.

"Any ideas why?" Tesla asked, sounding worried about this.

"Many," Szayel sighed heavily. "I will need much time for research."

Nnoitra stared at him blankly. "You spend all your time researching some kind of shit."

"That's not true! It's either research or sex with you."

The ever silent Ulquiorra rolled his eyes and shook his head before walking off.

* * *

"I spy with my little eye some little shit acting weird," Nnoitra commented.

Szayel quirked an eyebrow and peered over the top of his tome then hummed gently. "Yes, I wonder what he is doing exactly."

"Almost looks like he's on a walkie-talkie," Tesla observed, noticing Malfoy's hand close to his mouth.

"I don't see anything on his hand," Nnoitra pointed out with a scoff. "He's up to some kind of shit."

"He always is."

"…Point for Colin."

* * *

Four pairs of eyes scanned over the newspaper as the Slytherin's taunted. "Let's see, disturbed and dangerous," Nnoitra muttered under his breath. "Short temper…violent tendencies…Parseltongue…"

"Fascinating," Szayel commented. "Also bloodthirsty, must be about your fight with the dragon…wait a moment…"

"How did she know your scar hurt?" Tesla asked, looking up at the older teen.

"One second," Nnoitra sighed as he got to his feet and went over to the jeering Slytherin's. "Any of you fuckers wanna see how fucking violent I can get?!" The Slytherin's, for once in their short lives, wisely shut up. "I fucking thought so. Now shut the hell up or you're all my fucking punching bags. I've had enough of your bullshit and quit dragging my into your fucking meaningless drama. You can all go fuck yourselves!"

Szayel sighed with a shake of his head and a soft smile. "He can only stand my drama," he chuckled. "Anyone else and he wants to kill them."

Tesla nodded in agreement, as did Ulquiorra. "Though I must admit," the former Cuatro started. "His temper has improved."

Ron and Hermione, who overheard the other three, sputtered. That's an improved temper?!

* * *

"I don't got any family I want to see, so no point in dragging my ass there," Nnoitra pointed out then walked away from the stern McGonagall.

**How about to mingle?**

_With who? The only people I mingle with are Szayel, Tesla, and Ulquiorra._

**…Okay, you win that round.**

_Nnoitra fifteen…_

**I still have twenty-two.**

_Damn you straight to Aizen._

**Well, at least Kyoka Suigetsu isn't so bad. I have more fun with Shinso, though. He's so random!**

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen," Dumbledore started announcing. "In five minutes time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch field for the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr. Bagman down to the stadium now."

"Good luck," Tesla said as Nnoitra got to his feet.

"No such fucking thing as luck," the tall teen chuckled. "It's all skill."

"Well, at least your did practice some magic," Szayel sighed. "Santa Teresa can only get you so far."

Nnoitra shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Hey, been getting me pretty damn far for the past couple years!"

* * *

The maze was so painfully easy to navigate. Las Noches was harder. Half the time, he couldn't find his own room. He often thought Szayel was just playing with him since whatever corridor he took led him right back to the Octava. Though this time, there is no horny mad scientist changing the white halls. There is only green grass and hedges and the dark night sky.

Occasionally, he heard something but just brushed it off. He really did not give a damn. Eventually, he spotted something glowing in the distance.

**Something does not feel right,** Santa Teresa noted as her master approached the Cup.

_When does it ever?_

**Hey, how often have I said that and it's true?**

_Way too many times._

**Exacta!**

He stood in front of the Cup, debating with himself on whether he should grab it or not.

**It's a trap.**

_Most likely._

**…You're planning on it being one, aren't you?**

…_Maybe…_

His hand reached out and grasped the Cup before the feeling of a hook in his navel jerked him away from his spot. Next thing he knew, he was in a graveyard.

_Well…shit just hit the fan…_

**You don't say?**

_Knock it off._

He rose to his feet and looked around. Dark and a little bit misty. "Creepy," he muttered under his breath before he was suddenly thrown into a tombstone and bound to it. "…Fuck…"

* * *

"Bone of the father-"

"Hey, asshole!"

"-unknowingly given-"

"Worthless piece of shit!"

"-you will renew your son!"

"I'm talking to you, shit face!"

Wormtail held his hand over the cauldron and a knife at his wrist after the bone was dropped in. "Flesh of the servant-"

"Fucking coward!"

"-willingly given-"

"Fucker, I'm trying to tell you something!"

"-you will revive your master!"

He cut through his wrist, his hand dropping into the water.

"I was gonna offer to do that for your sorry ass. I would take great pleasure in it!"

He approached Nnoitra with the dagger in his tight grip. "Blood of the enemy-"

"You're an asshole."

"-forcibly taken-"

"You can go fuck yourself."

"-you will resurrect your foe!"

"Fucking dramatic," Nnoitra muttered as the blade dug into his arm and blood was collected. "Yeah, you done yet?"

* * *

"Will you stop interrupting me?!" Voldemort yelled at the smug teen.

"I have heard way too many fucking life stories this year, spare me! By the way, you're so ugly, even your mother wouldn't want you around. Oh wait, she's dead, ain't she? Probably killed herself when she saw your ugly ass."

**Master, you are very suicidal.**

_No, I'm just having fun._

"So is your mother, Potter, but I killed her."

"And that is supposed to bother me how?"

Voldemort looked at him with critical eyes. "You're very odd."

"I'm generally called very crazy."

The Dark Lord simply shook his head and waved his hand, easily silencing Nnoitra from interrupting again as he went on with his story. Nnoitra watched blandly.

_Can you do anything about this?_

**One second…working on it…and…done!**

"Shut the fuck up, you fucking piece of shit!"

**…Yeah…you're suicidal.**

* * *

"You've been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?" Voldemort asked with a taunting smirk.

"You wanna duel with swords or with wands? I'm better at swords. You know what, fuck it." He pulled out his wand, knowing a sword fight would not be fun at this point since his opponent knew nothing about any weapon other than the stick in his hand.

"We bow to each other, Harry," Voldemort went on, bending little. Nnoitra gave him the finger. "Come, the niceties must be observed…Dumbledore would like you to show manners…Bow to death, Harry…"

The Death Eaters laughed until they saw Nnoitra throw his head back and laugh loudly. "You think I'm scared of death? Hahahaha! Oh, you're funny!" He stopped laughing suddenly, but his piano-like teeth gleamed in the firelight, his eyes wide and maniacal. "You're a down right moron, fucker! I don't bow to shit!"

Angered, Voldemort pointed his wand to the teen. "I said bow!"

Nnoitra fought the feeling of an invisible hand pushing him down. "I said, I don't bow to shit, especially fuckers like you."

"Crucio!"

Nnoitra let the curse hit, feeling the searing pain of a thousand needles jabbing his skin, fire burning in his veins, electricity surging through his body. He smiled, though, and taunted. "That all you got? I'm just barely getting hard over here."

The Death Eaters were stunned. Voldemort was shocked.

"My turn!" He rushed forward, hand going straight for Voldemort's throat in order to crush it. The Dark Lord moved back to evade the attack. "You should die and stay dead sometime," Nnoitra chuckled. "You might learn some things!" He ran forward again, this time kicking out his leg. Once again, Voldemort dodged, but stumbled a little bit. "What's the matter? Can't you move that fast?"

"Crucio!"

The curse hit him again and Nnoitra laughed. "When will you fucking learn?"

"Avada Kedavra!" Master!

"Fuck…Expelliarmus!"

_Can't school teach any fucking useful spells?!_

Green and red clashed.

* * *

Three ghosts emerged from the tip of Voldemort's wand, some old man, Lily Potter, then James Potter. Them telling him to 'hold on' and 'don't let go' was kind of annoying.

"When the connection is broken, we will linger for only moments," his father told him. "But we will give you time. You must get to the Portkey. It will return you to Hogwarts. Do you understand, Harry?"

"Run away from a fucking fight, I should just cut his damn head off," Nnoitra grumbled under his breath. "Save me a lot of shit later."

"Do you understand, Harry?" James Potter repeated.

"Fine, for fuck's sake!"

Lily looked at him disapprovingly. "I'm just going to blame your language on my sister and her family."

"Do whatever the fuck you want."

"Do it now, Harry!"

Nnoitra rolled to the side as he tucked his wand away, the three apparitions swarming towards Voldemort. Death Eaters tried to get in front of him, but he quickly dispatched them. "Weak assholes," he commented as he summoned the Cup to him. That same feeling of a hook in his navel and he was back at school, outside the maze with music blaring in celebration.

"Knock that fucking shit off!"

* * *

"Something happened," Szayel commented as he ran up to Nnoitra, Tesla behind him. Ulquiorra was a bit calmer. Dumbledore was trying to speak with Nnoitra without him saying a curse every other word. "Harry, that cut on your arm…it doesn't look like something from a wild animal or a stray curse."

Nnoitra blinked at him then at his arm. "It's not," he answered plainly. "Cup was a fucking Portkey. Took me to some damn graveyard and that fucker Wormtail tied me to some tombstone. Some kind of fucked up ritual with bone of the father, flesh of the dumbass servant, and blood of the enemy. Oh, by the way, Voldemort's back and has his own body."

Ulquiorra shook his head. "Only you can announce something like that so casually."

"It's a talent," the tall teen commented with a grin.

* * *

Moody managed to get him away from the crowd. He shared a look with Szayel, who nodded once in understanding.

**Something is very wrong with him.**

_As you have been telling me ever since he showed us those three curses._

**Just stating fact.**

Moody began asking him question after question. Playing along, Nnoitra answered, yet he noticed one thing. Everyone called Voldemort 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' or 'You-Know-Who'. Very few call him by name. This guy, however, keeps calling him 'The Dark Lord'.

"You suck at infiltration," Nnoitra commented. "Only Death Eaters call him the Dark Lord."

The older wizard stopped at looked at him. "Yes, it was I. I put your name in the Goblet of Fire under a different school. I frightened off every person who might try to hurt you or prevent you from winning the tournament."

"Don't need any help there."

"Shut up! I nudged Hagrid into showing you the dragons! I told Diggory to open the egg underwater, trusting that he would pass on the information to you in order to repay you for your warning about the dragons."

"That was all Colin, I was just gonna leave the fucker alone."

"Shut up!"

* * *

"Yeah, you done with the life story yet?" Nnoitra boredly asked, flicking dirt out from under his nails as figures in the For Glass became a little more sharpened. "I'm getting kind of tired of those." He sighed heavily as Moody snarled at him in irritation. "By the way, you're a fucking asshole."

Quickly, he shot his hand out and disarmed him of his wand, also breaking his arm in the process. Moody screamed in agony as Nnoitra continued to squeeze and twist the damaged arm until the door opened. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape stared at him in shock.

"I've taken down tougher assholes than you," he told the screaming man before looking at the three professors. "Someone want to take him?"

* * *

Barty Crouch Jr., insanely faithful to Voldemort and insane just in general. With Veritaserum in his system, he spilled everything from his father taking him out of Azkaban because of his mother, to breaking free of the Imperius at the World Cup, to capturing the real Mad-Eye Moody, then to killing his own father.

Nnoitra leaned against a wall the entire time. "Fine, can I fucking go now? I'm tired and just don't have enough sense to give a shit."

"Not yet, Harry. You and I must have a discussion."

_Damn it all to Aizen!_

**Why do you damn everything to Aizen?**

_Because he's worse than Hell._

* * *

Szayel paced outside the room where the three professors went, Tesla leaning against a wall and Ulquiorra just staring out a random window. The door finally opened and Nnoitra was the first one out, cussing at the teachers to leave him alone.

"Harry!" Szayel snapped. "Be polite!"

Nnoitra gave him a blank look. "Really?"

The pink-haired teen shrugged. "Worth a shot. How did it go in there?"

"Mad-Eye Moody is actually a fucking Death Eater drinking Polyjuice Potion so he looks like Moody. He's actually baby Barty, and he was the asshole who put my name in the damn goblet and has apparently been indirectly helping me win this fucking tournament."

The other three teens stared at him. Tesla sighed. "Wow, you really know how to sum things up."

"Another useful talent!"

"Harry, go to the damn hospital wing and get some sleep!"

Three pairs of eyes looked at the cursing one. "Damn, Gabriel."

* * *

"They are too loud," Ulquiorra commented as Nnoitra slowly drifted back to the world outside of sleep.

"I know that voice," Tesla added on softly so he wouldn't wake up the taller teen. "That's Fudge."

"Who?" Szayel asked.

"A fucking arrogant asshole who believes whatever the hell he wants to believe," Nnoitra replied as he sat up. "I really want to punch him in the face."

"Oh, you're awake!" the pink-haired teen chirped before the doors opened, allowing Fudge and McGonagall to enter the room, arguing nearly at the top of their lungs. Then Dumbledore came in and started demanding an explanation for all the noise.

Nnoitra actually waited for a moment, trying to wake up, when he heard about the Dementor going near Barty Crouch Jr. "Are you fucking insane?!" he yelled at the minister. "A fucking Dementor?! You are so fucked up in the head! I can't fucking believe this shit!"

"Now you listen here, young man," Fudge started, stammering a little bit.

"No, you fucking listen, you fucking pile of shit! You just signed your fucking death warrant! Believe it or not, Voldemort is back! And he's going to come after your sorry ass! And you just brought in a fucking Dementor that just turned your only fucking witness into a fucking vegetable!"

"I lost count of all the fucks he just said," Szayel calmly announced as he rose to his feet and up to the minister. "He's very cranky when he is woken so rudely, but when he starts up these types of rants, he's very angry. I, personally, don't blame him for his anger."

Fudge humphed in a very poor dignified way, straighten his coat. "Well Crouch is no loss anyway," he started. "It seems he has been accountable for several deaths."

"But now, he cannot give testimony, Cornelius," Dumbledore told him. "He cannot give evidence about why he killed those people."

"Why he killed them? Well, that's no mystery, is it? He was a raving lunatic! From what Minerva and Severus have told me, he seems to have thought he was doing it all on You-Know-Who's instructions!"

"You're a fucking idiot," Nnoitra grumbled as Szayel sat beside him and Tesla behind, gently combing through his hair. Damn them for distracting him like this. Ulquiorra just stood off to the side and watched in silence.

"Lord Voldemort was giving him instructions, Cornelius," Dumbledore argued. "Those people's deaths were mere by-products of a plan to restore Voldemort to full strength again. The plan succeeded. Voldemort has been restored to his body."

The argument went on between Fudge and Dumbledore. Fudge called the idea of Voldemort's return preposterous, Dumbledore tried (and failed) to make him see sense. When Nnoitra's name was brought into the conversation, he flipped Fudge off when the minister looked at him.

"He's a dumbass," Nnoitra finally said after Fudge and Dumbledore argued some more. "Fine. Want to live in your lala land of sweet shit and fucking sparkles? Fine. In the end, you will feel despair when the weapon of your enemy is at your throat. When he stands over you victorious and you nothing more than a sniveling little pile of shit that you are, you will be filled with despair. So much of it. Because you're too fucking retarded to listen when people try to give you a fucking warning. Because you are so weak and he is too strong for you to handle.

"Despair will fill you because you are weak, and will be weak when Voldemort has you on Death's doorstep."

**We don't have a doorstep. We have very big trees and white sand. I don't know, maybe the Shinigami have doorsteps?**

…_Not the point…_

* * *

The foreigners had to leave the same day as the last school day. Szayel pouted and refused to leave Nnoitra's lap. "I refuse to go home!" he snapped at his headmistress when she attempted collection of her students. "I absolutely refuse! I have waited too long to see Harry again, and I refuse to leave him again!"

Ulquiorra noticed his fellow schoolmates gathering and rose to his feet. "Farewell, Quinta, Octava, Lindocruz."

"Later," Nnoitra muttered, arm wrapped tightly around Szayel's waist.

"Farewell, Cuarta," Szayel said to him.

"Bye," Tesla spoke last.

"Gabriel, it eez time to go," Maxine told him firmly.

"No!" Szayel protested until Nnoitra grabbed him by his chin and kissed him hard. When they broke apart, Nnoitra had a smirk on his face and Szayel seemed a little daze. "I'll see you next year when I come back for my Potions Apprenticeship."

"See you."

Szayel slid out of his spot on the taller teen's lap, straightened out his features, then looked up at his stunned headmistress with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. "Are we leaving or not?"

Inside Nnoitra's mind, Santa Teresa facepalmed.

Tesla suddenly looked at Nnoitra with realization. "I forgot to tell you, I gave your winnings to the Weasley twins and told them that you want them to open their joke shop soon."

Nnoitra shrugged. "Fine with me, those guys are awesome."

* * *

**Wow, I cannot believe it took me this long to get this chapter up! I was hoping to put a chapter up every month…so much for that idea. I blame you, PS3. Just got Mass Effect trilogy and am having way too much fun with it. But if someone can tell me why my ME1 save won't import into my ME2 game, I would appreciate and explanation and solution. It's kind of pissing me off.**

**Anyway, I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I tried to go over it a multitude of times to make sure there were none, but I'm sure I missed a few. And FYI, this chapter is 58 pages long. I am amazed.**

**Now I won't promise a chapter next month. I can't. With work and other things (one of them mentioned above), I don't know when I will get it out or if I can even motivate myself into writing it. I hated Order of the Phoenix simply because it was such a slow book and kind of boring. Hopefully, Nnoitra and the gang can make it more exciting, ^^**


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